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Dear Gabby
Read how a communication-skills coach would reply to some of Dear Abby's  Letters.

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Communication-Skills Tutorial for Vets

About the Tutorial: (pg. 1 of 2)

The vast majority of people carry around thousands of incompletes—for life. These less than satisfying outcomes are the cause for all present-day breakdowns in communication. Incompletes serve as barriers to the experience of communication, of love, of being-here-now (in present-time), and to consistently manifesting one's stated intentions. Vets, with their exposure to many unique conflicting experiences having to do with ethics and morality, have even more to acknowledge and process before they are whole and complete (in-integrity).

Vets who have not completed their military experiences unconsciously drag remnants of incompletes into each present-day interaction, each conversation. Without their uniform a vet must recreate themselves with each new person they meet; the repetitive introduction-litany becomes a drag. Some vets become drama queens; many walk around non-verbally communicating, "Can't you see I don't have anyone sharp enough to call me on my controlling attention-getting drama?" Or, "I'd rather not talk about it," "You can't possibly understand," or, "I'm too humble to talk about it."

No branch of the military clear (debrief) a vet before he/she is released back into society. Vets are discharged with thousands (yes, thousands) of incompletes (things for which they have not been acknowledged). VA staff don't offer clearings to vets, in part because clearing skills are not included in any university speech-communication curriculum. For example: A police officer who has been involved in a shooting incident is automatically put on light (desk) duty; he/she is required to attend weekly sessions (clearings with a psychologist) before being allowed to carry a weapon again.

A vet who is complete experiences happiness and laughs easily throughout most of each day. A vet who is incomplete is emotionally bound up and seldom happy, they routinely unconsciously create communication breakdowns that sap the aliveness and energy of those around him/her.

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ethics and morality
Vet's Forum
Vet' s Forum

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