Abuse, abusive mum
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 10:48 am
hi, it is my first time in this forum and i would really like you to help out. tell me what you think. i am 30 yrs old, have my own life, house nad family but i still suffer because of my emotionally and verbally abusive mum. she hurts us so much and i am very concerned for my dad, brother and sister who have to live with her everyday. divorce is not legallised here and separation is too big a thing for my father to do it. dunno what the right things is. she has 7 sisters, all with the same problem and she also comes from a family who suffered an abusive father.
we are a close family who can try to understand or love her as she is but....
whenever we try to talk to her she denies being nasty. she denies saying nasty things, very intellegently i must say. she denies baing a bully, shutting us all up . i just came from her house. tried to talk to her calmly but after 10 mins she was throwing things at me and screaming that i should leave the house. i did.
it is incredible how she thiks she is not doing anything wrong, that we are all hallucinating. the rest of my family try not to talk to her, not to upset her but she just manages to find things to bark and growl about.
i suffer from anxiety attacks cos of her and i had a terrible childhood. should this go on ? can't anything be done? i believe a lot in councelling , psychotherapy and stuff but how the hell would we be able to convince her that she needs help?
another thing that worries me is that she manages to put family members against each other. as if inventing things for us to concentrate upon . she already managed to destroy a good relationship with my brother.
everything say she turns it round and it becomes a nasty thing i said. putting me in a bad light.
i love my mum, and even my dad, brothers and sisters. i wish we could handle her better.
i just asked her if she was happy like that and she said she was but i know she is not. she says i don't need anyone or anything. i said that if she thought that she would end up living on her own and she said she would not mind. meglio soli che mal accompagnati.
dunno what else to do. why should i cry everyday cos of her?
sad
we are a close family who can try to understand or love her as she is but....
whenever we try to talk to her she denies being nasty. she denies saying nasty things, very intellegently i must say. she denies baing a bully, shutting us all up . i just came from her house. tried to talk to her calmly but after 10 mins she was throwing things at me and screaming that i should leave the house. i did.
it is incredible how she thiks she is not doing anything wrong, that we are all hallucinating. the rest of my family try not to talk to her, not to upset her but she just manages to find things to bark and growl about.
i suffer from anxiety attacks cos of her and i had a terrible childhood. should this go on ? can't anything be done? i believe a lot in councelling , psychotherapy and stuff but how the hell would we be able to convince her that she needs help?
another thing that worries me is that she manages to put family members against each other. as if inventing things for us to concentrate upon . she already managed to destroy a good relationship with my brother.
everything say she turns it round and it becomes a nasty thing i said. putting me in a bad light.
i love my mum, and even my dad, brothers and sisters. i wish we could handle her better.
i just asked her if she was happy like that and she said she was but i know she is not. she says i don't need anyone or anything. i said that if she thought that she would end up living on her own and she said she would not mind. meglio soli che mal accompagnati.
dunno what else to do. why should i cry everyday cos of her?
sad