How to ensure your teen daughter has sex behind your back:
Actually, there’s nothing you have to do. Most parents train their teenage daughter to be deceitful, to hide thoughts such as, “I’m thinking of doing drugs or having sex.” This is especially true of parents who arrogantly believe they are in-communication with their teenager.1
Few parents know how to create a safe space for the truth to be told spontaneously. Most fathers have shut down communication to the point where they and their teenage daughter are even uncomfortable hugging. I.e. "A-Frame" hugs;" this, of course, drives a daughter into the arms of a disrespectful teenage boy who hugs, looking for someone equally desperate for affection. "Disrespectful" in that the boy is counting on a father's daughter being willing to deceive her parents by having sex behind their backs.
The vast majority of parents are still reaping the karma of having supported their teenage dates (those they dated when they were a teen) into deceiving theirs or their date's parents. Most fathers, when they were a teenager, thought nothing of conning their date into having sex. It didn't occur to them that they were supporting the girl in deceiving her parents; neither was aware of the karma (grades, health, life-long relationship-happiness, and prosperity) of supporting deceit.
Teenage boys intuitively know to look for a girl who is lonely and needy, one who is not in-communication with her parents. Boys, like teachers, can instantly tell when a girl is not in-communication with her parents. There is a [free] Clearing Process that supports one in cleaning up childhood perpetrations thereby precluding the necessity of creating what it was like for the deceived parent.
What passes for communication between most parents and teens is but an imitation of communication (read Sarah and Bristol Palin's Potential Rumor). This imitation of communication, this way of relating between parents and children, is the result of generations of in-breeding within university speech-communication departments. Speech-Communication Professors honestly believe they are in-communication with their students yet nationwide, for decades, about 25% of our college freshmen have required remedial courses because their high school teachers (education majors) were not taught how to communicate subject-matter.* I say “in-breeding” because a person committed to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously cannot survive for long within the present university environment. Communication can't be taught through to a skill level by a teacher who cannot be trusted to tell the truth or to honor all agreements, or one who hides certain thoughts from parents, loved ones, peers, or super-ordinates. * Virtually all education and health care majors are awarded diplomas without having verbally acknowledged all childhood perpetrations (withholds, deceits, abuses) to their own family—all oblivious of the consequences of deceit.
Bottom line: Parents are programmed to use the prevailing communication model taught in schools; it’s referred to as the Adversarial Communication Model. It’s the same leadership-communication model that teachers use to train parents to eventually send their children to school without ensuring the homework is done on time and neatly. It's the same thwarting communication model parents/citizens use to cause teachers to have to pathetically beg for salaries one-half the earnings of dockworkers (many are former "C" students). It's the same communication model that causes 25% of the nation's college freshmen to require remedial composition and comprehension courses to teach subject matter their "teachers" K-12 failed to communicate.
Here are four free communication processes that can create (or restore) the experience of integrity within a family. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.
1 A common statement by parents of Columbine-type shooting incidents is, "I had no idea ... I thought things were OK." more
Last edited 12/25/23