Here's the definition of the word abuse that we'll be using throughout the tutorial.

a) Any interaction, any communication (verbal, nonverbal, physical, or psychic), that detracts from the aliveness, well-being, or serenity of another.*

b) A way of acting (communicating), to include silence, withholding the truth or parts of it, avoiding (not answering/misdirecting) a question, frowning, pouting, smirking, stink-eye, rolling-eyes, thwarting, insulting, putting down, invalidating, condescending, raised voice, frightening, upsetting, shocking, yelling, screaming, jabbing, pushing, shoving, jerking, grabbing, yanking, pulling another's arm in upset, spanking, slapping, bringing to one's senses with a loving firm slap, hitting, punching, or kicking and the ubiquitous "Whatever."

* What determines if an abuse causes lasting damage—to both the abuser and the recipient—is, if the abuse is not immediately or later** verbally acknowledged to the recipient as being abusive. For example— Father: "Son, I get that my yelling at you earlier today didn't feel good." Period! Nothing else! Note: An acknowledgement is not an apology, a justification or an explanation.

** It's never too late to deliver an acknowledgment.

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