Hi Guilty: It's obvious that you have not been ready to have life work as you say you want; you're still needing to crash 'n burn. Most people unconsciously create a circumstance (divorce, accident, job-loss, or sickness) that inspires them to go straight; others are proactive and ask for support. Your problem isn't serious unless you read this reply and still choose to not clean up the messes.

You became stuck after your first childhood lie, the one for which you didn't get caught, such as; "Did you brush your teeth?" Most everyone is still paying themselves back for their very first unacknowledged lie, ergo, your less-than-satisfying job. We each dramatize our first perpetration differently. Some handle it quickly, others drag it around a while or for life. Your letter is about you unconsciously setting up life to get caught for the first incident of deception. If it doesn't readily come to mind, then you need to create some room to see it by doing a Clearing Process, (see below). After each clearing you'll start to remember more and more perpetrations you've hidden even from your self. Arrogance is believing that you got away with them, that there's no correlation between your integrity (your incompletes) and present-day results.

You haven't learned from direct experience that there are undesirable consequences for deception. Just as one learns from putting their hand over a flame so too does one learn from lying (you understand the concept of lying and its consequences, you just haven't gotten it as an experience yet). The choice to tell the truth is still not an automatic way of relating for you. Your deceit and lies haven't cost you enough yet; actually they have, you just can't see the consequences in terms of love, health, fulfillment and therefore the experience of purpose, of job satisfaction and prosperity.

You don't say what's wrong with your present job but I suspect that your integrity has something to do with your dissatisfactions; goodness knows what perpetrations you committed so as to get hired. I'd place a large wager that there are omissions and inaccuracies on all of your Job Application Forms.

I'm guessing that none of the interviewers for your new job (assuming the interviewer responsibly asked if you are presently employed) were ethical enough to ask, "Do you have your boss's support in taking off from work for this interview?" A person of integrity can sense when there is deceit in the space; it's an aura thing. A person who is out-integrity has so many out-integrities they can't sense when another is dragging around deceptions. In other words, you're automatically attracting employers who themselves have character flaws similar to yours (interviewers always always mirror the integrity of the CEO). I'm referring to the fact that the interviewers have unconsciously supported you in deceiving and thwarting a fellow merchant. Not smart karma-wise (for more about the consequences of deceit go here).

Given that you're obviously not committed to the success of your employer, ask yourself if you'd want today's you working for you? Would you want an intimate partner/spouse to behave the same way with their employer?

You'll notice that I'm not offering advice. Why? If a person addicted to deceit is offered "good" advice they won't be able to make it work because it doesn't come from their mind. Notice that even though you "feel guilty" you still couldn't bring yourself to do the "right" thing, to correct the mess.

You ask, is there a way to get the results you want without having to be honest with your boss? Where did you get the idea that a columnist would help you design a work-around to the option of honesty? —that's a rhetorical question, we already know the answer. Is it possible that your boss is aware of your addiction to deceit and is non-verbally intending for you to take your integrity issues elsewhere, perhaps to a competitor?

The question to ask is, would you hire you? —assuming you'd be looking for an employee who can be trusted to communicate openly, honestly, and spontaneously.

You need to consciously create a mind-altering experiential transformation (via therapy, counseling, or communication-skills coaching, hopefully not an illness/accident—typical motivators for going straight—else, you'll be training your spouse, children, friends (and employees if any), to deceive you. There are no exceptions to this fundamental communication mirroring phenomenon.