- Questions on a Job Application Form: "Have you ever engaged the services of a counselor, therapist or psychologist?" "Have you ever had counseling?" Many employers consider the words "therapy" or "psychological" counseling on a job application form to be a red flag, suggesting a potential mental problem. Answering no to such questions, lying or deceiving a prospective employer upfront, even before being hired, always produces less-than-desirable results—often after you get everything (money, health, and happiness) going great. The consequences of lying are how we teach ourselves about the correlation between personal integrity and results.
A coach operates from the premise that throughout childhood we were all supposed to have had mutually satisfying conversations about "specific" topics at certain ages.1 Those of us who have yet to have these specific conversations are said to be incomplete—our integrity is out—something is either missing, or something (a belief) has been added.2
Note: With 44+ years as a leadership-relationship communication-skills coach I have not needed more than a three-hour session to locate the source of another's problem, whereas therapists usually schedule many sessions.3
Through conversations with a coach one is able to recall the very first breakdown in communication, the specific interaction (the incomplete) that keeps producing life's undesirable results. A coach ensures that you intend to disappear the problem, as opposed to talking about it or trying to figure out why. For example: If you're interacting daily with an abusive partner (all abuse is equally co-created) a coach will advise you to estrange yourself from the relationship before your coaching appointment, rather than live the lie—that you're not responsible for, that you are not unconsciously intending, the abuse. Your present leadership-communication skills cause abuse—there are no exceptions.
1 "certain ages" Around age 10 parents are supposed to tell their child that they'll soon start to feel sensations in their vagina/penis, even when sleeping. Boys are supposed to be told that if they play with their penis for a while (using the word masturbate) they will spurt (using the word cum) a fluid, containing sperm; it's called ejaculate. Mother: "I'll keep a box of tissues on your bed-stand to catch the ejaculate (it's usually no more than a few tablespoons). Some boys do it once in a while, other boys do it every day; some who don't have a part-time job or house chores do it two or more times a day." And, "From now on I'll always knock on the door to the bathroom or your bedroom." Dad is supposed to relate his childhood experiences and introduce the boy to words such as jacking/jerking-off, beating-off, and how embarrassing it was in school to be asked to stand and give an answer when you have an erection, a hard-on—it's one of those "specific" topics.
2 "added belief" A belief, such as my father is more abusive than my mother, or my mother starts the arguments, affects ones relationships for life. Both lies reveal a misunderstanding about the definition of the word responsible.
3 "many session" If your problem is about abuse going on between you and your partner, a therapist/counselor will usually schedule another appointment and send you home to the same environment with the same leadership-communication skills that produces the abuse; whereas a coach, will not schedule another consultation until you have not interacted with them for six-months in a row. You don't have the leadership-communication skills to change/heal them and, the love you profess is not love; love is intending for another to be as they are being and to communicate as they do.
Last edited 8/13/21