When a parent asks their child why they spilled the milk the parent accidentally (unconsciously) sets up the child to lie; the lie (that specific lie) has undesirable consequences for both the child and the parent—it keeps both at same level of consciousness*—often for life. It doesn't even matter if you believe that all lies and all truths, that even the unconscious ones, don't have an effect; your beliefs get in the way of you seeing the truth.
When a boss asks an employee why they were late the employee often uses what's worked before for similar broken agreements—of forgetting to set the alarm, of getting stuck in traffic, of car problems (all acceptable "reasons" but not the truth). See example:**
The asker in both of the above scenarios is implying that there is a truth; the employee knows that he/she can draw from a list of reasons that have worked before. With children it's usually, "I dunno" and then silence. The employee also knows, from his/her experience during the job interview, that the boss will accept typical high school answers—read: Communication Tips for Managers "Job Application Form")
When the mind is asked why it did (or did not do) something, it (the mind), experiences immediate confusion. This confusion happens within a nano-second of being asked; during the next nano-second comes the shocking realization, "I don't know." or the thought, "Am I supposed to know?" In the next few seconds the mind scrambles to manufacture a satisfying answer. At some level of consciousness it (both the mind and the all-knowing self) knows that reasons are not the truth. Reasons are a smoke-screen so as to not have to address the truth, the source of the behavior.
The source of the above boss-employee integrity issue:
To get to the source of, the cause, of undesirable results we begin with a manager's responsibility, for failing to communicate the work hours. If not, we get stuck blaming the employee for a result the manager produced using her/her leadership-communication skills (read: The Homework Story).
Employees have no choice other than to mirror their boss's integrity—at home and at work.***
- The truth would be, "I can give you a few reasons if that will satisfy your mind, however, you need to know that there is no truth. I'm assuming you won't be satisfied with the koan that acknowledges the truth, "I did it because I did it."
* "level of consciousness" The parent anchors an inaccurate (unenlightened) point of view in their child, the very same point of view that supports teachers in accepting reasons and excuses.
** "see example" Most bosses expect a believable answer to the question, "Why are you late?" Such a "stupid" question begs an excellent reason/excuse; it reveals that the boss is unconscious, not in present-time, not here-and-now.
*** "at home and at work" If a boss is often late for appointments or is frequently verbally abusive to his/her spouse, or is involved in deceptions or infidelity, so too will he/she attract employees with similar incompletes (integrity issues). There are no exceptions to this phenomenon.
Last edited 4/21/21