If your child has a problem waking up, if you have to re-awake him/her several times, if he/she doesn't greet each day with excitement (assuming he/she used to get up full of energy)1 — then, your child is non-verbally communicating that something is bothering him/her. it could be a physical/mental/nutrition problem, however, read the following before you take them to a doctor.
Premise: Most people began having a problem waking up after a specific incident, an interaction, a communication, that was not mutually satisfying. The incident is referred to as an incomplete. Incompletes sap consciousness and energy until they are completed. A child can't be-with a teacher if he/she is dragging around incompletes; incompletes serve as barriers to comprehension and creativity. Sleep does not restore ones integrity; if ones integrity is out then sleep can be restless or not energizing.
Specifically, your child is most likely dramatizing an upset, a withhold, a significant thought that's being withheld, possibly a fear or a good or "bad" deed2 that has yet to be verbally acknowledged. It's usually an automatic unconscious reaction to the integrity of the relationship between you and your partner, the verbal/non-verbal/psychic fights. Perhaps your child tried to restore the love that once was and failed.3 A child's mind comes to believe that he/she is cause for the fights, that it's hopeless; it's no fun waking up to sullen, grumpy, fighting parents, parents who have become stuck doing their imitation of communication, parents who argue abusively.
Note 1: It's virtually impossible to go back to sleep when you hear laughing and giggly aliveness in the kitchen. One is automatically driven to join happy conversations, whereas one avoids more-of-the-same grumpy energy-sapping interactions.
Note 2: Many of us can recall a school morning in which we feigned illness because of fear of something, [a school bully, didn't want to face someone, didn't do our homework, a racial incident, etc.].
Recall the last time your child woke up happy and energetic after which you had a hard time waking him/her. You're looking for a specific incident that remains incomplete, for you and your child. Your mind might have a difficult time recalling such an incident because it could be stuck in blame/guilt mode. The first incident could be hidden under layers of incompletes; it could also be that he/she overheard something frightening that portends a divorce, ergo the following advice:
One way to discover what your child has been dramatizing is for you to do The [free] Clearing Process for Professionals. In other words, your child is mirroring your integrity. Once you restore your integrity you will be a safe space for certain truths to be told.4 Then you can do The [free] Clearing Process for Parent and a Young Person with your child. Do a clearing with your child first before you take them for a medical exam.
Note 3: It could also be that you're having a hard time having (as opposed to "getting") him/her to go to sleep; this can easily be resolved with the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen. The free process allows a child to sleep guilt-free. P.S. No sugar for evening meals.
1 The same advice applies to you. If you're not waking up alive and refreshed then you are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone significant. Your child experiences the negative non-verbal and psychic vibrations between you and your partner. If he/she has always had a hard time waking up then read Womb-mails—emails for expectant parents.
2 For example: Your mother asked, "Did you brush your teeth? and you answered, "Yup." And, you've never acknowledged (verbally cleaned up) that specific lie to yourself or her. Before the lie you were in-integrity, then you added guilt and fear (of getting caught) to your mind. Sleep that night was not the blissful restorative sleep of being in-integrity; you tried to restore your energy but the lie had an effect; since then you've been trying to make life work thinking you got away with that lie and all other perpetrations. Your mother was unconscious and couldn't hear your lie so it has been affecting her results throughout life as well.
3 A child believes that he/she is the cause for their parent's fights. They can recall each time they misbehaved after which a "fight" took place. No matter what words you use to try and convince your child— "It's not you. We absolutely love you. It's mommy and daddy." —they know that if they were a truly loving person they would inspire love; they know that if "God" came to visit for a week that you two would be more loving. All parents of Columbine-type shootings report that they had "No idea...." —they were completely unaware that they had not been in-communication with their teen. Children misbehave, fail, or even get sick to draw to anyone's attention (teachers, social workers, neighbors or police) that they are not in-communication with anyone.
4 Have you told your child that masturbation is normal and healthy? Have you placed a box of tissues on the bed-stand? Or, does your child walk around with energy-sapping guilt, believing that they are a sick and bad person?
5 If a child was abusive earlier that day (say they hit another) and have not been acknowledged for that specific abuse (if it appears they got away with it) then the child can't sleep the peaceful sleep of wholesomeness of someone who is in-integrity. Remember, if you are withholding a significant thought from your spouse then you have caused him/her to withhold a significant thought from you—therefore you have already taught your child to withhold thoughts from you. A child has no choice other than to mirror the integrity of his/her parents—including acting like a person of integrity.
Additional supportive topics:
Womb-mails—emails for expectant parents
Conversations to have with your parents
About the four kinds of child abuse
Child (fetal) abuse during pregnancy
Last edited 1/4/24