You might not like my knee-jerk first thought but, the fear you have in your relationship with your mother (parents) reveals that you're not ready to date yet. With absolute certainty you'll carry your fear into your relationships. You'll find yourself afraid to mention or bring up certain topics. Topics such as: "If you're going to do drugs please take me home." "It didn't feel good to hear you talk that way to (insert parent, friend, teacher, etc..)." "No sex. And please don't ask again." "Where are you about spanking children?" etc., and dozens of other extremely important communications and questions before you get emotionally involved.
Your sentence structure, grammar, and composition skills suggest that now is the time for you to focus on your studies, unless of course you've already made a decision to not study and instead hook some ignorant user-type-guy who doesn't care about you having a professional career. Most guys are extremely aware of whom they can con. They unconsciously look for a weak wimpy girl who has a lousy relationship with her parents, especially with her father. Such a guy looks for a girl who doesn't communicate openly and honestly with her parents because he intuitively knows he can con her into having sex behind the backs of both sets of parents. Boys who have a lousy relationship with their fathers pick women who won't insist upon him meeting her folks. Such a boy can't look your parents in the eye and communicate, (not with words but with honesty and sincerity) "You have my word, if I accidentally impregnate your daughter I will pay for child support for life, even if we split." Instead they hide the fact that they are trying to seduce their precious daughter behind their back.
As I said, this is probably not what you wanted to hear.
I'll add another answer later today or tomorrow.
Thanks for reaching out.
Update: What comes to mind today is that it would work for you to show your mother, and all future dates, this post. Otherwise, you're not being open and honest with them. If a sincere boy wants the best for you he will insist that you get coaching/counseling. To hide this conversation from anyone means that you are stuck in being sneaky for which there are undesirable consequences.
PS: My hit is that you will seduce some abusive "user" into impregnating you so that you won't have to do what it takes to become financially independent. I'd love to hear from you sometime down the road—that I was wrong, that you are single, childless, in college/not dependent upon someone for your financial survival.
Last edited 4/19/16