Creating/recreating the experience of love

[Gabby]

If you are not experiencing the experience of love with someone close to you it reveals your addiction to deceit; specifically, there are thoughts you have consciously chosen to not share verbally with them and that they have an equal number (yes, the same number) of thoughts they have not verbalized to you.* The word "verbally" is a reminder that one is always communicating their thoughts non-verbally. Assuming you have experienced love with your partner, and you haven't experienced it lately, then your partner is equally unconscious; they don't know what's wrong. The love has become conceptualized. You know you love each other but the experience has been missing.

More accurately: "... it reveals that you have caused him/her to withhold thoughts from you; you have not created a safe space for truths to be told." The leadership communication skills you bring to a relationship pre-determines whether or not they will be open and honest with you. All divorced couples (yes all) brought their addictions to deceit and blaming into the relationship; all withheld a significant thought from each other on their very first date. Both had (and most likely still have) thoughts (specific perpetrations) they have hidden from their parents.**

Creating the experience of love:

• Imagine there's a pile of sand between you and each person. The pile is not so high that you can't see and interact with each other but high enough to serve as a barrier to hugging and the experience of joyous love (being one with the other). The sand represents a pile of thoughts, yours and theirs. The way to experience love is to shovel away (verbally communicate) each grain, each thought, until there is nothing between you (including the all important thought, if true, "You're not my number 10"). What's left is the experience of love. The way to recreate an experience of love at will is to keep the space clear of all grains of sand. One grain (one thought withheld) serves as a barrier to the experience of communication, of love; no grains between you and another is referred to as being in-integrity, being one with each other.

Do The [free] Clearing Process, then invite your partner to do it, so that you both can do the Clearing Process for Couples. It's guaranteed to produce an experience of love. If you suspect, or know, your partner won't accept your supportive invitation then the relationship is all over except for the violent abusive arguing.

* It's impossible for one partner to have a withhold and the other to have none. Withholding a thought automatically causes (yes causes) the other to withhold thoughts also. With 44+ years facilitating 3-hour consultations I have not found a single exception to this phenomenon.

** If you plan (premeditated deceit) to con a date into conning both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs, then the relationship is doomed from the start. Image the character of a date that would non-verbally support you in deceiving both sets of parents, experientially ignorant of the correlation between one's personal integrity and outcomes.

Last edited 2/26/24