Tips for a successful intimate relationship

Precluding predictable problems

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Gabby
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Tips for a successful intimate relationship

Postby Gabby » Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:07 pm

Here are a couple things to consider when selecting a relationship partner:

Do you or your partner support deceit?

For example: If you conned your girlfriend into having sex without having verbal support from her parents, if she is programmed to deceive her parents by having sex behind their backs, then there will be lots of breakdowns in communications in your relationship with her—including withholds, sneaking, and deceit.* There are no exceptions to this phenomenon—unless.** Most boys, who completely disrespected their date's father, later discover, often when they are fathers, that complete respect and trust is missing in their relationship with their own teens, especially their daughter—who is afraid to share that she's been thinking about having sex with her boyfriend.

The karma for thwarting the intentions of a girl’s father will come back to haunt you when it’s least expected—unless.** Worse yet, if you don't support her in coming clean with her parents (and yours) then we'll know that what you're calling love ain't it. Condoning another's unethical behavior is not a gift of love; your silence is a covert communication of both fear and disrespect. You will be covertly thwarting her while pretending to positively support her.

A relationship with deception in it cannot expand and grow; the deception serves as a barrier to the experience of love, to re-creating, at will, the experience of love through a sit-down conversation. The experience of love is generated through genuine intercourse, its foundation is integrity (all of life's perpetrations have been acknowledged and cleaned up).

Another example: If you know your girlfriend lied, telling her parents that she was going to the library, when in fact you both went somewhere else, and you know she has yet to come clean about the incident with her parents and, most importantly, you have not supported her in acknowledging the perpetration to her parents, then there will definitely be deceit in your relationship with her. Again, there are no exceptions. The consequences are compounded because you not only supported her in deceiving her parents, you mislead her into believing you were an honorable person, someone with her best interests at heart.

Yet other examples: If you’re trying to con your girlfriend into having sex and you haven’t verbalized to her, “If I impregnate you you have my word that I’ll pay 50% of everything until the child is 18-years-old” (total cost = approx $200,000.00 not including approx $1000.00 for the birth-hospital fee) then you are deceitfully misleading her into believing that you’re an honorable person. Worse, you have not responsibly communicated to both sets of parents and your community's tax payers, "I expect everyone to pay for my unplanned pregnancy." This premeditated scam of yours will cost you much more in terms of your own prosperity. I say premeditated because you can no longer say you didn't know. Read: (Preventing an "accidental" teen pregnancy.)

Conversely, if you con your boyfriend into conning you into having sex and you haven’t discussed the possibilities, as to who pays for what if we get pregnant, then you are deceitfully setting yourself up to be “accidentally” impregnated, mostly likely so that you don’t have to study hard so as to go to college or so that you don’t have to get a job right out of high school. Ruining a boy’s chances of going to college just so you can play mother is unethical for which there are undesirable consequences.

How does he/she treat their parents?

For example: If your boyfriend is rude to his parents, if he badmouths them, talks condescendingly to them, or negatively about them behind their backs, then it’s just a matter of time that there will be trash-talking in your relationship with him. Put another way, if you silently support him in speaking disparagingly about his parents, he will eventually talk badly about you to others.

How you handle the very first incident in which he speaks rudely to his parents reveals whether he is supportable. I.e. Mom to son: “Where are you going?” Son: “Christ mom, I told you yesterday, we’re just going to the movies.” And you remain silent, non-verbally condoning him speaking rudely to the parent, instead of saying to him, “Ouch, that didn't feel good.” If, on the other hand, he acknowledges the abuse then you've got yourself a winner. If he gets upset at you [for taking his mother’s side] then the relationship is all over but the drama; it will end unpleasantly.

Bottom line: There are always undesirable consequences for abuse and deceit, often, depending upon your arrogance, the consequences come when you least want or expect.

Most importantly: Do The Clearing Process and then invite her to do it. And then you both can do The Clearing Process for Couples (all for free).

* If she's still deceiving her parents then there are one or more perpetrations for which she has not been acknowledged (caught). Her integrity will not let her achieve and sustain the experience of love, health, and prosperity. She will have to crash and burn first, taking you with her, so as to start clean.

** Unless: Unless the perpetration has been verbally acknowledged to all concerned or the couple regularly do The Clearing Process for Couples.

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