Communication Tip:

Originally written by Kerry for tutorial reference material, rewritten for Communication Weekly which is no longer online.

Thoughts and Communication

Thoughts are processes, they have no mass therefore no weight:

Thoughts do appear to have weight and mass. Our mind runs rampant with various thoughts throughout each day. Many thoughts are fleeting and relatively new; others are reliable servants, popping up every time at the perfect time. E.g. where the door knob is, where I put the car keys, etc. Some thoughts reside as programs and beliefs; I'll never be president, I can't play guitar, etc.

Other thoughts persist and are unwanted, such as worrying about health or money. Ever think about an ex lover when itís seemingly inappropriate to be doing so? Most people are unaccustomed to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously and so they keep those kinds of thoughts to themselves; itís called withholding.

You can begin to see that if thoughts did have weight there would be micrograms/ounces/pounds of thoughts that could occupy the mind. Itís easy to tell when someone is carrying around a lot of them because they actually look bent over from the effect of carrying around "heavy" thoughts, for life. They have cost the person their aliveness. Thereís no energy. The person looks preoccupied, grumpy, shut down, sad, dishonest, or even mean. We all know at least one truly ďheavy dude.Ē

Some old people who never learned how to share their thoughts are actually bent over from the load. In some cultures people just donít open up and communicate spontaneously. Even expressions of love are covert and implied rather than joyously verbally expressed. Hugging is non-existent. Later in life one can see the lack of aliveness (in an old personís face and posture) that comes from such conscious withholds/suppression.

Withholding has an effect on your aliveness. That is to say, some thoughts eventually begin to preoccupy the mind, and as the saying goes, they begin to weigh heavily on the mind.

Two examples:
  1. All cheating begins with thoughts that are not communicated verbally.
  2. All pedophiles began with a thought that was not communicated verbally during a bedtime clearing on the day the thought occurred..
With both of the above examples the perpetrator believes that the truth cannot be told except that the listener would judge them harshly. In a relationship in which there is a safe space to communicate all thoughts such thoughts donít gain in mass and definition for them to become real. In such a relationship both parties discover that they are each other.

Thoughts withheld serve as barriers to the experience of communication, of love.


Thoughts Occupy Space
Thoughts and Clear Thinking

Use this Comment form for comments/feedback (Free-no registration)

HTML Comment Box is loading comments...

To ask a question please go to Dear Gabby's Message Board (free - registration required).

Check back occasionally for minor edits (last edited 10/25/17)


Press Continue button to return to Index of Communication Tips.

[ top | Index of Tips | ComCom's Home Page ]