#17 Telephone solicitor upset about rudeness

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#17 Telephone solicitor upset about rudeness

Post by Gabby » Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:43 am

17# Telephone solicitor upset about rudeness / Rude behavior begetting rude behavior

Dear Abby: I work for a telephone research firm. I haven't been working for this company for very long, but I have already found that most people have terrible phone etiquette.

We are taught to be polite to everyone we talk to, yet we no sooner utter the phrase, "Hello, my name is... I work for a research firm," when the phone is hung up in our ears, without a word being said. All they have to do is tell us they aren't interested, and we would tell them to have nice evening. We don't force anyone to talk to us.

Also, because the computer picks the phone numbers, we don't know who we are calling. We call lots of businesses, but the majority of them don't answer the phones correctly. They say, "Hello," with no indication that it is a business. Then they get upset when we say we work for a research firm, as though we've imposed upon them. If they would answer their phone with the name of their business, we would apologize and tell them we've reached the wrong number.

Some people treat us like we are lowlifes to be doing this, but companies pay our firm to do these surveys. For us, it's a job! We have senior citizens, students and wives working for extra money to help with the bills and to buy a few groceries. What's so wrong with that? We were taught by our elders to be polite to everyone, but it seems as though they live by the double standard. M.B. IN BELLE PLAINE, IOWA

Dear M.B. There is no excuse for rudeness, but many people find it highly inconvenient to get a telephone call when they are feeding the baby, putting groceries away, hurrying to pick up the children at school etc., and they resent being interrupted by someone who is taking a survey or selling something.

People have telephones in their homes for their own convenience, not for the convenience of the research and marketing firms. ABBY.:


Gabby’s Response:

Hi M.B.: Sometimes it's a bit challenging to accept responsibility for what's coming back at me. H'mm, "How did I cause that?"

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It could be difficult for you to acknowledge (at the level of true knowingness) that it is you who are rude, intruding in the privacy of people's homes just so you and your boss can make money. You are causing people to mirror your rudeness. On top of it all you are addicted to being right and blaming others.

Re: "All they have to do is tell us they aren't interested..." They are communicating just that when they hang up. You just don't like they way they do it, just as they don't like your communication. I assure you, no matter what they said, you would not be able to simply "get it" and thank them. You would argue with them. The reason is you have no space for them to tell the truth. You are an upset looking for an argument. Picture your experience if the next 100 people you called all politely said, "I'm not interested. Thank you." and hung up. You'd be upset and angry.
Re: "We don't force..." Not the truth. Your communication, you dialing their number, forces them to answer. People get upset when you force them to do something they would not choose to do. It would work for you to ask yourself what need you have for others to be upset with you. The answer is, your integrity is out elsewhere.

Re: "as though we've imposed upon them." Duh? Where was your mind when you wrote that sentence?

It's great that you are looking at this phenomenon, the effects of your unconscious communications, at such an early age, perhaps even before you destroy too many more relationships (I'm referring to the people on this planet whom you have caused to not like you.) Thank you, Gabby

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Last edited 6/26/18

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