Our tutorials make a distinction between mutually satisfying communication and talking. We define communication by its result; "I know communication has taken place when I've manifested my stated intention and all concerned feel good upon completion." —Kerry (Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach)

1. When your baby continues to cry, after the "usuals" have been been checked, communicate to him/her, "Yes, tell me more. What else? I get that you're upset, tell me more. Tell me what the sadness and hurt is about." Keep asking and listening until you "get" recreate his/her communications—this rather than psychically making it wrong for communicating, trying to get it, to make the baby, stop. Remember, your baby experienced all the positive and negative vibrations between you and others 24/7 while in utero, each one needs to be completed. As always, each and everyone one of your thoughts, deeds and communications affect your child.
   
   
2. Children are integrity meters, they are extremely susceptible to the vibrations of, the out-integrities of, their parents. Not unlike a magnet next to a compass the child has no choice other than to go off course. In lay terms, the confusing non-verbal, abusive, energy-sapping vibrations between parents cause a child to be fearful and confused, to shut down, to withhold thoughts (bigislandforum.org/reunion/withhold.htm). He/she can't be with a teacher's communications.
   
   
3. As your teen approaches dating-age ask him/her to present you with a written itemized list of the typical costs of raising a child through age 18 (doctors, hospitals, food, clothing, etc.).
   
   
4. As your teen approaches dating-age ask if they believe there's such a thing as an "accidental" pregnancy (Google: Dear Gabby, "Birds 'n Bees 2.0").
   
   
5. As your teen approaches dating age ask them to present you with a list of your monthly expenses— mortgage, food, clothing, fuel, medical, house and car ins, tel/Internet subscriptions.
   
   
6. A misbehaving/failing student is letting everyone know that he/she is not in-communication with anyone—that there is a communication breakdown at home (comcom121.org/breakdowns.htm). Each family member is withholding significant thoughts from everyone. There are no exceptions to this phenomenon. The student has not been acknowledged for one or more good deeds or perpetrations—the adults around the student have become stuck doing their imitation of communication (comcom121.org/imitation.htm).
   
   
7. Children who are yelled at are ripe for bullying at school. Specifically, a parent's verbal abuse that's not later acknowledge as being abusive. I.e. Parent: "I get that my yelling at you earlier today didn't feel good—that it was abusive."
   
   
8. One way to shut down your child, to drive them to drugs and deceitful (looking for love behind your back) teen-sex, is to treat their mother/father abusively without cleaning up each instance. For example: Father to mother, in front of their child: "I get that what I just said didn't feel good."
   
   
9. The child of parents addicted to blaming and violent verbal abuse believes there must be something wrong with them (the child) because they don't inspire love—for some, suicide, for others Columbine-type anger (such parents most always later report, "I had no idea.").
   
   
10. Asking a child a question to which you know the answer, such as, "Did you brush your teeth?" is a sneaky set-up. It non-verbally teaches your child to be sneaky.
    
    
11. Children lie and grass is green. Making grass wrong, punishing it for being green, is not very masterful. What's worse, punishment causes (yes causes) more deceptions and more lying—evidenced by the fact that the majority of teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex.
    
    
12. To empty your child's mind at bedtime, to restore and maintain their integrity, do The [free] Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person (comcom121.org/clearing/child.htm).
    
    
13. If you are not experiencing love with your partner then you are withholding a significant thought from him/her. A withhold serves as a barrier to the experience of love; to withhold a significant thought from a loved one (to deceive them) is abusive, it's not a gift of love—it dooms them to a relationship with few or no moments of joy, seldom drug-free ecstasy.
    
    
14. Parents who hypocritically "teach" truth-telling while hiding their own teen-perpetrations from their teen (including all lies, thefts, abuses, teen-sex and drug experiences) train their child to be deceptive. It's virtually impossible for a child to be as "good" as they have been led to believe their parents were as children.
    
    
15. A fetus experiences all the vibrations between his/her parents (Google: "womb-mails—baby's email to expectant parents"). The unconscious raised-voice, the verbal abuses spouses perpetrate on each other during pregnancy are frightening to the fetus; each abuse needs to be verbally acknowledged to the fetus, or later to the baby. Babies cry when they are incomplete, therefore a parent must intend that their baby cry so as to acknowledge/get their incompletes (managercoaching.com/books.htm#Aware).

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