Communication-Skills Tutorial for Vets

 

Perpetrations:

 

As pertains to inter-personal/intra-personal communication a perpetration is anything you have done or not done for which you feel badly. In this context it has nothing to do with legality or the law. You may or may not be aware that you feel badly due to having so many other perpetrations. If someone else thinks it's a perpetration and you don't then it's not, at least not for you at this moment in time; it could be that you are/were simply unconscious.

 

For example: Most civilians are unconscious when they enter the military and so they deny or resist acknowledging and experiencing the unethicalness of killing—until they have participated in doing so. Later, as they continue on their spiritual path, they begin to experience compassion, often at home when they are trying to figure out why life's not rewarding them for their service. In the quiet of their mind they experience the profound realization that they have been dragging around (into each and every conversation with others) dozens of unacknowledged perpetrations.

 

Another example: Few vets ever acknowledge, both to themselves or verbally to anyone else, that they feel badly for having killed or supported or participated in the killing of another. They may feel badly but they have never told anyone, specifically, "I feel badly for . . ." Such a perpetration unacknowledged affects all present-day outcomes; communicating guilt non-verbally, via energy-sapping addiction/homeless-type melodrama, is irresponsible; it's controlling and abusive to those whom you manipulate into interacting with you daily. This tutorial supports you in acknowledging all such perpetrations, verbally or in writing, so that you begin to have choices again.

 

Some examples of perpetrations:

 

— Perhaps you feel badly for having stolen something and, you've hid the incident from everyone.

— Perhaps you've never told anyone that you cheated on an exam or in a relationship.

— Quite possibly you've led everyone to believe that you are an honest person yet you know you have been involved in deceptions.

— As a veteran you may have pushed to the back of your mind what you know to be true, that it's unethical to kill another; you invented reasons (or bought into other's reasons) to justify killing or destroying another's property. At the time your integrity was so out it didn't bother you enough to change your behavior. At that time it might not have been a perpetration for you.

— Some vets unconsciously get wounded so as to extract themselves from an unethical situation with acceptable honor; acknowledging any outcome responsibly, from cause, is transformational.

— Perhaps you lied to a date or classmate.

— You may have conned someone you were dating into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex.

— Quite possibly you now know that you thwarted the success of your penmanship teacher; now wondering why the "universe" thwarts you.

— Possibly you badmouthed conscientious objectors for refusing to participate in killing others.

—Possibly you initiated, or supported the trash-talking of LGBTs.

Examples for Men:


— Perhaps you now feel badly for treating girls condescendingly, as though they weren't capable of paying their own way.

— You may have supported a date in deceiving her parents.

— Perhaps you feel badly for having talked (manipulated-conned-pressured-forced) a girl into having sex, knowing full well she initially had said no.

— Possibly you thwarted another's relationship for sexual gratification.

— Possibly you have misrepresented yourself on a job application.


Examples for Women:

— Perhaps you feel badly knowing that you ran a con on most boys (conning them into paying your way); possibly you conned some teachers.

— Maybe you told your parents you were going to the library and have yet to acknowledge that lie to them, not realizing it's still having an effect. Each and every lie and truth you've told continues to have an effect. Arrogance is the belief that your communications don't have an effect on all others.

— You may feel badly for having unconsciously decided to not apply yourself in school, instead falling back on convention—to get married—to have another/welfare take care of you—rather than study for a career so as to be self-sufficient.

— Perhaps, because of your leadership-communication skills, you're now locked into an abusive/mediocre relationship with no apparent hope.

— You may have consciously/unconsciously decided to con your partner into impregnating you so as to have a child, knowing others would have to pay, thus revealing the contempt and disrespect you have for your neighbors. There are no "accidental" pregnancies.

— Possibly your high school clique excluded others in a hurtful way.

— You may have silently condoned the badmouthing of another.

 

The major negative effect of a perpetration is not just that you did it, but that you have hid it, from yourself, some specific person, or from everyone. You are in fact walking around with no one knowing the real you. That's OK. Everyone with whom you relate is hiding his/her item of choice from you. They too have become their "honest act." The effect is, your act is relating with everyone else's acts. I say "relating with" instead of "communicating with" because there is no experience of communication when there are withholds in a relationship; such interactions are referred to as talking. 

 

The negative karma of all (yes all) perpetrations can be disappeared through communication (The Clearing Process or journaling). Communication is different than talking. Speech-Communication Professors talk to education majors about communication; few get into communication with a student (although most believe they do) so as to positively affect a student's relationships—especially with his/her parents. i.e. Most students have one or more perpetrations they withhold from their parents; ergo, they are all stuck doing their imitation of communication with each other and everyone—usually for life.  i.e. Education majors, are not taught how to communicate subject matter (no excuses, no reasons), each must discover how to cause communication to take place—few become "teachers."
 

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Last edited 9/15/17
 

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