Do you look loving and approachable, pleasant, and honest or does your face, your aura, reveal that you're dragging around dozens of incompletes?
Would an FBI profiler classify you as trustworthy and honest-looking?
For what role would a film casting director choose you?
In gamboling a tell refers to a micro-facial expression, an almost imperceptible movement that indicates something just happened, an experience that triggered a hard-to-control emotional reaction. The opponent just experienced a good thing, or a bad thing, or an Ok thing; or, perhaps it was a purposeful pupil-dilation to throw off the others.
As pertains to communication coaching, a person is either operating from integrity or they are dragging around incompletes that serve as tells, indicators of thoughts being withheld, mostly "bad things," the accumulation of life's unacknowledged perpetrations (abuses, thefts, deceits, lies). Withholds serve as barriers to communication, to consistently manifesting one's stated intentions.
For example: Perhaps you can remember your first childhood lie, i.e., "Did you brush your teeth?" or one that you've hidden from your parents all these years, almost completely "forgotten." No doubt you've believed that you got away with that perpetration, that it hasn't been affecting your results all these years. If we could see a photo of the pure innocent you the day before the lie and another photo right after the lie we'd see a noticeable difference, a slight look of guilt and shame and fear, etc. Sleep that night wasn't as sound. Three of your 43 face muscles didn't return to 100% "innocent" rest. This happens with each perpetration throughout life.
After a few successful early childhood perpetrations the body begins to lose its radiance; the skin stretches or begins to tighten, frowns and wrinkles begin to form, smile muscles, due to unuse, begin to atrophy, the vibrations emanating from you are less pleasing. Children who collect dozens of unacknowledged perpetrations throughout each day, day-after-day, begin to look sad, defiant, tough, mean, sneaky, angry. To restore and maintain your child's integrity do the [free] Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen.
A person who operates with a relatively high degree of integrity can experience when something isn't right with another, the vibrations feel uncomfortable, it's an aura thing. They don't know what's in the space, only that a significant thought is being withheld. The person is relatively shut down, emotionally bound up. An aware person doesn't engage in significant conversations with someone whose aura doesn't feel good. In other words, your tell, your aura, might have been driving others (the nice ones) away from you.
Bottom line:
Your tells mirror your integrity. You are either relatively happy throughout most days or you have been trying to be happy using what "unhappy" teachers taught you about communication. If you're not satisfied with your results it means you are withholding a significant thought from someone of significance. Deceit always produces less-than-desirable outcomes. What's worse is that you are causing those around you to deceive you as well; your withholding game keeps those around you from experiencing joy. If, after reading this, you continue with more of the same behaviors, it will be premediated abuse.
To restore and maintain your integrity do the free Clearing Process for Professionals.
Last edited 2/11/23