Responsibility pg. 2 of 2
Here's the definition of responsibility that's used throughout the tutorial:
First, an introduction to prepare you for "getting" and experiencing responsibility; reading it can be either an upsetting or a validating transformational experience.
In communication jargon this introduction is referred to as creating a context, a basket into which content is communicated.
For example:
"I have something to tell you and I'm afraid you will get upset." (this creates a basket)
When you preface a message with this sentence the other person's mind, to be right, will do its best to not get upset. This works even when the other knows they are being controlled/manipulated.
Here then is the context for this other definition:
It's possible that the following definition will cause you to stop reading, to shut down, to pooh pooh it. That's Ok. If there's any truth in it the subject of responsibility will surface again, quite often within hours or days of reading this definition.
When the mind is confronted with something that threatens its beliefs, its reality, its survival, it usually shuts down automatically. It's tricky getting past the mind, to the naturally knowing self, using the mind. This is why experiential (hands on, in person) communication workshops are preferable to reading this material. Once you have agreed to be in a workshop your integrity supports you in keeping the workshop agreement, ". . . to stay through to completion and experience the upsets, to stay past the point where you would normally shut down while reading, or in a conversation, walk away, and not let something in that might conflict with your belief system, your way of thinking, your paradigm."
I got the following definition through Werner Erhard. Werner is the founder of est, (Erhard Seminars Training), The Hunger Project, and The Forum.
The story goes that Werner looked up the definition of responsibility in several dictionaries and found confusing inconsistencies. More importantly, none communicated to him in a way that he could easily understand or remember. So he composed the following definition; it is not a direct quote of Werner nor is it "the" definition, merely one of several. What I like about it is that it communicates to me. More so, because most everyone who hears/reads it can relate its essence to others; appropriately, it triggers a reaction, usually upset, for a person who has become stuck blaming someone or some thing; it gives one a choice in present-time, the option of more denial or of communicating an incident responsibly—from cause.
Here's the other definition:
Responsibility:
Responsibility begins with the willingness to communicate from the point of view of cause, that you are cause for what happens to you and that you are cause for what another does and says to you, whether you are aware in the moment of just how you are cause and, that ultimately you are cause for what another does to another. Responsibility has nothing to do with blame, fault, guilt, or shame.
End of definition
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