The only way to complete this for yourself is to start looking inwards, at your cause in the matter. He’ll either heal or not; for sure he can't heal as long as you delay getting counseling for yourself, by yourself. It ain’t him.
What we do know is that your present leadership-communication skills are driving him further away. You're addicted to abuse and blaming. You’ll have to be willing to begin by telling the truth, that unbeknownst to you, it’s been your intention for this to be happening. How do we know? We know by the results your leadership-communications skills have been producing. Imagine what you could do if you were conscious?
You can begin to wake up by using The Clearing Process
, it's free. It supports clarity and consciousness.
While we could spend time looking to find the exact communication, the incident in which the downward spiral began, you’d do much better to locate when this pattern began even before you got married. This is a consequence of something earlier.
We know also that you have had no intention to have him get to the source of his problem (even though this is your stuff, he also has a serious problem), because an actualized woman, one who is whole and complete, not dragging around childhood incompletes, would not support (tolerate) such abuse and avoidance. His, “here we go again . . .” is both controlling and abusive; counter-attacking is how one wrests control so as to not have to answer a question.
You’re getting some reward; there’s something you get to be right about as long as you keep him stuck. It’s a given that an angry, controlling response such as his is the way the mind hides something, it keeps you from getting to the truth. In other words, you’re causing
him to hide something, to withhold some thoughts/perpetrations, so that you don't have to share your withholds with him. Once you both share all your withholds there will be space for the experience of love; it’s called intercourse.
I'd look to see if you're unconsciously masterminding a divorce. We'll know in five years what you're really up to.
If you are, there is a cleaner, more efficient, way to bring it about. Check out the Relationship Communication-Skills Tutorial
PS: You don't mention whether he is taking a medication such as FloMax that might be affecting his libido.
Last edited 2/28/16