Can I return love and attraction to my husband?
Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:58 am
Dear Gabby: I’m married for 25 years and I think have a quite good marriage. Me and my husband are good friends, do many things together and share similar lifestyle. My husband was my first and only sexual partner. I was brought up in a family with strict rules that taught me that the only way to have sex is after the marriage. At that time (being 18 ) I had an impression that sex is something that men invented to satisfy themselves and all you get is babies, so had no expectations about that part of the marriage. I think sex was ok at the beginning (but I don’t remember having orgasm), but about 10 years ago all my desire slowly disappeared. My husband is still sexually very active and he was starting to get upset with me not wanting it. I always thought that there was something wrong with me. I tried different things – pills, meditation, acupuncture… Lately I've noticed that my body wants to have sex, but when I have it with my husband I still feel unsatisfied. Even when he goes on for longer time I’m just getting tired and waiting for him to finish.
About a year ago I met another man. We became friends first and then fell in love with each other. We ended up having an affair. My reaction to his touch completely surprised me. I was shaking with desire. We can kiss for hours. The sex was unbelievable and I was ready to do it every day. He loves me and wants me to be with him. I love him too. But sex is not a main thing. We enjoy every minute we spend together and with him I feel comfortable and calm.
I told my husband all about it and said that I want to leave. He was devastated and even though I was under impression that he is not that happy with me (he criticized me a lot for different things), he told me that he loves me deeply wants us to stay together and try to recover our relationship.
My husband is a good man and I don’t want to hurt him again with failed attempt. Will it be possible to fall back in love with my husband again and is it possible to return physical attraction or it is better just take a chance and move on with the person I love already? —Lostgirl
About a year ago I met another man. We became friends first and then fell in love with each other. We ended up having an affair. My reaction to his touch completely surprised me. I was shaking with desire. We can kiss for hours. The sex was unbelievable and I was ready to do it every day. He loves me and wants me to be with him. I love him too. But sex is not a main thing. We enjoy every minute we spend together and with him I feel comfortable and calm.
I told my husband all about it and said that I want to leave. He was devastated and even though I was under impression that he is not that happy with me (he criticized me a lot for different things), he told me that he loves me deeply wants us to stay together and try to recover our relationship.
My husband is a good man and I don’t want to hurt him again with failed attempt. Will it be possible to fall back in love with my husband again and is it possible to return physical attraction or it is better just take a chance and move on with the person I love already? —Lostgirl