Making Others Do Wrong Things:
No one makes another do bad things (hurt someone, steal, lie, cheat). Everyone has free will.
A person can try and seduce someone into doing bad and evil things but it is up to
the person being 'seduced' to resist. If they give into temptation, they are to blame.
Sometimes people do evil things to others and then accuse the person they hurt of making them do it. They are abdicating responsibility for what they chose to do.
If a man beats a child , he chose to do it. No one made him. He is responsible for his own actions. No matter what. He is responsible and his actions will be judged.
It is very irresponsible to blame a 'mastermind' for what you chose to do. If a woman cheats, she can not blame her husband for making her cheat. He did not
drive her into her lover's arms. The husband did not manipulate the woman into having an affair.
In my opinion, the counseling in Dear Gabby gives power to the people doing the abuse and gives no empathy to those who are hurt. If someone is hurt it is because they made the abuser do it, they seduce him to do it, they intended for him to do it all along, they manipulated him into doing it, they drove him to do it: the person hurt was the big mastermind. What about the person doing the hurting?
They are off the hook; they become the victim. This is a dangerous way to think and it means the person who 'chose' to do harm abdicates all responsibility for his actions as he accuses, "You made me do it."
Sorry, no one can make you do anything. It would be better to learn self-control and resist temptation and pray to God for strength, then to simply blame the person you are lashing out at. The person who does harmful things to others must feel a lot of shame, especially if they do not have the self-control to stop themselves. So they find a way to cope with their lack of self-control: they hand over the responsibility to the person they hurt.
When Dear Gabby doesn't know all the facts of a story and makes comments like,
"You rewarded his unethical behaviour", "You were seducing him into doing bad",
"you intended for her to seduce him".....chills run down my spine because this is in my opinion a big MAKE-WRONG....it is saying that someone else makes others do wrong.
Everyone has free will. Everyone has a choice. No one makes you do bad. You have a choice. A husband can not make a wife have an affair, he can not drive her to it. If she believes this, she doesn't have to take responsibility for her actions.
With regards to the man who's wife cheated on him, he should not take responsibility for her actions. Maybe they are having problems and maybe he wasn't giving her enough attention, but it is up to the wife to discuss her feelings with her husband, if she's feeling unfulfilled. She shouldn't cheat and think to herself, "Well, my husband is driving me to do it, my husband actually is seducing my lover to commit adultery with me, yup, it's all my husband's fault."
People can't make you do bad, people can't make you do bad, people can't make you do bad. You choose to do bad all on your own because you have free will!