Your decision, whether to adopt a child from your community, state or another country, is important.
 

What can an orphan see that most others can't?

If you have in mind to adopt a "poor" child from another country then it might work to double-check to ensure that it's not about ego—being better than, showing off, holier than thou. An addiction to being a self-righteous helper wreaks havoc on the helped person, it creates dependence. You'll know you're confronting something significant if you can't let go of your decision and get back to choice (a decision murders the alternative—communication can no longer take place). The test is to ask a few neighbors, "I'm thinking of adopting a child from another country rather than one from our city, what are your thoughts?"

There's a theory that one should eat foods that match ones blood type—that different countries and ethnic groups have certain blood-types and therefore their diets (their food groups) have optimized their health. This implies—if you adopt a child from Africa with say, blood-type B, and your family emigrated from Northern Europe, then you would be unconsciously forcing your adoptee to eat foods that might not compliment his/her genes. Some think that an area's geographic energy-fields and magnetic-fields are imprinted into one's body, possibly even the area's spatial relationship to the planets—some even think that one should eat foods grown locally with the same magnetic influences.

Airline attendants advise to affix your own oxygen mask before your child's. The premise: You won't be any good to your child if you're dead. Adopting from a foreign country draws attention to the fact that America has hundreds of thousands of wonderful deserving children waiting to be adopted. Think of what a child might say if you asked, "Would you prefer I adopt someone from another county or adopt you?" Churches send millions to other countries even though they haven't effectively successfully addressed the homeless-hunger problem in their own community it doesn't speak well about the effectiveness of their teachings. In short, get your own community working first before importing a child to a community that still won't take care of its own.  I.e. "Come live with me poor child even though I know (with absolute certainty) that many in my community will treat you disrespectfully." —to do so is not a gift of love. It will mean a lifetime of overt/covert subtle racism for your charge. Just because you are willing to experience all that comes from mixed-race families, doesn't mean you have permission to submit another to your game. Children have enough challenges as it is without dumping unnecessary ones in their space.

Removing a child from their home country, from his/her birth parents and extended family, places an emotional and financial burden on the birth parents should they ever want to see/visit their child. A decision made when one was down-and-out (perhaps even temporarily mentally/physically [hungry] incapacitated) might be painful to enforce should a birth parent heal and come to his/her senses. Removing a child to another country deprives the child of their cultural heritage and the wisdom that comes from the support of both sets of grandparents and the extended family. Mo betta to adopt (financially support) an entire family and visit them occasionally.

When adopting any child you can never be certain whether a health or behavior problem has something to do with the parent's DNA or the mother's diet before and during the pregnancy, or the damaging abusive sounds, thoughts, and emotions the embryo experienced. If for instance the birth mother seldom ate fresh vegetables/fruit or live foods, or if they ate lots of junk food, then the baby possibly began life not fully developed. If the embryo was submitted to daily abuses between the parents the child could manifest these abuses behaviorally. If the mother didn't drink enough water the embryo was submitted to toxins daily.

Over the years I've been asking mothers whose babies appear to be awake, alert, happy, outgoing, and respond positively to a stranger's smile, if they took pain medication during the birth process. Most always the answer is no, "It was a drug-free natural, or even a home, birth." Drugs enter a baby's blood stream (including the brain) and numbs them; some don't appear to recover for a long time, if ever.

During our weekend-long Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Workshop we do a Clearing Process It's about completing one's incompletes and acknowledging life's perpetrations so as to begin with a clean slate. The most common perpetration shared by mothers is the guilt of doing/eating unhealthy things during pregnancy. Most mothers drag such thoughts of guilt into each and every interaction—for life. Giving a child up for adoption may be the most responsible compassionate gift a parent can give—saving the child from a life of verbal abuse, from the karma of parents who are out-integrity. A pre-puberty orphan's mind will tell itself everything's fine because it doesn't yet understand the multiple significances of having been given up for adoption. However, thoughts such as [Was it me, was it my fault?] ring repeatedly in the mind. What the mind knows is that it could happen again, abandonment is real, it could be abandoned again. The next time it want's to be ready, and so, like a blind person who develops super auditory and tactile senses as well as extra-sensory perceptions, an orphan develops an ability to sense when something wrong, when something is out-integrity, when a communication-breakdown leading to abandonment might happen again.

An orphan becomes supersensitive to non-verbal and psychic communications between any adult couples or new foster parents. In other words, an orphan has experienced the vibrations that his/her birth parents generated during discussions (when thinking or verbalizing such thoughts) about whether to give their child up for adoption. The parent's grief, anxiety, abusive loud arguments, are all stored in an orphan's mind; an orphan knows exactly what the vibrations were during prenatal development, when the adults were having relationship-communication problems, when the adults were in fact each unconsciously masterminding a separation/divorce/adoption. If a birth mother held/holds in her mind that if things get bad I'll put the child up for adoption (if a mother has a premeditated Plan B as an option) then the developing embryo is aware of the possibility and lives life consistent with that possibility. Some mothers never ever have such a thought and so their child lives secure in that regard. Read: What to do when your baby won't stop crying. A person who administers a polygraph machine (a lie detector) first asks a series of obviously true and obviously false questions. This gives the operator a baseline, a standard from which to compare other truths and lies. So too it is with a young child. A child accumulates enough baseline measurements to know when his/her parents are happy and giggling and experiencing love. The space is open; the vibrations feel good, they are soothing. Conversely, when the parents are experiencing upset or anger the space is obviously shut down and heavy, there is no space for communication to take place, just talking (exchanged words). It causes concern and fear. If the anger is dramatized for hours or days it's even more frightening, mostly because the child thinks that he/she is causing the friction between the parents (this, no matter the words used to assure him/her they are not responsible; at some level a child intuitively knows more about responsibility than the parents).

The above is what's so for a child who lives with his/her birth parents. What's so for most orphans is that they are even more sensitive. Because an orphan's memory, of somehow having caused the first abandonment, they are supersensitive to any vibrations that portend another move, another set of guardians. They can tell when there's a breakdown in communication between the guardians; more specifically, they can sense when there is a withhold, deceit, or unacknowledged perpetration in the space between them. It's a scary vibration, it's the absence of harmony. Thoughts withheld between partners serve as barriers to the experience of communication and of love. This heightened sensitivity to integrity can be thought of as an orphan's learned survival skill
Expressions of love to a child, when delivered by a parent who is dramatizing an upset with his/her partner, can't be gotten as an experience, only as words. In other words, if the parents aren't experiencing love between them then love can't be turned on for just a second, "Oh, child, I love  you." and in the next breath continue where they left off in the argument. Thinks the mind, how can you love me and be abusing each other—especially knowing how it affects me?

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Last edited 6/7/21