However,
thoughts do appear to have weight and mass.* Our
mind runs rampant with various thoughts throughout each day. Many
thoughts are fleeting and relatively new, others have been thought of
before; some unwanted thoughts persist. A reoccurring thought that
persists is referred to as an
incomplete, something about it is inaccurate, usually it's being
withheld from someone of significance.
Some thoughts reside as positions or beliefs. I.e. I'll never be president, I
can't play guitar, marry to one's race, etc. Some thoughts from an early
childhood incident (an incomplete) resulted in behaviors such as ones addiction to
deception, to withholding,
and blaming.*
A significant persistent thought that is being withheld from someone of
significance is referred to as a
withhold. Significant meaning:
If share verbally it would cause upset or anger.The word "verbally" is a reminder that all withholds are being
communicated non-verbally, they affect all outcomes.
Other thoughts persist and are unwanted, such as worrying about
health or money. Ever think about an ex lover when it's seemingly
inappropriate to be doing so? Most people are unaccustomed to
communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously and so they keep those
kinds of thoughts to themselves; it's called
withholding.
You can begin to see that if thoughts did have weight there would be micrograms/ounces/pounds of thoughts
that could occupy the mind. It's easy to tell when someone is carrying
around a lot of them because they actually look bent over from the
effect of carrying around "heavy" thoughts, for life.
They have cost the person their aliveness. There's no energy. The person
looks preoccupied, grumpy, shut down, sad, dishonest, or even mean. We
all know at least one truly "heavy dude."
Some old people who never
learned how to share their thoughts are actually bent over from the
load. In some cultures people just don't open up and communicate
spontaneously. Even expressions of love are covert and implied rather
than joyously verbally expressed. Hugging is non-existent.
Later in life one can see the lack of aliveness (in an old person's face
and posture) that comes from such conscious withholds/suppression.
Withholding has an effect on your aliveness. That is to say, some
thoughts eventually begin to preoccupy the mind, and as the saying goes,
they begin to weigh heavily on the mind.
Two examples:
All cheating begins with thoughts that are not communicated
verbally.
All pedophiles began with a thought that was not
communicated verbally during a bedtime
clearing on the day the thought
occurred..
With both of the above examples the perpetrator believes that the truth
cannot be told except that the listener would judge them harshly. In a
relationship in which there is a safe space to communicate all thoughts
such thoughts don't gain in mass and definition for them to become real.
In such a relationship both parties discover that they are each other.
All divorced couples (yes all, no exceptions)
withheld a significant (deal-breaking) thought from each other, on or
before their very first date. Both brought their addictions to
withholding and blaming into the relationship. Both perfectly mirrored
each other's integrity.
Thoughts withheld serve as barriers to the experience of communication,
of love.
* During an Advanced Communication Workshop participants
pair off and are guided through a three-hour clearing process in which
they share life's perpetrations (abuses, thefts and deceits) mostly
thoughts they've never shared verbally with anyone. After the process of
emptying one's mind all the participants look years
younger; they actually feel lighter.