How to ensure your teen daughter has sex behind your back
Actually, there’s nothing you have to do. Most parents are already training their teenage daughter to be deceitful, to hide thoughts such as, “I’m thinking of doing drugs or having sex.” This is especially true of parents who arrogantly believe they are in-communication with their teenager.
Few parents know how to create a safe space for the truth to be told spontaneously. Most fathers have shut down communication to the point where they and their daughter are even uncomfortable hugging; this of course drives a daughter into the arms of a disrespectful teenage boy who hugs, one equally desperate for affection. "Disrespectful" in that the boy is counting on a father's daughter being willing to deceive her parents by having sex behind their backs.
The vast majority of parents are still reaping the karma of having supported their teenage dates (those they dated when they were a teen) into deceiving their's or their date's parents. Most fathers, when they were a teenager, thought nothing of conning their date into having sex. It didn't even occur to them that they were supporting the girl in deceiving her parents; neither were aware of the karma (grades, health, happiness) of supporting deceit.
Teenage boys intuitively know to look for a girl who is lonely and needy, one who is not in-communication with her parents. There is a Clearing Process that supports one in cleaning up childhood perpetrations thereby precluding the necessity of creating what it was like for the deceived parent.
What passes for communication between most parents and teens is but an imitation of communication (read Sarah and Bristol Palen's Potential Rumor). This imitation of communication, this way of relating between parents and children, is the result of generations of in-breeding within university speech-communication departments. Speech-Communication professors honestly believe they are in communication with their students yet more and more college freshmen require remedial courses because their high school teachers (education majors) were not taught how to communicate subject matter. I say “in-breeding” because a person committed to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously cannot survive for long within the present university environment. Communication can't be taught through to a skill level by a teacher who cannot be trusted to tell the truth or to honor all agreements, or one who hides certain thoughts from parents, loved ones, peers, and superordinates.
Bottom line: Parents are programmed to use the prevailing communication model taught in schools; it’s referred to as the adversarial communication model. It’s the same leadership-communication model that teachers use to train parents to send their child to school without ensuring the homework is done on time and neatly. It's the same thwarting communication model parents/citizens use to cause teachers to have to pathetically beg for salaries one half the earnings of dockworkers. It's the same communication model that causes 25% of the nation's college freshman to require remedial composition and comprehension courses to teach subject matter their high school teachers failed to communicate.
Here are four free communication processes that can create (or restore) the experience of integrity within a family. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.
Last edited 11/9/17