Dear Gabby

Dear Ann Landers : My father and I have never had a good relationship. He was abusive to me as a child but I forgave him. I thought he had changed and we were finally on our way to trusting each other. I was even beginning to like him.

I adopted a son last year, and my parents offered to baby-sit...

Dear Abby: I have planned my last party. Out of 45 invitations mailed out, we had three RSVPs! The invitations clearly stated a date by which we needed a response, and still only a tiny percentage complied.

My husband and I would not have been as upset if those 42 people had called with their...

Dear Ann Landers: I am 62 years old, and my wife, Emily, is 60. We have been married for 35 years and have two children, several grandchildren and a good, solid family life together.

A few weeks ago, Emily confessed that she had a seven year affair during our marriage. The affair ended 25 years...

After being hit by my wife I wanted to understand why she would do this. I read your #65 letter and found it interesting. Your article seems to say that I caused it. To be honest, I got upset with her over something minor, but this in no way warranted being hit, swore at and having things thrown at...

DEAR ANN LANDERS: Please settle a disagreement. It could save my relationship.

Recently I attended a business conference with my boss and received a call on my cell phone from my boyfriend. I told him I couldn't talk and would call him back. He asked if my boss was here, I said, Yes, he's sitting...

Dear Prudence (Margo Howard): I am a 25-year-old African-American woman. I have been dating a wonderful guy (let’s call him James ) for the last two years. I say wonderful because he is by far the best boyfriend ever. We met in school and been inseparable ever since. I love him and know he loves...

Dear Annie: I have been dating Brittany for five years. We are both 22 years old and in love. I would like to propose. Do I need to ask her father for permission? If so, when do I do it? Groom-to-Be in Long Beach, Calif.

Dear Groom-to-Be: Well, aren’t you adorably quaint. These days dear you ask...

Dear Ann Landers : I separated from my husband a year ago. Victor was a drug user, and we fought constantly. We have two children, and I felt this was not a healthy environment for them. I am a private person and do not broadcast my personal business. Victor, however, talks openly to everybody. He...

DEAR ABBY: I have a sister I’ll call Lisa, who refuses to contact any of the family. Granted, for years she was physically abused by our father, our mother was cold and emotionally abusive, and I guess the family was unsupportive. But no family is perfect. Right?

Everyone in the family thinks Lisa...

Dear Abby: My husband, Nick, can't understand why our 10-year-old son, Tony, is hard of hearing when he talks to him. Maybe it's because Nick talks so loud that our son tunes him out.

I suggested that Nick ask Tony why he doesn't listen to him, but Nick gets mad at me and insists that he MUST...

Dear Abby: After 34 years of marriage, I learned that my husband was cheating with a woman three years older than our son.

The hurt was terrible and the embarrassment was horrendous. Not as much for me, but for people who did not know how to console me. With a death, friends can be sorry and there...

Dear Ann Landers: I adore my husband. We have been married for eight years and have two beautiful daughters. We feel our marriage is unique and that God brought us together. So, what is the problem? My husband would like sex every night. Once a week is enough for me. With two young children, I do...

Dear Ann Landers: I have been dating an attractive woman for several months, and we have a good relationship. There is one big problem, however. Lucinda smokes more than a pack of cigarettes a day.
When we first began dating, I told her I did not want to be in the company of anyone who smokes....

Dear Abby: My friend Natalie recently called to ask me to be in her wedding. I agreed, of course.

Abby, Natalie is making a huge mistake. They have nothing in common. He drinks a lot and smokes. She doesn't. He puts her down about her weight. She loves children. He doesn't. I could go on and on....

Dear Ann Landers: I was engaged to marry a man in Arkansas. Instead of a ring, he gave me a secondhand car that was in good condition because he knew I didn’t care for jewelry and needed transportation. I broke the engagement a few weeks ago when he informed me that we would have to live with his...

Dear Abby: My brother Pete is married to June, an opinionated big-mouth who never has a kind word to say to anybody. She frequently berates Pete and other members of our family. This behavior is disturbing to the entire family, especially to our mother.

My other brother, Seth, was sentenced to...

DEAR ABBY: My 79-year-old father visits our home and loves to work on projects like trimming bushes and repairing things. He gets very sweaty and takes frequent breaks by coming in the house and sitting in his favorite chair, my cherished fabric covered recliner. After his visits my chair smells of...

Dear Abby: I love my boy friend very much, but he's not affectionate in any way. When I ask him if he loves me, he gets angry. He told me that he said he loved me once, and after that, he shouldn't have to repeat it. He says he wants an independent woman who makes no demands.

Abby, I enjoy his...

Dear Ann Landers: I'm a gay man who reads your column regularly. Now I need your advice. Tom and I are in our 30s and have been partners for six years. Janet, Tom's sister, has invited me to her wedding. Tom's mother, however, sees this as strictly a family event and has told Tom that she would...

Dear Ann Landers: I have been married for 11 years to a terrific guy, Chad is a devoted husband and wonderful father. He is also a hard worker and a kind loving person. One thing about him disturbs me—he's not very good-looking.

I realize this makes me seem shallow, but I can't help it. Chad has a...

Dear Abby: I'd like to pose a question. A man is dying. If I went to visit him, he would be delighted to see me. Even though I haven’t seen him in years, it would bring back happy memories for him. Neither his wife nor his children know that I exist.

After much soul-searching, I have decided that...

#16 Husband won't get vasectomy / Upset with husband's plans for widowhood

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have two children, ages 16 and 13. We have agreed to not have any more children. I would like to enjoy a healthy sex life without the hassle of birth...

#18 Grandmother concerned about donor deceit / My child mirrors my dishonesty

DEAR ABBY: My son (I'll call him Michael) was very ill with cancer at age 15, and as a result he became sterile from his chemotherapy treatments. Thank the good Lord he has made a complete recovery. However, when he...

Dear Ann Landers: That letter you printed about the woman whose fox fur became caught in a man's zipper reminded me of something that happened to me back in the '30s.

I took a plane trip back home to visit my mother. In those days, we traveled in our best clothes, with hat and gloves. I happened...

Dear Ann Landers: I am not a famous politician or a member of the British royal family. I'm just one of the millions of women you have written about over the years who cheated on their husbands.

I was luckier than most. I have a wonderful man who was able to forgive me. We have two beautiful...

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my early 40s, and I been involved with Rick for so many years I have lost count. He has been separated from his wife since before I met him, but he has not divorced her. Rick is at my place all the time except when he sees his son. Neither his son nor any of his family...

Dear Ann Landers: I am happily married to a very good man, but for the last several months, I have been fantasizing a lot. I daydream about making love to a refrigerator repair man, a young life guard at the beach and a potential employer who is interested in a combination secretary-playmate. All...

Dear Ann Landers: For the last 18 months, I have been dating a man in his early 40s who has never been married. Things were going well until I discovered by opening one of his phone bills that he had been having phone sex.

It didn't seem to be all that bad until I started to call the numbers that...

DEAR GABBY: Is this serious? It's not funny enough to be a joke. It does seem ridiculous, though. You take the enabler thing a bit far. In these letters you implicate a man in causing his wife's affair, for no good reason as far as I can tell. Just my feedback, but it seems as if things are mighty...

Dear Ann Landers: I've been reading your column for years, but never dreamed that one day I would write to you. I am hoping you will print my letter so my husband will see it. I know he reads your column every day, and I'm not getting my point across.

Pat seems to be drinking more beer than ever,...

DEAR ABBY: I recently transferred to a new office, and I have never seen so many people who are experts on what should or shouldn't be done. They post signs everywhere: Do Not Move Coffeepot While Coffee Is Brewing, Do Not Use This Door Except For Emergencies, Do Not Throw This or That Into The...

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old former college soccer player, now coaching a girl's high schools team in California. This is my first coaching job and for some reason, some of the girls on the team are flirting with me and looking very suggestive.

When a girls gives me that look. I'm both troubled...

Dear Ann Landers: I am having a problem with my next-door neighbor. When I moved into this condo two years ago, Martha was very friendly. I felt comfortable having packages delivered to her if I was not home. We were cordial but not chummy. And that's the way I wanted it.

That changed a few months...

DEAR ABBY: I witnessed a theft and told a teacher, who promptly informed the cops. I feel terrible about it—like I’ve betrayed the friend who did it. What should I do? —WONDERING IN FLORIDA

DEAR WONDERING: First, forgive yourself. You did the right thing. While your friend may not appreciate it...

Dear Ann Landers: Two weeks ago, I walked in on my 17-year-old daughter having sex with her boyfriend, Justin. They will both be 18 in two months. They are good kids and plan on going to college together next year. I knew it would be pointless to lecture them, because as you so wisely said in your...

Dear Ann Landers: I have been dating Clive for five years. He is intelligent, a great conversationalist, fun, generous and has a great sense of humor. He gets along well with my family, and I am quite content.

Here's the problem: Two years ago, Clive admitted he had slept with another woman after...

Dear Ann Landers: I am 23 years old and have been dating Charles for eight months. We are quite serious and contemplating marriage.

After a heartfelt conversation yesterday, Charles informed me that his parents expect his bride to sign a prenuptial agreement, which would bar me from recovering any...

#43 Mother urged to discuss issue with daughter / Get thee to a communicologist

Dear Ann Landers: Last week, while cleaning my 19 year-old daughter’s bedroom, I came across material that made me think she has had an abortion. I was devastated. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, but this was...

#46 Happy except for wife's sex problem / Blame wife for my intercourse skills

Dear Annie: I am a 37-year-old man who has been happily married for two years, except for one thing—my sex life. When I first met “Stella,” my heart was taken. We agreed, however, to wait until we were married to have...

#48 Concerns about my boyfriend's friends / Abuse addict blaming boyfriend

Dear Prudie: Can two people have a long-lasting relationship if one of them doesn’t like the other’s friends? My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We love each other. However, I don’t like his friends....

#27 Son's supermarket temper tantrum? / Son mimics how I use anger to get my way

DEAR ABBY: My three-year old son recently threw a tantrum in a large department store. I had called a time-out and he started yelling and screaming.

I picked him up and started for the car. All the while, he cried...

#39 Waiting for guys to ask me out / Positionality broadcasting warning signals

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl, raised to be old-fashioned. I am very uncomfortable with how the rules of courtship have changed over the years. It used to be that guys pursued the girls. Now, the situation has...

17# Telephone solicitor upset about rudeness / Rude behavior begetting rude behavior

Dear Abby: I work for a telephone research firm. I haven't been working for this company for very long, but I have already found that most people have terrible phone etiquette.

We are taught to be polite to...

#15 Will bisexual husband go straight? / How did I cause husband to deceive me?

Dear Abby: The pain I am feeling is so great it doesn't allow me to even cry. I have been married to my second husband for more than 17 years. This week I found out that he is bisexual and has been having one-night...

#25 Should I tell daughter who real father is? / Should I teach daughter to deceive, or what?

Dear Ann Landers: Over 30 years ago, when I was divorced, I became pregnant by a married man. I will call him Ben. My ex-husband and I then remarried. He always believed this child was his, and he raised...

#23 Mother-daughter quarrel / Daughter creates mess and blames mother

DEAR ABBY: In my 32 years of living, I have spent every Christmas with my family. I am now in a serious relationship. My boyfriend and I recently decided to go skiing the Christmas during our short vacation time.

I called my...

#50 Son wants us to shun his ex-wife / Mother taught and rewards blame and spite

DEAR ABBY: My son is going through separation and divorce. It’s not a friendly one.

He is now serving in the military overseas. His wife and two children are here in the United States and live close to my husband...

#34 Father getting married again creating relationship problems / Unconscious saboteur

Dear Ann Landers: My parents were divorced when I was 5, and my father married another woman. Now, 15 years later, my father is getting another divorce.

Although I was never close to my stepmother, I did...

#48 Boyfriend talked about another girl during sex / Spontaneity missing from communication model

Dear Annie: I have been dating a wonderful man for about six months. Last night, while we were in middle of making love, Andy asked me if I thought his buddy’s girl friend was attractive. I was...

#14 How to leave impotent husband / Deceptor not safe space for truth to be told

Dear Ann Landers: I have been married (in name only) for five years. I was a lonely divorcee (age 47) and John was a well-to-do widower (60) when we were married.

The first night we were married I found out he was...