Communication-Skills Tutorial for Vets

 

Coaching-conversations:

A leadership-relationship communication-skills coach is someone who, with your permission, provides feedback in support of expanding your ability to create, have, and complete mutually satisfying conversations. Both you and the tutorial coach will be positively affected—for life.

 

A coach doesn't have a bunch of stuff to teach you; together you and the coach agree to tell the truth and, to use the same definition of the word responsibility—from which all conversations and results are generated. All breakdowns in communication between two can be traced to the fact that both are using his/her own definition of the word responsibility.

 

Most report that conversations with a coach are among the ones they remember for life—why? —because when communication takes place things are never the same; conversely, when talking takes place supposedly unwanted problems persist. The vet's tutorial works because it will be your intention for it to work. 

 

How you communicate (verbally, non-verbally, physically, and psychically) produces the results you’ve been producing—for yourself and all with whom you relate. If your spouse has unhealthy addictions, is lazy, or upset most of the time, if your child is misbehaving or failing in school, if your employees often do incomplete work, then it has something to do with your present leadership-communication skills. It's never ever the other person.

 

A coach has the ability to accurately mirror how you come across to others, what you communicate without knowing it. If others perceive you as being self-righteous, judgmental, and arrogant then the coach will mirror your arrogance for you;* and, most likely you will have no choice other than to automatically, accurately, judge the coach to be judgmental and arrogant.wink A coach will provide certain feedback that friends and family, throughout your life, have tried and failed to communicate to you. When communication takes place undesirable behaviors such as automatic angry reactions begin to disappear.

 

All schools (high schools, colleges, universities and academies) merely introduce one to the fundamentals and principles of communication. The communication model taught to education and health care majors nationwide (emulated by most graduates) is the very same model that produces broken agreements, blaming, thwarting, badmouthing, messy expensive divorces;  25% of our nation's college  freshman require remedial courses because teachers fail to communicate subject matter. Education majors do not undergo Leadership Training (classes, courses, seminars, workshops, continuing education courses, YES, Trainings, NO).  A PFC,  corporal, or seaman has more leadership training than most teachers. Communication mastery is an entirely different curriculum.**

 

* When you are accurately mirrored, with compassion, you have a direct experience of yourself, of what it's like for others to talk with you; it's an experience that affects you for life.  I say "talk" because "communication" cannot take place in a mind occupied with solid beliefs (thoughts believed to be true). A belief closes the mind to possibilities. i.e. Ever try to have a mutually satisfying conversation with a police officer about the ethics of sting operations? The mind automatically spars self-righteously with any position that threatens its reality.

**
Educations paid for by tuitions/tax-money presently don't offer communication mastery curriculums; most all students in such a course threaten or actually quit. Cons and abusive controlling temper-tantrums that have worked with parents and others don't work with a coach.*** Restoring and maintaining ones integrity, and completing one's addiction to dramatizing anger, includes observing and completing child-like behaviors such as quitting and temper-tantrums. Schools cannot afford to have students quit.

*** A coach can "see through your act." Why? Because a coach, like many parolees, has, "been there and done that." For myself it's been 44-years of listening to thousands of people share their withholds, including their experience of me, with me. Such truths eventually sink in (get gotten) —I finally got that I can be an asshole. This coach has abused, been abused, conned, manipulated, lied, cheated, divorced, stolen, and even killed (Vietnam) as well as having accomplished all sorts of admirable remarkable things (about the coach). It could be said that I am "Everyman" as portrayed in the medieval morality play of the same name.  In other words, there are very few things you could reveal that the I (the coach) cannot understand, get, and be-with, without judgment. A coach can mirror and get your anger, after which you won't have it; you'll begin to have choices. 

 

Last edited 9/15/17

 

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