Wedding guests contributing to divorces?

Precluding predictable problems
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Gabby
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Wedding guests contributing to divorces?

Post by Gabby » Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:24 pm

Given that almost 40% of married couples end up divorced it might work to be selective about whom to invite to your wedding—and, as a guest, which weddings to attend.1
  • It's understood that most wedding guests do not accept responsibility for the success or failure of a friend's marriage. Most friends deny the effects of their leadership-communication skills; they communicate non-verbally— "My integrity, how I communicate (verbally, non-verbally and psychically), has absolutely nothing to do with the success of your relationships."
Premises:
  • 1) Those we interact with, our family and friends, affect our outcomes (goals, health, happiness, prosperity).

    2) All lies and all truths have an affect (especially unconscious white-lies such as, "I'll be with you in a minute2." Or, to the question, "Did you brush your teeth?" Or, "No candy!" and then the parent relents and give the child candy. The negative karma of a specific lie can be mitigated or disappeared via an acknowledgement-communication/process such as journaling or a Clearing Process. For example: Mother to child: "I get that I lied earlier today." Else, both the child and the mother drag that incomplete into all interactions—for life. Read: About Lies and Lying

    3) Living a lie. For example: One tells a therapist they don't want abuse in their life yet they opt for another 24-hours in an abusive relationship. Or, if one vowed, ". . . till death do us part . . ." yet they are now divorced and, they have yet to acknowledge that specific lie to themselves or anyone.
Wedding guests, including family members and friends who operate with integrity, affect us positively. On the other hand, those who are dragging around life's unacknowledged perpetrations into each and every interaction have a less-than-positive effect on everyone with whom they interact. Why? Because such a wedding guest is out-integrity; he/she does not inspire open, honest, and spontaneous communication—no significant thoughts withheld. In fact, such a guest supports withholding (deceits) within his/her own relationship(s). Such a person can't be trusted to always tell you the truth. For example: If such a wedding guest eventually becomes aware of a deception between the married couple they can't be trusted to support the couple in restoring the integrity of the relationship; the guest's very silence (their non-verbal communications) becomes responsible (cause) for the failure of the marriage—such an acquaintance will often deny their power.

1 If you have been invited to a wedding and have withholds in your relationship with either of the betrothed or, if you have thoughts as to why the marriage won't last, and you continue to communicate these considerations non-verbally, then you become responsible for its eventual failure. Why? Because you do not inspire open and honest communication—your leadership-communication skills support deceptions, therefore mediocrity.

2 If late, it detracts from ones experience of a parent being trustworthy. I.e. I "love" my mom but she's not trustworthy, she doesn't always mean what she says.

Solution: Do The [free] Clearing Process and then invite the couple to do the same (the process restores ones integrity).

Supportive readings:

Wedding Guest Vow (a most perfect wedding gift)
Creating a marriage vow that precludes cheating, etc.
Wedding expenses and marital happiness—a correlation?
Commitment test for couples
Communication tips in support of a harmonious marriage
Must-reads for engaged couples

Last edited 10/12/21

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