Our tutorials make a distinction between
communicating and talking. We define communication by its result; "I
know communication has taken place when I've manifested my stated
intention and all concerned feel good upon completion." —Kerry
(Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach)
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If you find yourself uncomfortable interacting with the
opposite sex, then you are deceiving your parents about
something; you are withholding one or more significant thoughts
from your parents—there are no exceptions to this phenomenon.
If you find yourself hiding thoughts from your parents,
it's not your fault; you are
mirroring their addiction to withholding thoughts from
you and from each other.
A way to
cause your
parents to continually abuse each other is for you to remain
silent; a way to make a positive difference is to ask, "What's
going on with you two?" Or, "You do know that it doesn't
feel good to hear you yell at each other?"
Conning a date into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex
behind their backs is not love, it's premeditated abuse; it causes (yes
causes) undesirable karma.
BTW: There is no such thing as an "accidental" pregnancy.
The majority
of parents withhold certain thoughts from each other—such
deceits automatically, non-verbally, train a child to withhold
thoughts of choice from their parents.
Lots of angry outbursts and uncomfortable silence around the house reveals
that your parents have become stuck in irresponsible blaming;
both are withholding specific
thoughts from each other. There are
no exceptions to this phenomenon. "What's going on? You
two look upset." is a great way to get them to open up; you
become cause for restoring
everyone's integrity.
A sure-fire way to transform your relationship with your parents is
to ask each to share their teen perpetrations with you—it's
virtually impossible for you to be as "good" as you've been led to believe your parents
were when they were teens.
The prerequisite for all teens approaching dating age (before their first date) is to present to his/her parents a written
list itemizing the major estimated costs (doctors, hospitals, food, clothing) of raising a child
the first year, and, the costs through to age 18. Also, ask who the teen expects will pay for an
"accidental" pregnancy.
It's important to know that it's abusive of your parents to communicate
abusively with each other, and then not clean it up (acknowledge
the abuse) afterwards in front of you. For example: Father to mother,
in front of you,
"I get that what I said earlier didn't feel good."
Conning a boy into repeatedly begging for sex is unethical;
conning a boy into "accidentally" impregnating you is referred to as
entrapment.
A "No sex"
communicated gets gotten and transforms the relationship. A "No
sex" said, but not meant (not communicated), is a lie, for
which there are always undesirable consequences.
A lie (or
deceit between you and your parents) creates undesirable
consequences—such as, difficulty comprehending or remembering what you just
read when studying.
Teens thinking
about having sex must share such thoughts
with both sets of parents, else the professed love is not love.
Love cannot exist in a space occupied by deception. Such
"love" is referred to an "imitation of love" the result of
doing one's
imitation of communication.
An "accidental"
teen pregnancy is eventually discovered to have been
intentional—a consequence
of an unacknowledged perpetration, a deceit—there are no exceptions.
If you con a boy into impregnating you
you'll have revealed your addiction to deceiving
and to being deceived. There are no
"accidental" pregnancies.
If, as a teen, you impregnate a girl you will have
revealed, no matter what you say or believe, that you don't respect
her; one doesn't risk the remote possibility of ruining a girl's chances of having a career
to fall back on, except that respect is missing in the relationship.
You wouldn't want someone to impregnate your teen sister.
The prerequisite for all teens approaching driving age is to present
to their parents a list of the expenses involved in having a
vehicle—cost of the car, insurance, financing, the cost for tow trucks, the cost
for a scratched fender, the cost to rent a car, and how much one
loses when selling a car that's been in an accident
(read
about responsible lending and borrowing).
If you hide things from your parents, if you lie to, or
deceive them, you will automatically attract a partner who will
deceive you—most always it's infidelity.
There are no exceptions to this phenomenon. The negative karma for
all lies and deceits,
all abuses, can be transformed into positive
karma through communication.
To be a
well-adjusted responsible person doesn't mean that you must not lie, steal or deceive;
it means that you can be trusted to verbally acknowledge each and every
perpetration to your parents, thereby disappearing the negative
karma of unacknowledged perpetrations. Ask both parents to share
their teen perpetrations with you—it's a conversation
you'll remember for life.
All teen
sadness and unhappiness is caused by a teen addicted to
blaming, one who refuses to talk with someone about what's bothering
them. If you ain't happy there's no one to blame but yourself.
You are more
"woke" than most adults. You can see what’s going on
around you better than most adults; you can see all the
hypocrisies they non-verbally support.
When your parents are grumpy and you haven’t heard them say nice
things to each other for a few days they are non-verbally asking
for your help. They are dramatizing one or more upsets between
them. Both are withholding an
equal
number of significant thoughts from each other. There no
exceptions to this phenomenon.
Each and every unacknowledged perpetration
(each lie, deception or abuse) that has not been verbally
communicated to your parents affects everything you do—for life.
As a teen you must know
how much money your parents earn; you must know their debt-load (how
much they owe); you must ask to see their checkbook so as to
know how much they spend on rent, car, food, insurances, etc.
You must know the maintenance/repair costs for everything. I.e.
House needs new roof, car needs new tires. etc..