Incompletes:

One barrier to achieving and maintaining the experience of success, happiness, health, and love is the unacknowledged accumulation of life's unsatisfying interactions (verbal, non-verbal, and physical communications). Communication coaches refer to these incidents as incompletes—a communication you started and have not completed through to mutual satisfaction.

An incomplete can be a withhold, a perpetration, an acknowledgment, or any unresolved breakdown in communication.

When an incomplete is recalled (remembered), experienced, and communicated responsibly (from how you caused it) the incomplete no longer gets in the way of present-day conversations.

The word experienced is used to remind you that often in the heat of an argument one doesn't have a choice to not argue, they have in fact gone unconscious and their mind has taken over. They are not experiencing the moment, they are not in the now.

 

Unacknowledged refers to an incomplete that you have hid from yourself or another, one that you have not acknowledged to anyone. Use Reunion Conversations to locate/recall unacknowledged perpetrations/incompletes.

Life's less than satisfying conversations keep generating more of the same results in similar present-day situations because there is an unacknowledged lie having to do with one's memory of the first time it happened. The mind is not remembering a specific incident, a failed communication, an abusive interaction, accurately. The lie continues to have undesirable consequences.

One example of an incomplete might be that you shunned someone in school. Your memory of what happened might be considerably different. It's especially significant if you don't even remember doing it. In any case, it had a powerful effect. It's quite possible that the classmate has yet to recover from the experience of how you communicated with him/her. What's not so easy to see is that your unconscious abuse has had an effect on you as well, without you even being aware of it.

Another example: Possibly when you were young your father yelled at you and it didn't feel good. He never acknowledged later that he knew it was abusive. That incident remains an incomplete and affects your present-day communications.

Registered tutorial participants may post comments, feedback or questions on the free Vet's Forum.

Press Return to close this page, you'll be back where you linked from.