Our father
Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:30 pm
It has come to the point were your comments have come to fruition. I am going to college and I have a lot of aid from my father right now at the moment. I've just completed 2 years of community school. As an incoming freshman he wouldn't commit to my education for fear of drop out but now he is ok, also my step mother was just against me going to school for an attempt at revenge or w/e, (she was happy I didn't pass a placement exam for instance) Besides her, my father hurt me a lot with that. This isn't the beginning though, throughout my life he has been verbally abusive to me. He has lashed out on me for things that were really about my mom or my moms husband. He lectured me on the way to school every morning telling me how horrible my mom was "the things i'd tell you when your older" I still remember that. Additionally what his character is and what he has done doesn't help either (adultery, compulsive about pornography, relationships with others..) Frankly I don't respect him. We talk superficially because this has never been cleared up. I'm not alone my half brother and sister nearly twice my age are in the same position with him. I spoke to them and they say confronting him won't work, they have tried; feel defeated. My sister said, if I did confront him about this he might say something like " fuck you, I didn't do anything wrong." and she would feel worse than before. Both seem ok with having this superficial relationship. I said about my personal integrity, I'm considering withdrawing from his support for school if he doesn't change or apologize to all that he has hurt and thats a long list. My sister said when he gave her some money she felt like that was his compensation for his actions to her and it was about time; she deserved it. So this what I'm asking now that I feel you have good understanding.
Do I? If so how do I and what really should I say? What do I really want from him as father after that? Consequentially this is now pressure on my brother and sister, a great rift in my family but thats actually nothing at the moment. My mother probably won't like it because I'm burdening myself with loans not to mention additional pressure on her. I've been really thinking, and I don't want to build a church out of mafia money so to speak. That I shouldn't take his money unless I appreciate it instead of like my sister feeling like its compensation.
Much Aloha
Do I? If so how do I and what really should I say? What do I really want from him as father after that? Consequentially this is now pressure on my brother and sister, a great rift in my family but thats actually nothing at the moment. My mother probably won't like it because I'm burdening myself with loans not to mention additional pressure on her. I've been really thinking, and I don't want to build a church out of mafia money so to speak. That I shouldn't take his money unless I appreciate it instead of like my sister feeling like its compensation.
Much Aloha