What is a marriage of neccessity?
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:29 am
Esabelly asked this question on another topic. I've moved it here.
Dear Gabby:
What is a marriage that is done only for necessity? My ex husband remarried last december, and he said it was a marriage out of necessity. He said his marriage is okay, and will not talk about it. What does that mean?
Esabelly
Hi Esabelly,
What comes to mind is a shotgun wedding in which the father threatens to kill the guy who "seduced" his daughter. Such a marriage is of necessity. Another could be marrying because of a pregnancy that has to be hidden so the wedding takes place, of necessity, quickly. Another possibility is that he fell for an illegal alien—here you can make up your own story as to what might prompt a necessary marriage. Couples not "in-LOVE" marry for reasons; a humongous tax shelter could be thought of as necessary.
His reluctance to talk about it suggests it might not be a commonly accepted or easily understand reason. It could be that he intuited that you would make him wrong if he told you.
I'm concerned about your concern. Something else is going on; that you would have such thoughts about your ex is not healthy.
I'm wondering what your present relationship with him is now; when men say their marriage is "okay" it's a covert communication that they are masterminding a divorce and they are open to ... And more importantly, what's going on with you that you would create him treating you like that? For example: "Hey ex, either talk or leave. I'm not tolerating you shutting down communication, controlling me."
Gabby
Dear Gabby:
What is a marriage that is done only for necessity? My ex husband remarried last december, and he said it was a marriage out of necessity. He said his marriage is okay, and will not talk about it. What does that mean?
Esabelly
Hi Esabelly,
What comes to mind is a shotgun wedding in which the father threatens to kill the guy who "seduced" his daughter. Such a marriage is of necessity. Another could be marrying because of a pregnancy that has to be hidden so the wedding takes place, of necessity, quickly. Another possibility is that he fell for an illegal alien—here you can make up your own story as to what might prompt a necessary marriage. Couples not "in-LOVE" marry for reasons; a humongous tax shelter could be thought of as necessary.
His reluctance to talk about it suggests it might not be a commonly accepted or easily understand reason. It could be that he intuited that you would make him wrong if he told you.
I'm concerned about your concern. Something else is going on; that you would have such thoughts about your ex is not healthy.
I'm wondering what your present relationship with him is now; when men say their marriage is "okay" it's a covert communication that they are masterminding a divorce and they are open to ... And more importantly, what's going on with you that you would create him treating you like that? For example: "Hey ex, either talk or leave. I'm not tolerating you shutting down communication, controlling me."
Gabby