Beauty tip that works (it's free)
Throughout life we have lied, deceived, and abused others; mostly thousands of non-verbal invalidations, "trashing, stink-eye/roll-eye disses," seemingly small "white-lie" stuff. I.e., "Did you brush your teeth?"* "Did you do your homework?" "Who ate all the ice cream?" "He's a jerk." Or, typical parent-lies, "I'll pick you up at 3:00." or, "No TV until you finish your homework." —children learn from previous lies when you don't mean it. I.e., You taught them that you could be conned.**
Most of us adopt a belief that a single lie doesn't affect us, our results, our success or happiness, or our health. This belief is often formed after a parent asked if you brushed your teeth and you lied; and, they were unconscious and didn't catch your lie. You've never been acknowledged "caught" for that specific lie. And, life has been working well but not as great as you know is possible.*** You have yet to learn how to co-create, for yourself and a loved one, the MDMA (molly-like) experience of joy and ecstasy, via responsible, truthful (zero deceits), communication.
Our first unacknowledged lie affects all outcomes—for life. What? —you don't think that each and every lie and each and every truth have an effect? It could be said that a flick of a finger moves every atom in the universe—to fill the void left from where the finger was, and to make room for its new position, and, that our thoughts affect all outcomes, Read: The Intention Experiment. Another point of view is that the atoms don't move, they simply transform, from a relatively solid finger (its atoms densely packed so that we can see and feel them) to air.
One's first unacknowledged lie produces compounding consequences. “Unacknowledged” meaning, you haven't got caught yet, you haven't admitted it to anyone. You may have alluded to it by telling someone “I used to lie a lot,” but that doesn't complete the karmic effects of that specific lie. The way the mind usually handles abuses is that it "forgets" that it did so. Via clearings/coaching one is guided in remembering and completing. One's mind is clouded with incompletes or it is empty, with lots of space to create new experiences. Creative people know that one can't create something in a space that's occupied by something.
What we did notice back then was that mother wasn't as all-knowing as we originally believed, and most importantly, "God" didn't, as we had been "deceptively led" to believe, strike us down with a bolt of lightning.
What's not commonly known is that each perpetration modifies our facial muscles. If we could see a photo of the pure innocent you the day before your first boldfaced, purposeful, conscious lie, and another photo right after the lie, we'd see a difference, a slight look of guilt, shame, and fear, etc. Sleep that night wasn't as sound. Three or more of your 43 face muscles didn't return to 100% "innocent" rest. This happens with each perpetration throughout life, adding 3 or more face muscles not completely returning to innocence after each perpetration (three + three + three, etc.). Notice that some children look angry, sad, tough, unhappy, or sneaky; with adults, they look stern and unhappy, they don't look approachable, this is partly because their parents didn't do a clearing process each evening.*** The same applies after each unacknowledged abusive yell or raised voice to a child. Some seniors don't look anything like they did when young, so angry, so unhappy, so lacking in aliveness (some are so out-integrity that they sap one's energy). A clearing completes energy-sapping thoughts—even for elders.*****
Law enforcement professionals are able to predict, with considerable accuracy, one's integrity via their non-verbal communications (what their face is communicating, their behavior-history), it's referred to as "profiling." One either looks open and honest or something's going on with their integrity.
At the beginning of our weekend-long Relationship Communication Workshops, we take a “before” photo of each participant. During the weekend we do a variety of completion processes paired off with others. Each process is about restoring (creating/recreating) the experience of integrity. The aim is to acknowledge all of life's “good” and “bad” deeds. It’s usually the first time a participant has been completely honest with anyone. What’s remarkable is that we take another photo around midnight on the last day of the workshop. Everyone looks years younger and happier; all the guilt, shame, and sadness have been disappeared via communication. The memory of a childhood abuse still exists, however, the emotional charge, the effects that have triggered automatic (no choice) knee-jerk anger since then, have disappeared.
To look younger and to feel wholesome and energetic do The [free] Clearing Process. It's an educational process that cannot not work. Why? Because anyone who consciously chooses to learn something, is ready to learn, they intend for it to work. Most of us were not ready to learn specific subjects K-12 (especially interpersonal and intrapersonal communication). What we learned K-12 was how to talk. We learned by emulating the Adversarial Communication Model used by our parents and teachers. This way of interacting, this way of relating, is characterized by withholding, badmouthing, and blaming. "Communication" cannot be taught in public schools because such a curriculum requires impeccable honesty with one's parents (zero deceits/withholds. Such training can only be effectively delivered by a completely honest person. Note: All (yes all, zero exceptions) present-day teachers are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance. It's an unconsciously, non-verbally, agreed-upon pact. "I'll withhold thoughts of choice from you and I grant you permission to withhold specific thoughts from me."
All divorced couples withheld one or more significant (potentially deal-breaking) thoughts from each other on or before their first date; all brought their addictions to withholding and blaming into the relationship. With 44+ years of coaching thousands, I have yet to find an exception.
* ". . . brush your teeth" Be kind, be polite, don't yell, tell the truth, brush your teeth instruction-communications (when delivered by a parent who is withholding one or more significant thoughts from their partner) don't get gotten at the level of automatic actionability. The words are heard but the hypocrisy in the relationship (between the three) serves as a barrier to communication, including recreating a teacher's communications. The child's unconscious intrapersonal communication goes something like, "How dare you abuse/deceive my ...? Your words of wisdom aren't always true."
** "taught them to con..." Predictably your teen, emulating your integrity, will con a date into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have their first sex; oblivious of the karmic effects of such deceit.
*** Therapy doesn't always work because the client has not been acknowledged for all life's perpetrations. They unconsciously chose a therapist whom they could con, later saying, "We tried therapy and it didn't work." The same applies to recidivists, parolees that had not been acknowledged for the perpetrations they committed prior to the one for which they were incarcerated, and for those they committed during incarceration (petty food thefts, etc.). We all unconsciously set up life to complete our incompletes (our unacknowledged perpetrations), so as to restore our integrity.
**** Once you have completed The Clearing Process you can facilitate the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen —it ensures that your child is not dragging around unacknowledged incompletes (thoughts that get in the way of communication with one's teachers).
***** A clearing with a dying elder supports him/her dying with integrity, zero lies or deceptions; most relatives are addicted to withholding and blaming—it's possible that the "health/aliveness" issue began right after a horrendous abuse of another. Read: Communications in Support of health.
Last edited 12/18/21