Sex tips:
All dissatisfactions with sex between couples reveal that both partners are withholding an equal number of significant thoughts from the other. There are no exceptions to this communication phenomenon. These withholds are being communicated non-verbally, they cause all miscommunications, broken agreements, thwartings, poutings and "accidents."
If you are withholding one or more significant thoughts from your partner then you have caused him/her to withhold an equal number of thoughts from you. These thoughts are referred to as incompletes.
You'll notice that you brought your addiction to withholding and blaming into the relationship; you magnetically attracted a fellow blaming withholder, someone who doesn't communicate spontaneously, someone who is dragging around teenage incompletes into each present-day interaction (verbally unacknowledged perpetrations, deceits, abuses).*
It's impossible for one partner to be withholding a significant thought from the other except that it causes, yes causes, the other to withhold also (it's an entanglement thing). On the first date such thoughts are thought to be deal-breakers. I.e. "If I told ... then ..."
One of the most significant thoughts couples hide from each other is that a former lover had done something better, such as oral sex. If someone you dated in high school had mastered oral sex, and, you have not shared that verbally with your partner, then you have caused a breakdown in communication between you.
Your job is to teach your partner what you like. A partner addicted to blaming won't put in corrections/suggestions, instead they search elsewhere for what they believe they want. They blame their partner for being an unskilled lover instead of asking for exactly what they want. Inexperienced lovers have a barrier to being comfortable talking about sex.
Tip: Touching your partner's head and saying, "Yes, like that." anchors in a desired behavior.
To transform your experience of intercourse do the Clearing Process for Professionals, then invite your partner to do it; then you both can do the Clearing Process for Couples —the processes are about restoring and maintaining one's integrity—both processes are free.
* The majority of parents teach their children to lie—evidenced by the fact that most teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex. The consequences for such deceits account for the 50%+- divorce rate.
Last edited 7/4/21