Here are two of the conversation topics:

1) To spank or not spank our children?

Just what are you going to do if your spouse hits/spanks your child? Perhaps you grew up in a household where spanking was not considered abusive so you might consider spanking appropriate, but only if necessary. Have you told your partner your beliefs about spanking?

Spanking is what a parent resorts to when he/she has lost their ability to produce a desired behavior lovingly through verbal communication. Children have no choice but to mirror the integrity of his/her parents, specifically, their leadership-communication skills. Misbehaving and unsatisfactory performance in school are how a child brings to the attention of his/her parents (eventually community authorities) that they (the parents) have lapsed into their imitation of communication. There are no exceptions to this phenomenon.

There is a way to communicate, a communication model, that creates a context at the beginning of a relationship so as to preclude the necessity of spanking.

2) Shall we have a prenuptial agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a document that defines the splitting of the possessions in the event of a divorce?

Is your mind open to conversations about a prenuptial agreement or have you unconsciously shut down the space for communication to take place? Does your partner know intuitively to not bring up the subject because he/she knows you'd use it as proof of lack of love/commitment?

 If you manipulate your partner (verbally/non verbally, especially after reading this tip) away from discussions about a prenup agreement you are unconsciously masterminding a contentious divorce.  If you read this and don't show it (not just relate what you remember about it) to your partner your deception will have an undesirable consequence. 

The profession of divorce attorneys reveals that most couples don't have conversations about "who gets what" prior to their engagement. Most women assume their partner agrees that the support-person, the one in-service to the other, the one who stays home and creates space for the other to generate income, deserves 50% of everything (read, Who gets what).

Perhaps you believe that if you can manipulate your partner into divorcing you (covertly cause them to cheat on you) that they will feel guilty and be more generous during the settlement. Shock is the price of arrogance.

If you discover some of your partner's solid beliefs too late it will be the beginning of the end of personal growth within the relationship.

If you are able to have these kinds of conversations before the marriage it will reduce the possibility of many arguments later. You will also discover if you or your partner are solidly entrenched in belief systems that will stop the experience of ever-expanding love that comes through communication.

The difference between "communication" and talking?

As a skilled talker you will begin destroying your relationship by withholding a thought, eventually causing your partner to shut down, to withhold certain thoughts, worse, you'll drive him/her into the arms of another and blame your partner for the deception.

(Last edited 2/23/21)