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Communication Tip

Originally written by Kerry for tutorial reference material, rewritten for Communication Weekly.

The Zen Master Dog-Poop Story

One morning a monk asked his Zen master, "Sir, will you teach me how to manifest an intention." The Zen master replied, "Sure. Sit down. I'll show you how to cause a dog to poop on that flat stone in the middle of the yard, on my command. How's that?" The monk said, "Way cool," or something like that. And they sat down.

As dusk approached, the novice said, "Sir, I donít mean to be rude, but you said . . ." The Zen master interrupted him and said, "Yes. And I will. Weíre waiting for a dog to poop on the stone. When it does, Iíll command it to poop."

To manifest a stated intention you must begin by intending what's happening to be happening, to choose whatís so to be so.*

To create something you must first know how to create nothing. Until you know how to create nothing, the space in which something is created, you can't be certain you are creating anything. Until you know how to create nothing life just happens.**

For example: For most divorced couples "love" at the beginning just happened; it was in fact a reaction to various chemicals generated within the body due to external sensory and emotional stumulus. We know this to be true because during the divorce process neither knew how to recreate the experience of loveóat will, simply through communication. Some, not all, later discover that they had become stuck, each doing his/her imitation of communication.

* If you frequently cause someone to be verbally abusive to you, you must be willing to acknowledge that you have been intending (albeit unconsciously) the abuse. Your mind will balk at accepting responsibility for causing (initiating/intending) the abuse because it (your mind) honestly believes that it wants harmony and peaceful discourse. The mind most always believes that the other person started it, that he/she is the more abusive. Not so. Never ever. It's impossible for one intimate partner to be more abusive than the otheróboth mirror each other's addiction to abusing and being abused. To complete your experience of abuse, of abusing and setting it up to be abused (referred to as entrapment), you must be willing to accept responsibility for causing it. i.e. "What's the genius in me up to? Of all the people on the planet I attracted, seduced, and conned into marrying me, someone addicted to abuse, someone whom I could manipulate into abusive interactions?"

** An excellent example of creating nothing so as to create space for something is to clean a closet. Donate those clothes than no longer represent the present-day you. Have in mind a result you'd like to manifest, else, like a spacious closet, you'll accidentally fill it with stuff that "happens" to come along rather than with a clear stated intention. You'll notice, as with many of your other possessions, that few if any, items of clothing are exactly what you had in mind when you went shopping; when we look in a closet it either confirms our ability to manifest our stated intentions or it reminds us of our compromises, all that we've accepted; most often when shopping we settle for other than exactly what what we say we want. Communication mastery begins with buying only exactly what you have in mind, of manifesting your stated intention.

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Check back occasionally for minor edits (last edited 8/17/14)

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