Short answer: If you have to ask, it ain't love. If there's doubt, it's not love. The experience of love is unmistakable. And, the experience of love comes and goes throughout each day, (assuming that you are in-communication with each other). If you're not experiencing love then it can always be created/recreated via a clearing.* If you're wondering if your partner loves you then you have a barrier** to experiencing love (again, it's an unmistakable experience).
If you are not experiencing love then you are withholding a thought from your partner and, your partner is withholding a thought from you; more accurately, you have caused your partner to withhold a specific thought from you. You have not created a safe space for your partner to share their thoughts (their withholds); you must lead by example. If you know you're withholding a thought from your partner then your partner is definitely withholding something significant from you. Withholders always attract (cause) withholders; there no exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon.
- Most divorces began on the first date when partner "A" withheld a thought from partner "B." This automatically, non-verbally, psychically, gave "B" permission to withhold a thought from "A." "B" automatically knew that they had found in "A" someone who supports withholding. A person who communicates openly, honestly, and spontaneously (all withholds verbally communicated) causes truthfulness, such a person comes from love.
With arranged marriages, in which neither knew the other, love sometimes later appears as a concept (one simply knows/understands they love the other); these couples seldom experience joy and ecstasy. The experience of love appears through truthful (mutually satisfying) communications. A truth such as, "I don't like the way you give oral sex" (a criticism) might very well be truthful but it's not a mutually satisfying communication. It is in fact a blaming-make-wrong statement. There is way to deliver an uncomfortable communication through to mutual satisfaction.
For a relationship to expand and grow both must respect, admire, and positively support each others profession. —Kerry
To create space one must empty mind (you must empty your mind and your partner's mind, referred to as mind, the collective mind between you). If one partner withholds a thought, such as "You're not my #10" or, "Oral sex used to feel better with my ex" then the other knows there's something missing or something has been added; something such as a thought is being withheld; the withhold is in the space between them serving as a barrier to the experience of communication, of love.
When a couple meet they have no baggage between them, no broken agreements, no unresolved upsets, and for the most part both accept each other—not yet wanting to change something about the other. This condition causes the body to manufacture chemicals that stimulate an endorphin-like rush, an experience of love—it's much the same as when one ingests MDMA (a.k.a. ecstasy, molly).
As a new relationship evolves the couple begin to produce and accumulate incompletes—upsets, non-verbal condescensions, judgments, broken agreements/tardinesses, missing acknowledgments, small arguments that reveal character flaws. Most significantly, each partner begins to withhold more and more thoughts from the other, ostensibly in the name of harmony, but more so for fear of losing the other (survival).***
In a "loving" relationship incompletes are completed (resolved) through to mutual satisfaction through responsible communication—as opposed to talking. Talking about an upset causes it to persist. Between talkers an argument about burnt toast is about the toast and, something else).
As thoughts are withheld the body stops manufacturing the love-chemicals. The couple still have memories of the experience of love that "happened" at first but the love has become conceptualized, it's no longer an experience. Because they don't know how to clear each other so as to empty "mind" (the collective mind) they become stuck doing their imitation of communication with each other.
* It's possible to create/recreate the experience of love at will during a single sit-down together; to do so you must first do the (free) Clearing Process and then invite your partner to do the same after which you can, together, do the (free) Clearing Process for Couples. The process works even between strangers—providing both communicate all withholds.
** If you are not experiencing love then you have created a barrier to communication. You are withholding one or more thoughts from him/her. When you withhold a thought from another it automatically, non-verbally, grants them permission to withhold certain thoughts from you.
*** Men have a reputation of not opening up, of not sharing their feelings, of not sharing the "small stuff" in part because they judge such thoughts to be insignificant or, that think a prolonged conversation would take up sex-time. In other words, they don't want to cause an upset that would get in the way of that day's sex [yes, even more shallow than Shallow Hal]. —therefore a woman must schedule clearings so as to create a safe space for thoughts to be delivered.
Last edited 11/7/16