A leadership-relationship
communication-skills coach is someone who, with your
permission, provides feedback in support of expanding
your ability to create, have, and complete mutually
satisfying conversations. Both you and the tutorial coach will be positively affected—for life.
A coach doesn't have a bunch of stuff to teach you;
together you and the coach agree to tell the truth and,
to use the same definition of the word
responsibility—from
which all conversations and results are generated. All
breakdowns in communication
between two can be traced to the fact that both are using
his/her own definition of the word responsibility.
Most report that conversations with a coach are among the
ones they remember for life—why? —because when
communication takes place things are never the
same; conversely, when talking takes place supposedly
unwanted problems persist. The vet's tutorial works
because it will be your intention for it to work.
How you communicate (verbally,
non-verbally, physically, and psychically) produces the
results you've been producing—for yourself and all with
whom you relate. If your spouse has unhealthy addictions,
is lazy, or
upset most of the time, if your child is misbehaving or failing in
school, if your employees often do incomplete work, then
it has something to do with your present
leadership-communication skills. It's never ever the
other person.
A coach has the ability to accurately mirror how you come across to others,
what you communicate without knowing it. If
others perceive you as being self-righteous, judgmental,
and arrogant then the coach will mirror your arrogance
for you;* and, most likely you will have no choice
other than to
automatically, accurately, judge the coach to be judgmental and
arrogant. A coach will provide
certain feedback that friends and
family, throughout your life, have tried and failed
to communicate to you. When communication takes place
undesirable behaviors such as automatic angry reactions
begin to disappear.
All schools (high
schools, colleges, universities and academies) merely
introduce one to the fundamentals and principles of
communication. The communication model taught to
education and health care majors nationwide (emulated by most
graduates) is the very same model that
produces broken agreements, blaming, thwarting, badmouthing, messy expensive divorces;
25% of
our nation's college freshman require remedial courses because
teachers fail to communicate subject matter.
Education majors do not
undergo Leadership Training (classes, courses, seminars,
workshops, continuing education courses, YES,
Trainings, NO). A
PFC, corporal, or seaman has more
leadership training than most teachers. Communication mastery is an
entirely different curriculum.**
*
When you are accurately mirrored, with compassion, you
have a
direct experience of yourself, of what it's like for others to talk
with you; it's an experience that affects you for life. I say "talk" because "communication" cannot take
place in a mind occupied with solid beliefs
(thoughts believed to be true). A belief closes the mind
to possibilities. i.e. Ever try to have a
mutually satisfying conversation with a police officer
about the ethics of sting operations? The
mind automatically spars self-righteously with any position that
threatens its reality.
**
Educations paid for by tuitions/tax-money presently don't offer communication mastery curriculums; most all students in
such a course
threaten or actually quit. Cons
and abusive controlling temper-tantrums that have worked
with parents and others don't work with a coach.***
Restoring and maintaining ones integrity, and completing
one's addiction to dramatizing anger, includes observing
and completing child-like
behaviors such as quitting and temper-tantrums. Schools
cannot afford to have students quit.
*** A coach can "see
through your act." Why? Because a coach, like many
parolees, has, "been there and done that." For myself it's
been 44-years of listening to thousands of people share
their withholds, including their experience of me, with me. Such truths eventually
sink in (get gotten) —I finally got that I can be an
asshole. This
coach has
abused, been
abused, conned, manipulated, lied, cheated,
divorced, stolen,
and even killed (Vietnam) as well as having accomplished
all sorts of admirable remarkable things (about
the coach). It could be said that a coach is "Everyman" as portrayed in
the medieval morality play of the same name. In other words, there are very
few things you could reveal that the I (the coach) cannot understand,
get, and be-with, without judgment. A coach can mirror
and get your anger, after which you won't have it;
you'll begin to have
choices.
A coach will provide
certain feedback that friends and
family, throughout your life, have tried and failed
to communicate to you. When communication takes place
undesirable behaviors such as automatic angry reactions
begin to disappear.