PTSD—a breakdown in communication

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Gabby
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PTSD—a breakdown in communication

Postby Gabby » Tue Dec 03, 2013 12:23 am

Definition:

    "PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) sometimes develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm.1 The person who develops PTSD may have been harmed or the one who harmed another; the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event." —National Institute of Mental Health.
What we're reluctant to acknowledge, and keep to the front of the mind, is that the stress that sometimes appears after a stressful incident (PTS: Post Traumatic Stress) evolves into a disorder (PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) when a veteran is not in-communication with anyone; when the vet, and everyone with whom they interact (doctors, therapists, clergy, friends, and family members) have become stuck talking, each doing his/her imitation of communication. Communication resolves a problem whereas talking causes a problem to persist.2

Premise: When an unwanted problem persists there's a lie somewhere, when the truth is told the problem disappears.

A belief as to the source of PTSD causes the PTSD to persist; a belief shuts down the mind to possibilities.

All vets who have been diagnosed with PTSD are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance. A vet who has been diagnosed with PTSD will find it virtually impossible to read this page without experiencing upset/anger — under the anger hides the truth. There are no exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon. The non-verbal pact between all with whom a vet interacts is to avoid the [specific] communications that would produce the experience of completion, of health, of love. The consequences for deceit (for consciously withholding thoughts) are always appropriate and exactly what one expected all along; that is to say, we create our own perfect consequences. The choice is always an experience of health and happiness or less than; most of us are addicted to mediocrity.

Following is about the correlation between personal integrity and physical and mental health.

This tip presumes the reader agrees that all lies and all truths have an effect; that a lie, even an unconscious lie such as the vow, ". . . till death do us part . . ." sworn to by a now divorced couple, had an effect on outcomes such as achieving and sustaining a happy, healthy, and prosperous marriage. It further presumes that when one lies they don't feel good about themselves. The more proficient one becomes at lying (the more successes) the less a recent lie/abuse appears to bother them; the experience of guilt is suppressed. Such a person loses his/her ability to make a connection between a recent perpetration and say, a breakdown in communication with a loved one.

For most people their first lie was, "Yup" in response to a parent's question, "Did you brush your teeth?"3 Most children immediately experience discomfort after their first lie, they don't feel good. If the parent had been conscious (awake)4 they would have noticed that the child looked ever-so-slightly different the next morning; for many it was the source of the habit of not waking up full of aliveness and energy. The look of pure innocence had been replaced with micro-tells of worry, concern, and guilt. Significant is the realization that mother wasn't as "all-knowing" as you assumed, and "God" didn't strike you down. The success paved way for more "white" lies and deceits, each manifesting itself physically, beginning with just not looking alive or wholesome. Some children have told so many lies they begin to look defiant, tough, sneaky, and dishonest. The guilt begins to affect ones ability to consistently manifest their stated intentions. The more arrogant one is the more one dismisses thoughts of the correlation between personal integrity and results; among the first indicators of an out-integrity are difficulties with studying (composition, comprehension and retention). Socially, they magnetically attract "friends" who can't be trusted—lots of karmic thwartings and broken agreements, often leading to petty/jailable crimes.

When one gets life working without cleaning up (acknowledging) life's accumulated perpetrations their integrity unconsciously intends a transformative circumstance—divorce, job loss, accident, health problem—so as to have a clean start. For example: If one shouts, "Screw you!" to their spouse as they leave the house and then have an "accident" at work; a mind addicted to blame will arrogantly refuse to make the connection between the perpetration (in this case the verbal condescending abuse) and a result. On the other hand, if the abuser almost dies from the accident, loses their job due to permanent injuries, and their spouse simultaneously initiates a divorce, (if the consequences were appropriate to life's accumulated unacknowledged perpetrations) often referred to as crashing and burning (a.k.a. —a wake-up call), it usually triggers introspection and behavior changes. Most have to "crash and burn" to make the connection between their personal integrity and results. The more arrogant one is (the more condescensions they've inflicted upon others) the more significant and appropriate the life-altering crash.

Most all people, including teachers, clergy, business and military leaders, and the world's physical and mental health professionals, use the prevailing communication model taught throughout the world's schools, universities and academies. This model is referred to as the Adversarial Communication Model.

The Adversarial Communication Model is characterized by us and them, win at the expense of others, my way/belief is correct, and the biggie, withholding certain thoughts from bosses and loved ones. With vets it's often, "I don't want to talk about it" or, "You wouldn't understand." In other words, most everyone espouses open, honest, and spontaneous communication yet few do so with even one person.

    All divorces began on the first date with both (yes, both) partners simultaneously (yes, exactly in the same instant—withholding one or more significant thoughts (a thought believed to be either upsetting or a deal-breaker) from the other.
A significant percentage of divorced couples conned each other into deceiving both sets of parents about their first sex; imagine how unconscious and out-integrity one must be to con a date into deceiving his/her parents? Read about entanglement)

The adversarial model has confusing rules. Tell the truth—but as a child you're admonished to not tell an adult relative what you really think about him/her. Or, "Don't tell mother." Thwart your boss/supervisor by silently supporting badmouthing and gossiping about him/her. We're supposed to tell the truth to police but the police can practice deceit (sting operations) and lie to you during an interrogation saying they have proof you did the crime. Most married couples vow, "till death do us part" yet 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Dear Abby advises, "let sleeping dogs lie" —whether to come clean about earlier transgressions, adoptions, infidelities, or paternity secrets; legislators lead the way (pun intended) when it comes to infidelity. Military academies take turns with their Honor Code scandals—cadets have no choice other than to mirror the integrity of the cadre—Academy Superintendents honestly and sincerely believe they have communicated the Honor Code. Most importantly, the Adversarial Communication Model trains us to withhold certain thoughts from most everyone—including our loved ones.

What most people forget is that how we communicate with others affects our aliveness, our very health. As pertains to PTSD, the Adversarial Communication Model, the way the Veterans Administration staff and veterans communicate with each other, supports vets in lying and exaggerating so as to get as much disability money as possible. The VA offers no incentives to a vet to ever get better (which would result in less money per month). A lump sum bonus for healing would be an excellent incentive.

The military conducts cursory physical exams just prior to discharging all military personnel. However, the discharge procedure does not include a Clearing Process. The key word is clearing —as in emptying the mind of all perpetrations—acknowledging all good and bad deeds. The word clearing is used differently in the military;5 as such, all vets leave the service with thousands of incidents (in communication coaching lingo these are referred to as incompletes) for which they have not been acknowledged, especially the perpetrations—read recidivism variable).

In communication coaching jargon these unacknowledged perpetrations are referred to as withholds—thoughts they have stuffed, the deceits, lies and things they did for which they are ashamed, to include "bad" or dishonorable things they did while "serving" their country.

Eighty percent of the Army's vets served as rear echelon support personnel therefore they didn't participate in combat directly; many of these vets lie, exaggerate, or embellish their service; some, non-verbally, lead others to believe they were in combat, some claim to have served with elite units, others recite a litany of heroic deeds they [wish they] had performed to whomever will listen to them—for life. Such embellishments occupy space at the back of the vet's mind; these incompletes get in the way of creativity and of manifesting the results a vet says they want. Initially these "war stories" simply cost a vet his/her credibility and aliveness; the lies affect ones electromagnetic meridians, eventually the body begins generating excess bile, acids, and toxins affecting the vet's immune system, their very health.

Family, friends, and loved ones, use the same Adversarial Communication Model and so they don't know how to get into communication with their vet. Eventually, disrespect, resentment, and disillusionment creeps in; many vets become bored hanging out with the civilian population that can be conned, one that's committed to mediocrity. Many vets are driven to drugs because they don't know how to get high through service to ones community via true communication.

Dr. Carrie Elk, of The Elk Institute for Psychological Health and Performance states that most traumas can be completed in one to five sessions. Counselors and coaches know that what a person states to be their problem, what they believe caused the problem, is never ever the problem—because it doesn't address the source of the problem. A vet becomes programmed to describing what "happened" but not what was going on in his/her mind seconds, minutes, hours prior to the incident, the intention (albeit an unconscious one) that manifested the result.

Communication-Skills Tutorial for Veterans

1 also, mental/psychological fear/threat/harm.

2 Speech-Communication teachers and professors only introduce us (including education & health-care majors) to the fundamentals and principles of interpersonal-intrapersonal communication. Upon graduation we all practice learning how to communicate on each other. Question: Would you choose a brain surgeon who was merely introduced to the fundamentals of the brain and of surgery?

3 Read (In preparation for your child's first lie.)

4 A conscious parent doesn't ask a question for which they know (or assume the answer). To do so is to set up the child to lie.

5 "Clearing:" The military uses the terms, "briefing," "after action report" and "debriefing" but the leaders using these processes do not create a safe space for sharing certain truths, especially the kinds of thoughts that could result in a demotion/punishment/Courts Marshal.

Go here for a better understanding about the above.

Last edited 7/6/17

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