Dear Gabby

#10 Mom doesn't support my mixed racial marriage / Should I continue to make my mother wrong?

Dear Prudie: I’m in this great relationship. I couldn’t ask for anything better. I have a guy with a great personality, great physical appearance and a great job (and future). Even his parents love me!...

#53 How can I help a friend in an abusive relationship? / Am I addicted to enabling, abuse, and drama?

Dear Community Communications: i have a good friend that i care deeply for. However I think no let me rephrase that i know she is in an abusive relationship. I am very concerned about her as...

#35 Thoughts about crying after sex / Am I destroying my new relationship?

Ask Dr. Drew:

Q: I’ve been seeing a man for several months, and it’s been going well. Recently though, I’ve been having a tremendous urge to cry after sex. I have felt rejected in the past after being intimate with...

#90 Grandpa’s expressions of affection—appropriate? / Husband & mother-in-law communication problem

Dear Annie: I am concerned about my father-in-law’s behavior toward my 3-year-old daughter, his only grandchild. My mother-in-law thinks it is endearing that Al is so smitten with his grandchild....

#34 Should I marry man whose stepfather is a pedophile? / Intend now to master communication or back off?

Dear Prudie: I have been dating “Troy” for just over a year. We are not engaged but have talked about marriage and children. Here’s the problem: His stepfather is an ex-convict. His crime?...

#102 Visit to grandparents' bores teenagers / Time for additional communication skills

DEAR ABBY: Our parents make my sister and me go with them to visit our grandparents one Saturday a month. They live two hours away. We don't like having to waste our Saturday this way. My sister and I are 15...

#75 Rejection common for HIV-positive singles / Rejection impossible when committed to service

Dear Abby: Your advice for the attractive HIV-positive young woman was perfect if the world was perfect—but it’s not. As a middle-aged gay man, HIV-positive for 15 years, my status should shock no...

#76 Request for job interview self-confidence tips / What's the source of my timid act?

Dear Abby: I interviewed today for my dream job and have been asked back for a second interview. My problem is, the interviewer was borderline about recommending me because I came across as timid. I know I’d...

#73 Dad fears lazy girlfriend will be lazy wife / Son dramatizing disrespect of dad

Dear Abby: My 25-year-old son, “Mitch,” and his live-in girlfriend, “Mimi,” just became engaged, and I’m really worried. They met in college, where Mimi admits she went to “get her MRS.”

When Mitch took a job in...

101 Family feud causing strain at school where both mom and son work / How do I mend relationship with son?

Dear Annie: For the past year, our son and his wife of three years have chosen not to be part of our family. We all made mistakes, but anything we do now is interpreted as evil. He refuses...

#100 Friend won’t take sides in couple’s fights / Am I enabling them in abusing each other?

DEAR ABBY: I am close friends with a couple I'll call Angie and Gil. I met them at the same time and have always been unattached while they are a married couple. This didn't matter, and we hit it off...

#99 Should I mend relationship with my sister? / How much coaching to heal my addiction to blaming?

DEAR ABBY: Fourteen years ago, when my daughter was 4, my older sister, “Jennifer,'' was visiting. She was conversing with people at my dinner table, and my 4-year-old daughter was seated next to...

#98 Secret about girlfriend's incest / The effects of my promise?

Dear Annie: My friend, “Zoe,” and I are both 16. We met this past year. On one of our first nights hanging out together outside of school, Zoe confessed that she had been severely sexually abused by her father from the time she...

#97 Dating woman great, except for her immature children. / Am I that immature?

Dear Annie: I've been dating Bonnie for six months, and it's been great. We really are ideal for each other. We are in love, and it all seems too good to be true.

The problem is that I'm the first person Bonnie has...

#96 Mom-in-law fed up with accusations of playing favorites / Am I causing this disrespect?

Dear Annie: I have two sons - Roger, who is married with three young children, and Max, who has a baby. Max isn't married to the mother yet, but they live together and will be getting married soon. I...

#95 Guilty about not loving stepchildren / Another way to communicate that produces love?

Dear Abby: As a licensed marriage and family therapist, a licensed professional counselor and a stepparent, would like to offer some information to Ashamed in the South” (10/7) that might ease her mind.

She...

#94 Woman confused by desires to cheat / Is my deceit causing problem to persist?

Dear Annie: I have been in a serious relationship with Clark for over two years. He's the man of my dreams, and I love him more than words can say. We are open, honest and loyal to each other, and we get along...

#92 Fiance's cheating may be a one-time thing / Did I intend his cheating?

Dear Margo. My live-in fiancé of two years had an affair. I threw him out, and he ended it. He went into therapy on his own; we also went as a couple. He swears I am the woman of his dreams and understands now that he...

#91 Guilt about not loving my stepdaughters / Imitation of communication not producing love

DEAR ABBY: I married the man of my dreams. We have a wonderful life together, and we just had a beautiful baby girl. My Husband was married before and has two children from his first marriage. They are...

#89 Pastor’s wife with a past could cause havoc

DEAR ABBY: Being a pastor of a church, I had to respond to the letter from Hates Hypocrites in Washington. She's the woman who discovered that the new associate pastor's wife, Millie, is the same woman who broke up her marriage, in addition to...

#88 Single women wonder if they’ll find love / Genius working on self—sorting out priorities

DEAR ABBY: Several of my friends and I were bemoaning our status as single women in our late 20s/early 30s, and discussing an article we had read in The New York Times about how smart women are less...

#87 Abusive behavior passes from father to son / Am I causing my husband to abuse my son?

Dear Abby: Last week, my 1-year-old son, Tommy, crawled up on the couch where his father, Monte, was resting. Tommy smacked his daddy in the face with a toy. Monte slapped Tommy back so hard he left a welt...

#86 Fed up with her ‘caring’ husband’s insensitive remarks / How did I cause this behavior?

Dear Annie: I’m a young-looking, middle-aged woman and recently married a man several years younger than I am. My figure is petite, and I am small-chested. Though he told me early in our relationship that...

#85 My son is ignoring me / How do I get into communication with my son?

Dear Annie: We have a 52-year-old married son. He and his wife didn't acknowledge our 55th wedding anniversary. When I asked him why, he said, “What's the big deal? I know if it were his wife's parents, it would have been a...

#84 Offended wife wants me to give up golf buddy / Am I forcing my wife to issue me an ultimatum?

DEAR ABBY: My wife, Sybil,' had a close friend, Maxine;' who recently offended her. Now she prefers to avoid the woman altogether.

Maxine's husband and I play golf together, and Sybil feels that I...

#83 What’s wrong with being serious? / Is my position invalidating my friends?

Dear Annie: I’d like to add my encouragement to “Stuck in Adulthood,” who says he is too serious, I am 16 and serious and, yes I am always told to “lighten up.” What’s wrong with being serious? Why can’t people say,...

#82 Should I tell stepfather that mom's cheating with dad?/ Give mom a chance to tell dad first?

Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old female with a serious dilemma. Three years ago, my parents divorced because my mom cheated on my father. I knew for two years that Mom was cheating, and I never said a...

# 81 Do I have to be nice to my boyfriend's family? / Am I enabling a victim?

Dear Annie: I am a sophomore in college and have been dating 'Andrew' for nearly six months. He lives with his father and stepfamily. There are several legal problems involving abuse in Andrew’s family. Social Services...

#79 Wife walked out on him but won't explain / Did I actually drive her out of my life?

Dear Prudence: My wife of five months has left me. One Sunday we were fine, and the next day she was gone. No call, no note, nothing. It has now been about a month, and she still won't talk to me. We never had...

#78 Faithful husband pays for wife's distrust / Am I a sneaky unconscious enabler?

DEAR ABBY: I am in a committed 10-year marriage with Cathy, a woman I love dearly. My problem is, Cathy doesn't trust me. Her ex-husband cheated on her, her father cheated on her mother, and I feel like I'm paying...

#56 Should I apologize to my ex? / Apologize? No! — Acknowledge? Yes.

Dear Carolyn: A relationship ended last summer in a nasty way and I said some really mean things to him. I mean REALLY mean. And what’s worse is that I did love him (and still do), but he made the terrible choice of going back...

#77 Awkward moment at funeral stirs concern / Neighbor's death revealed my unconsciousness

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I went to a funeral to pay our respects to our neighbor and his family for the loss of his father. I had met the parents on a few prior occasions; my husband had not.

As I was...

#38 Wife is attracted to wrong husband / What will it cost me to tell the truth?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with “Joyce and Dave” for many years. Our children are the same ages and go to school together. We have always enjoyed each other’s company.

I find myself increasingly...

#28 How to get over anger of niece stealing my husband? / Ex-wife stuck lying about her unconscious intentions

DEAR ABBY: I was married for 19 years when my niece, Gwen, announced at a family cookout on Mother’s Day that she and my husband, Budd, were having an affair.

We have since divorced and...

#25 Wedding 'hostess' worked too hard, bails / Hostess sets up bride to complete a previous upset

DEAR ABBY: I was recently asked to be a hostess in a wedding. When I asked the bride what exactly my duties would be, she said I would pass out programs and make sure that all the wedding guests...

#67 Breast obsessed boyfriend wants me to get implants / Should I spend money on implants or therapy?

Dear Abby: My boyfriend is obsessed with large breasts and constantly hints that I should enlarge my 34Cs. Lately he has been coming home late and telling me that he's been working overtime,...

#15 Daughter-in-law is abusive to my son / Did I trained my son to abuse and be abused?

DEAR ABBY: My problem is my daughter-in-law, Marla, and the verbal abuse she heaps on my son, Jack. She belittles him in front of me and the children on a daily basis. All my life I listened to my own mother...

#49 Girl wants friend to stop smoking pot / Pot not source of problem

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, “Bette,” is one of the nicest, smartest teens you’ll ever meet. I enjoy her company, we get along great, and we have a lot in common. She’s also my role model, since I’m two years younger than she is....

#3 Boyfriend dragging feet on long road to alter / Girlfriend blaming boyfriend

Dear Prudence: I have been with Bob for almost five years, and living with him for almost two of those years. We plan to spend the rest of our lives together and look forward to purchasing a house together. However,...

#68 Should I warn my ex's new girlfriend? / Would ratting on my ex-boyfriend be an act of spite?

Dear Abby: My boyfriend of 2 ½ years, Neil, broke up with me last August. At the time I couldn't understand why he suddenly changed so drastically. Early in our relationship he had been accepting of...

#30 Boyfriend abusing our new baby daughter / Mother caught in lies, blaming, and addiction to abuse

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, Mickey, and I had a baby two months ago. Mickey made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t feel ready to be a father. While I was pregnant, he seemed to be excited...

#26 His fiancée's chronic tardiness concerns him / She is mirroring his ignorance and out-integrity

Dear Annie: I am marrying Monica next month. All signs are go except for one small concern of mine.

Monica misses or arrives late to work between five and 10 days every month. She usually explains...

#40 Can’t get husband to appreciate me / My communication-leadership skills don’t inspire appreciation

Dear Annie: I have been married to “Steven” for 23 years. We both work full time now, although we have a traditional marriage and for many years I was a stay-at-home mother. Our 21-year-old...

#20 Wife's hubby admits his affair—with her mom / I set it up for my mother and husband to deceive me.

DEAR ABBY: When I was a child I developed a huge crush on Mickey, a young man who worked for my mother. As I grew older, the crush grew to love. Twenty-six years later, I am still very much in...

#17 I'm not happy with my nice husband / I think my husband is the source of my dissatisfaction

Dear Prudence: I have been married for six years. I have a nice man for a husband and a wonderful child. But of course, I am not satisfied with my life. I say this because I married my husband when I...

#55 Husband refuses to kick drug habit / I'm addicted to making my husband wrong

Dear Annie: I had a marijuana habit since my teens and recently decided to quit. It's no longer something I enjoy, and I cannot reach my goals I plan to achieve in life if I continue to smoke pot. I haven't used for...

#18 What is it about women who steal husbands? / Cheating reveals an unacknowledged intention of the victim.

Dear Pru: What is it with women and married men? If he’s married, he’s not available. Now if a married man says, We are divorcing, but the final documents haven’t been signed, that’s...

#11 Teen feels pressure to lose virginity / Should I keep conning my boyfriend into asking for sex?

Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl in high school, and I’m having troubles with boys. There’s a lot of pressure to have sex, and it’s often overwhelming.

I’ve been seeing Jason for six months. I...

#10 Mom doesn't support my mixed racial marriage / Should I continue to make my mother wrong?

Dear Prudie: I’m in this great relationship. I couldn’t ask for anything better. I have a guy with a great personality, great physical appearance and a great job (and future). Even his parents love me!...

#75 Rejection common for HIV-positive singles / Rejection impossible when committed to service.

Dear Abby: Your advice for the attractive HIV-positive young woman was perfect if the world was perfect—but it’s not. As a middle aged-gay man, HIV-positive for 15 years, my status should shock no...

#45 Anonymous letter my husband is having an affair / Am I unconsciously intending this drama?

Dear Prudence: I received a letter informing me that my husband was having an affair. The letter was unsigned and offered no proof. The letter did not mention a specific woman by name but described...