DEAR LOSING FAITH: The truth is, there are no guarantees that ANYONE (male or female) will land a mate. It isn't easy these days because people are commitment-phobic. And this applies to individuals at all economic and educational levels, not just you at the top. Pairing off is often a matter of luck and timing—being in the right place at the right time.

Eligible members of both sexes can be found in places of common interest places that are intellectually rewarding, culturally stimulating, athletically challenging or financially advantageous. As to whether you should downgrade your job level in order to appear less "threatening," I guarantee that if you don't take financial care of yourselves while you can you will regret it later. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you could fool some of the bachelors some of the time, but you couldn't fool all of them all of the time.

Hi Faith: Your use of the word "losing" is an unconscious affirmation for more of the same results. It indicates that you are not in present-time; it's an "I am" statement as opposed to, "I was, and am not now, nor do I plan to be . . . " You would not tell a client, "I'm losing faith that I will . . ."

Your use of the word "faith" indicates that you are at effect in your relationships. An actualized woman creates her own reality and communicates from that point of view. You communicate from a position of blame and victim. You assign results you've produced with your leadership-communication skills to outside causes, consequently, no actualized man would hang around you for long.

Re: "I have a feeling ..." One thinks thoughts and feels feelings.

Re: ". . . together . . ." Yes, you all have perfected an act. However, your act isn't working for you or your friends. How would someone you respect, specifically a female leader, describe your act?

If you could see you and your friends from across the room, bemoaning and complaining, you'd see in a nano-second why none of you are attracting that which you say you want. My sense is your laughter changes when you're together; it's hard to describe what that laugh sounds like but it's not attractive. It's much like the effect of the raucous laugh of a group of men (in their macho mode) pretending things to be funnier than they are, most often with an undertone of bawdiness. Your laughs carry an element of superiority and clique-like condescension—frequently an inside joke. I'm not saying to stop it, merely acknowledge that it has an effect.

More about your laughter: It's respectful to keep in mind that 50% of the distance between you and anyone is your space, if your sounds intrude into another's space then it is abusive. [I.e. Park musicians completely disregard the privacy, the sanctity of the space  of others—clearly oblivious of the consequences of premeditated abuse.] "Buskers" have permission from the store front owners.

BTW: Few conscious women go to bars looking for partners. Bars are where one goes to learn how to date, to recognize lies and cons. Your ideal ... might drink but they seldom go to bars. A woman who goes to a bar looking for a man seldom, if ever, introduces their date to their parents first before having sex. A man who would con you into conning both sets of parents so as to have sex the first night has yet to experience the correlation between their integrity and results.

Your letter is rhetorical. "We'd all like to find . . ." "But if we have to curtail. . ." ". . . how can a person . . . ?" Responsible questions would be, "I'd like to find . . ." "If I have to . . ." ". . . how can I . . . ?" I don't get that you are ready for your Mr. Right. Generalizing and lumping all women (or you and your friends) into a "status" reveals that you have yet to complete your experience of bemoaning, blaming, and complaining. Have you considered that your "friends" reinforce your present leadership-communication skills, your whole ground of being; the way you communicate that does not attract a wonderful partner. One way to tell if the communication model used within a support group (specifically your group) works is to look and see if everyone is manifesting his/her desired outcomes. Given that you are the ringleader of the group have you noticed the effect you're having on the others? I'm betting if you committed yourself to finding wonderful partners for your friends first then yours would appear. Or, hang around/support campaigners and politicians, those who thrive on complaining and blaming (...like minds attract?).

Have you allowed the possibility that unbeknownst to you your inner self is supporting you in not having a primary relationship partner, instead, perhaps a life of service? Mastery begins by intending what's so to be so.

A problem persists because there is a lie somewhere. You've been living a lie. The results your leadership-communication skills have produced clearly indicate that up until this letter you have only wanted a partner.  A want is a thought being considered as an intention. A valid test of one's intentions are the results. You have yet to formulate an intention to have Mr. Wonderful.

BTW: Preparing for Your Ideal Partner is quite the curriculum, it includes all sorts of awesome subjects such as intention, integrity, responsibility, cause, acknowledging, and support—it's about communication mastery. I suggest that you look at the possibility that there is an unconscious genius at work here. The fact that you have yet to materialize your ideal partner suggests that at some level you've known that you're not quite ready. It's possible that your self knows you wouldn't do any better raising a child than most everyone; presently you'd train him/her to moan and blame.

One way to create something is to complete something. It's much like what happens when you clean out your closet, donating all your old stuff to charity. Within months the closet is full once again only with clothes that more nearly reflect the you of today. The same can be done by completing relationships, specifically ones that are (or have been) less than mutually satisfying.

Your letter suggests that you don't have a mutually satisfying supportive relationship with your parents. I.e. What would each of your parents say is your relationship problem? My sense is that you also have one or more former boyfriends who are still healing from your communications. In other words, you have several incomplete relationships. One can't create a new relationship if they are dragging around incompletes (remnants) from previous unsatisfactory relationships. Most people don't know how to complete a relationship so they dump their old ones and start another one. The newer one ends up being pretty much like all the others. In fact most people use the same communication model that doesn't work with their parents, and their old lovers, with their new relationship, the very model (a way of being, thinking, and relating) that most likely resulted in a less-than-mutually-satisfying supportive separation/estrangement.

Question: Would every one of your former dates say they feel good about the money spent between you, that you have spent the same amount on others? Unconscious users create unique consequences. Few teen girls ever spend as much on boys, in part because they "let" the boy pay for the first date and, for reasons, don't go out on a second date.  No doubt "unfair" divorce settlements have something to do with dorment anger about dating experiences in general. It's hard to respect a woman who did not, during high school, ensure her own career in case of a divorce. A conscious educated woman always has the means to leave—in case of....

I recommend that you do The Clearing Process (it's free). You'll notice a remarkable difference in your clarity. That is to say, you are carrying around thousands of unacknowledged perpetrations, a lifetime of accumulated withholds, badmouthings, abuses, etc. What happens for most everyone who does the clearing process is they empty their mind on the first day thinking they got most of it. On day-two they notice that the previous layer of thoughts was hiding dozens more that the mind had conveniently "forgotten." This continues each day until you get to the biggies and the firsts—the very first lie, theft, badmouthing, shunning, and deceit—these are the incompletes that serve as barriers to manifesting your stated intentions. Reading About Lies and Lying and Reunion Conversations will help trigger memories of incompletes,

I suspect that the person you say you want (we don't know the gender yet) would not be able to survive in your business and social world. It would be virtually impossible for him/her to listen to your problems and to hear/witness what passes for ethical and responsible business practices without compromising their integrity. Rather than try to change you they would simply leave, silently.

Your ideal partner is out here, so quiet and plain-clothed that you would most likely pass them by. Such a partner will require that you initiate (introduce yourself and invite) the relationship given that your aura presently communicates "red flags."

Lastly, ask your recent relationship(s) what you need to address in support of creating a mutually satisfying positively-supportive relationship. —Gabby

Thank you for your willingness to share that part of you that is us. —Gabby
 

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Last edited 9/10/21