One of the many benefits of having a teen is that you always have a clean car and clean house windows, chores that truly deserve an allowance. Aside from teaching your teen to do complete work The Clean Window Assignment is an excellent way of discovering withholds and upsets between you and your teen.*
I didn't learn how to clean anything until I joined the Navy where they issued me a brand new white hat and ordered me to make it whiter . I learned how to clean windows and wax cars with a new 1960 shiny black VW. Note: I had never been supported in doing complete work until I was 32 (after leaving the Navy and the Army).
Few people have ever completely cleaned a window. The word "completely" is redundant, however, I want to bring to the front of the mind, before you try teaching your teen how to clean a window, the difference between clean and the appearance of clean (with its nearly invisible film). The nearly invisible film usually appears in low light or, as with a windshield, temperature changes/fog.
You begin (perhaps the day before) with cleaning both sides of the fixed non-sliding portion of a sliding glass door. You will discover and demonstrate that it can be done. Then you can assign your teen the job of cleaning both sides of the sliding part of the door or, both sides of one smaller window. Instruct them to let you know when they have cleaned it. When he/she says they're done, you'll see that it has streaks and smudges; ask if he/she can see them. Get a verbal yes. Most likely they will get upset. Get the upset. Don't argue or make him/her wrong. Just say, "I got your upset and your considerations—please let me know when you've cleaned the window."
Then, they'll probably try a quick fix (minus an intention to have it be clean) and they'll come and get you again. You'll find the streaks and smears and again ask him/her if they can see them. You might have to wait for morning or evening-light for the smears to reveal themselves. If you give up and accept less than clean, you will have rewarded sneakiness and mediocrity—a con they'll pay for, for life.
Parents can use windows to train children to do complete work. My daughters could clean windows at 9-years-old. Do not offer suggestions about how or what to use. It's called discovery-learning. Clean has to do with intention. A blind person can clean a window. A window has a specific feel when it's clean. Usually with a windshield the smears don't show until night or unusual temperatures or fogging. P.S. They must discover, on their own, without your "help" that newspaper coats glass with a micro-thin film of ink (similar to the film of vinyl dashboard off-gassing on a car's windshield).
To create space for your child to maintain his/her integrity (to empty his/her mind of all thoughts you have been causing him/her to hide from you) you must first do The Clearing Process and then you can do the Clearing Process for a Parent and Child. The reason you must clear first is that when you are dragging around deceits and unacknowledged perpetrations (perhaps something you are hiding from your parents or partner) others can't be "completely" honest with you; children have no choice other than to mirror the integrity of their parents.
* If your child requires acknowledgment (for good deeds or perpetrations) they will predictably get upset when you insist upon them doing complete work (not the healthy normal 10-second kind of anger, but the longer dramatized inappropriate anger). If pouting and dramatizations have worked before, to get you off their back, they will try pouting or door slamming or going to bed without supper. It depends upon your willingness to support them in doing complete work—upon your intention to have a clean window.
Last edited 1/9/24