How to cause a man to disrespect you.
This tip should be titled, "How to cause your intended to eventually cheat on you as a spouse? It refers to the fact that how you handle premarital sex is a factor in determining fidelity during marriage. Don't jump to the conclusion that this is a morality/abstinence tip (see below).
To begin with you'll notice that you probably have not read about this subject in any of the relationship "How to ...." magazines. Why the subject remains a mokita (a truth everyone knows that no one talks about) is another topic.
Here's how to set it up for a person you're dating, who becomes your spouse, to eventually cheat on you.
I'm assuming here that a male reading this will insert the word "female" where appropriate.
Any man who manipulates you into having premarital sex, without first getting clear where your parents are about you having sex, has a huge character flaw that begs to be caught. This man is on the way down, he has yet to crash and burn; he will take anyone who hangs around him down with him. His definitions of the words responsibility and integrity are grossly inaccurate. The fact that he's willing to con you into deceiving your parents, whom he knows would be upset and hurt, reveals volumes about his character. Such a man will look your parents in the eye and present himself as an honest truthful person. Later he will use this ability, to deceive others, on you, the co-conspirator. That he thinks nothing of supporting you in deceiving your father, another male, whom he obviously doesn't respect, should be a red flag—for most women it's not. The addiction (yes, it's an addiction) of deception (hiding things/thoughts) from one's parents has become so common that it no longer triggers their integrity meter. Again another topic.
As your mind read the above paragraph it probably balked at the word "manipulates." This is a good thing. It's good because you know that in your universe, from your perspective, it is you who manipulates men to do what you cause them to do to you. For most the words con and manipulate are harsh words; however, if you look closely you'll see that you cannot not con (as in convince) or manipulate others. Standing silently in a crowded room you are having an effect. Cons are either mutually beneficial or someone feels used or ripped off. The trick is to learn how to manipulate life so that it works for all concerned.
This tip is about respect. A man cannot respect you or himself if he can con you into disrespecting your parents. He may say he respects you but underneath it all, he knows he's found in you an equally dishonest person.
This tip is neither for or against premarital sex. It supports open, honest, and spontaneous communication, zero significant thoughts withheld, for reasons, with one's parents and relationship partners.
There's no big ending to this tip. It's self evident. It's just important that you have read it. Your integrity will do what you need to do in support of integrity, of being whole and complete. In truth we set others up to do it to us so that we can learn about responsibility and integrity, so as to know with absolute certainty that the integrity of our partners is always always a mirror.
And yes, there is a way to clean up life's perpetrations, to include having deceived one's parents. Ask Gabby for support in being complete.
With aloha,
Gabby
Last edited 11/25/19