Has a lie, a deceit, or a blaming abusive communication that you have yet to acknowledge (to yourself or another), been affecting your health, your immune system? I.e. You've yet to deliver, "I get that my yelling this morning didn't feel good."
Premise: All verbal, non-verbal, physical and psychic communications have an effect (all lies and all truths).
- As you told your very first childhood lie you unconsciously transformed yourself, from a trustworthy person of integrity (deserving to have life and relationships work) to someone needing to get caught for a perpetration.* Something was different after the lie, more so if you have yet to acknowledged or to be acknowledged for that specific lie. Sleep that night wasn't as sound and refreshing as before.** One of life's lessons will be to recreate a similar incident so as to have a choice to tell the truth, without its real/imagined consequences.
The negative vibrations of the deceit get communicated non-verbally along with the alleged truth. The other person doesn't know what's happening only that he/she is not experiencing love. A thought withheld serves as a barrier to the experience of communication, of love.
We don't consciously choose to be angry, it just "happens." What also happens automatically is that our body's survival mechanisms kick in. Blood pressure, pulse and heart rate increases and hundreds of chemical actions/reactions take place, adrenaline, testosterone, endorphins, bile-generating stress hormones, etc., resulting in drastic changes to our gut's microbiome. Our brain's neural pathways having to do with spontaneity were damaged, [Ouch! Don't do or say that again!] The first shock, from a loving conversation to "violent" anger, is traumatic. Re: "violent:" Research has shown that when a child watches parents with demon-looking faces violently arguing it affects the child's stress hormones, their very immune system.
What happens in your body and mind when you experience parents abusing each other?***
- As you experienced the first angry exchange (often during pregnancy) between your mother and father it was a shock; it did not feel good. It triggered fear and upset. Your heart began beating faster. Your immune system, to protect you, began acting differently; it did something to your sensitivity so as to be able to survive another out-burst. Your fear mechanism kicked in, "Will I survive this?" BTW: The body and mind react the same whether in or out of the womb. The negative vibrations and their effects are the same.
- Because we are unconscious during an abusive argument (it's unlikely one would consciously choose to hurt a loved one's feelings) such an event is referred to as a non-experienced experience. Your memory, your narrative, of what happened is inaccurate, it's missing a few details.
- Note: Children who have a difficult time waking up, who have to be re-woke several times, are non-verbally dramatizing an incomplete, a significant thought they are withholding, typically an unacknowledged perpetration.
Each successful lie affects one's health, one's immune system, one's appearance and outcomes, beginning with reading comprehension problems and recreating a teacher's communications.
What isn't taught in speech-communication classes is that the mind and body spend considerable energy repairing itself after the first lie. Chemicals, enzymes and proteins that usually go towards maintaining one's immune system are not functioning as they were before the lie.
It could be said that we pay ourselves back for life's unacknowledged perpetrations; we cause our immune system to malfunction.
Once a perpetration has been acknowledged the body can resume its normal job of repairing and maintaining one's immune system.
* This tip is only of value if we can agree that the following are lies.
- "I'll pick you up at three." and you arrive at 3:05 (Did you lie?)
You fail to tell a date that you have herpes (a withhold referred to as deceit or living a lie).
You conned your date into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs.
As a divorcee you once vowed, "... til death do us part ..."
Your child asked, "Can I ...?" and you, knowing "never" replied, "Maybe someday."
Your child asked where their deceased xxxx went and you tell them, "They went to heaven."
*** An unconscious parent, one who can't experience their child's first lie, becomes cause for the child's consequences (for life or until the lie has been verbally acknowledged). In other words, it's irresponsible to set up your child to lie. For example: If you know your child didn't brush their teeth then asking them is a set-up. It teaches your child to be sneaky. Mo betta, if after discovering a dry toothbrush, "I see that you haven't brushed your teeth." Parents become more and more unconscious as they withhold thoughts from (deceive) each other. Deceits and withholds sap one's awareness, unacknowledged they serve as barriers to communication.
BTW: If you are deceiving your partner, if you are withholding one or more significant thoughts from him/her, you have caused (yes caused) him/her to withhold the same number of significant thoughts from you. All divorced couples withheld a significant thought from the other on their first date; both brought their addictions to withholding and blaming into the relationship (44+ years of 3-hr consultations and I have not found an exception to this phenomenon. We magnetically attract a partner who perfectly mirrors our integrity).
The [free] Clearing Process it's about restoring and maintaining one's integrity.
About your child's poor grades
Parent-child bedtime clearing process
Verbally abusive parents affect child's stress hormones
Does your child have a problem waking up?
About Lies and Lying—lying from choice
Last edited 10/3/21