Family shunning/estrangement

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Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:22 am

Family shunning/estrangement

Postby shasta » Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:28 am

Hello - If your family shuns you after estrangement [in our case - mother, two adult children] because 'too many upsets and problems' in our lives, should we 'on occasion' attend an event where we are expected to be 'part of the crowd'...'say nothing' and 'never follow-up on any relationship' -- ie, just be there to make sure there 'are a lot of people' there? There is no attempt to communicate, just stand around. Our shunning/estrangement came after my husband committed suicide and both families backed away. --- Shasta

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Re: Family shunning/estrangement

Postby Gabby » Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:54 pm

Hi Shasta, I'm not sure what happened that I didn't get an email notification of your post. My bad.

Let’s reword your letter:

[Hello Gabby- I have caused my family to shun me. I don’t know the exact communication of mine that was the turning point. I don’t know how to get to the truth of my cause in this matter; my mind is loaded with excuses and reasons which I know have nothing to do with the truth of my creation. The situation worsened when my husband committed suicide; I’ve had a difficult time accepting responsibility for his death so there’s lots of covert blame and anger directed at me.]

Hi Shasta: It doesn’t work for me to submit myself to any kind of abuse be it stink-eye or obvious avoidance. I end up judging them, making them wrong, when it’s me who put myself in their space to be abused. With this in mind, I get that you’re addicted to abuse else you wouldn’t be submitting yourself to these abuses. One either has an abuse-free day or they have their reasons.

Read how to estrange another responsibly.

With aloha,


Last edited 1/31/18

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