Precluding predictable problems
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About Gabby's Tips
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Gabby » Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:08 pm
Dear Gabby primarily serves as reference material for participants of our free tutorials .
It's understood that one can't get to the all-knowing self using the mind; the purpose of the mind is survival, not happiness or love. Your mind will protect its beliefs and understandings by arguing,...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:08 pm
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Womb-mails — baby's email to expectant parents
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Gabby » Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:35 pm
— a.k.a. An introduction to fetal imprinting:
Imprinting occurs when the mother 1 unwittingly projects her unconscious 2 , unwanted, and unprocessed 3 negative 4 feelings 5 into her still-developing fetus. —Dr. Bernard Bail (psychoanalyst)
Note : The following footnotes expand upon Dr. Bail's...
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:35 pm
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An inconsiderate gift to give a prospective partner
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Gabby » Mon Jan 11, 2016 1:02 pm
Perhaps the most inconsiderate gift you can give a prospective partner is to introduce them to your dysfunctional family * —definitely not a gift of love. 1
Dysfunctional meaning—family members who communicate abusively (such as condescending put-downs, angry yelling, trash-talking, gossiping,...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Jan 11, 2016 1:02 pm
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PTSD—a breakdown in communication
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Gabby » Tue Dec 03, 2013 12:23 am
Definitions: PTS and PTSD
P ost T raumatic S tress, (PTS) —stress that sometimes appears after a stressful incident. PTS sometimes evolves into a disorder when a veteran is not in-communication with anyone ; when the vet, and everyone with whom they interact (doctors, therapists, clergy,...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Dec 03, 2013 12:23 am
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Acknowledging a Veteran
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Gabby » Sun Nov 24, 2013 12:12 pm
Here's an acknowledgment that makes a positive * difference:
Instead of, Thank you for your service ask, For what about your military service have you not been acknowledged? or, more informally, Is there anything ( about your military service ) you haven't been acknowledged for? You can add, . ....
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Nov 24, 2013 12:12 pm
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Wedding Guest Vow
Replies: 13
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Gabby » Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:20 pm
Wedding Guest Vow
This tip is one of the most thoughtful long-lasting wedding gifts you can give a couple. It's about supporting everyone concerned in having mutually satisfying supportive relationships. However , the tip only works if both wedding partners have included a fidelity agreement in...
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Last post by Gabby
Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:34 pm
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Communicating with a Veteran—boot camp for civilians
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Gabby » Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:08 pm
Communicating with a Veteran—supporting a veteran in completing his/her military experiences — this could also be titled, Boot Camp for Civilians or Gift for Military Spouses.
If you are relating or living with a veteran then this tip will be of value (for Gabby's military experiences read About...
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:08 pm
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Creating a marriage vow that precludes cheating, etc.
Replies: 3
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Gabby » Wed Jul 13, 2005 2:40 pm
Creating a marriage vow that precludes cheating, etc. a.k.a. The Fidelity Agreement
This tip is about declaring up-front the specific behaviors/activities that are totally unacceptable —behaviors that will automatically trigger the divorce/annulment clause of your unique marriage vow— with...
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:51 pm
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Teen Dating Tip
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Gabby » Sat Apr 22, 2023 11:50 am
Teen Dating Tip: Teen, the way to cause a date to deceive (abuse) you on your very first date is to deceive (abuse) a parent and not clean it up before the date.* Your pattern of deceit has already become an addiction, and, it's not your fault. Children have no choice other than to mirror the...
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Apr 22, 2023 11:50 am
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Oral sex, mastery, infidelity -- a correlation
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Gabby » Mon Apr 18, 2022 1:43 pm
Has your partner/spouse dated someone who had mastered oral sex? Have you discussed it? Would you dare ask?
Premise : If you have dated someone who had mastered 1 intercourse, specifically, oral sex, then you have been spoiled--for life. Of all the reasons for remaining a virgin, this one is...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Apr 18, 2022 1:43 pm
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Accurate divorce predictor
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Gabby » Sat Apr 16, 2022 1:34 pm
If, as a teen, you conned your date (now your living-together partner/spouse) into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs, (and you have yet to verbally acknowledge the deceit to all concerned) then you have been creating lots of breakdowns in communication in your...
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Apr 16, 2022 1:34 pm
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Teaching a child how to create happiness
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Gabby » Wed Feb 23, 2022 1:14 pm
It's most likely your parents didn't know how to disappear upsets (via communication) so as to be happy and so they couldn't teach you how to complete any upset through to mutual satisfaction (happiness) within a single sit-down. This is because their parents, teachers, and clergy unconsciously...
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Feb 23, 2022 1:14 pm
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Home-schooling Speech-Communication
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Gabby » Mon Dec 20, 2021 1:27 pm
The pandemic presents home-schooling parents with the opportunity to formally (more effectively) introduce their children to the interpersonal, intrapersonal, and intercultural communication variables that affect outcomes. Along with the variables that affect outcomes is the subject of potential...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Dec 20, 2021 1:27 pm
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Three damaging childhood "Don'ts"
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Gabby » Tue Dec 14, 2021 1:34 pm
Premises :
abuse A communication is said to be abusive when all concerned don't feel good upon completion.
complete An interaction, a communication, is said to be complete when all concerned feel good upon completion.
Most parents unconsciously dump three damaging admonishments (make-wrongs)...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Dec 14, 2021 1:34 pm
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Beauty tip that works
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Gabby » Tue Nov 23, 2021 12:58 pm
Beauty tip that works (it's free)
Throughout life we have lied, deceived, and abused others; mostly thousands of non-verbal invalidations, trashing, stink-eye/roll-eye disses, seemingly small white-lie stuff. I.e., Did you brush your teeth? * Did you do your homework? Who ate all the ice cream?...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Nov 23, 2021 12:58 pm
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What do your tells tell?
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Gabby » Tue Sep 07, 2021 3:23 pm
Do you look loving and approachable, pleasant, and honest or does your face, your aura, reveal that you're dragging around dozens of incompletes ?
Would an FBI profiler classify you as trustworthy and honest-looking?
For what role would a film casting director choose you?
In gamboling a tell...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Sep 07, 2021 3:23 pm
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Fun dating games: Show 'n tell, etc.
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Gabby » Fri Aug 13, 2021 11:46 am
Some fun things to do on a date with a prospective partner (pre-engagement).
Ask them to show you what it sounds, looks, and feels like when they are angry. Full violent rage sounds frightening so, do consider who might overhear you. Virtually no couple when exchanging vows can imagine the violent...
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Last post by Gabby
Fri Aug 13, 2021 11:46 am
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Teen tip: How to cause parents to abuse each other
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Gabby » Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:28 pm
Leadership-Relationship Communication Tip for Young People
Scenario : Your parents are fighting a lot; they argue and yell at each other with raised voices that are frightening. It doesn't feel good. There's not much hugging lately. And, you've never heard either of them later acknowledge to you...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Jul 27, 2021 3:28 pm
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Are you feeding a "Black Hole?"
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Gabby » Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:22 pm
A Black Hole is described as a dying star that is imploding; it sucks in all the energy around it. The hole is so dense that light can't escape from it.
This same energy-sucking phenomenon takes place with relationships.
Premise : Our integrity is such that we won't allow ourselves to achieve...
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Last post by Gabby
Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:22 pm
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"Be afraid"
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Gabby » Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:58 am
Many children upon encountering their first fearful experience—perhaps darkness or an insect, a height, or a scary movie—will say, I'm afraid.
Most parents reply with their knee-jerk reaction, Don't be afraid. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just ..., etc.
This well-meant advice...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:58 am
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Creating/recreating the experience of love
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Gabby » Wed Jun 16, 2021 1:25 pm
If you are not experiencing the experience of love with someone close to you it reveals your addiction to deceit; specifically, there are thoughts you have consciously chosen to not share verbally with them and that they have an equal number (yes, the same number ) of thoughts they have not...
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Jun 16, 2021 1:25 pm
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Adoption considerations
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Gabby » Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:34 pm
Conversation topics when considering adopting.
Shall we adopt a local child?
What can an orphan see that most others can't?
Considerations about adopting another's child.
Orphanages—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Same-sex adopters and the principles of yin-yang.
king, kerrith—a...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:34 pm
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About climaxes
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Gabby » Mon May 31, 2021 3:05 pm
All dissatisfactions with sex reveal that both partners are deceiving each other, both are withholding one or more significant thoughts from the other. Stated responsibly —you are causing your partner to deceive you. With 44+ years of coaching 3-hour consultations I have not found any exceptions to...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon May 31, 2021 3:05 pm
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Integrity test: ". . . till death do us part."
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Gabby » Tue May 25, 2021 11:29 am
Premise : Every truth and every lie has an effect, even unconscious lies.
All communications (verbal, non-verbal, physical and psychic) have an effect on you and all others; a lie believed to be true does not make it true.
For example : If you are divorced and your wedding vow included, . . ....
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Last post by Gabby
Tue May 25, 2021 11:29 am
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D.N.A. an integrity consideration
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Gabby » Thu May 20, 2021 12:51 pm
The media is introducing us to considerations about our D.N.A and what we bring health-wise to any intimate relationship.
We are being introduced to possibilities—such as requesting D.N.A. information upfront as a conversation topic during the dating-invitation-conversation; it appears that we...
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Last post by Gabby
Thu May 20, 2021 12:51 pm
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The ecstasy of thoughtless intercourse
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Gabby » Mon Apr 05, 2021 1:03 pm
At first glance the title of this tip can be a bit confusing. It alludes to the practice of mindful meditation, 1 however, it pertains to observing the thoughts you are thinking while performing sex. 2 Specifically, it's about doing what you call sex minus thinking thoughts .
Thoughts serve as...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Apr 05, 2021 1:03 pm
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Baby's persistent crying—reveals integrity issue between parents
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Gabby » Thu Jan 28, 2021 1:31 pm
Babies are integrity meters:
Whenever your baby cries enough that it begins to frustrate or worry you, to cause you upset, it's the baby's way of letting you know that something's wrong, between you and your baby and between your partner and the baby and between you and your partner— you've...
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Last post by Gabby
Thu Jan 28, 2021 1:31 pm
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Sex tips
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Gabby » Wed Dec 23, 2020 2:19 pm
Sex tips:
All dissatisfactions with sex between couples reveal that both partners are withholding an equal number of significant thoughts from the other. There are no exceptions to this communication phenomenon. These withholds are being communicated non-verbally, they cause all...
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Dec 23, 2020 2:19 pm
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About cancer—the remission/reoccurring cycle
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Gabby » Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:35 pm
Premises :
One is either willing or not willing to look at, to talk about, cancer from the point of view of cause.
To disappear any problem one must first intend it—one must choose, to not only have it, but to have intended it (albeit, unconsciously). *
A problem persists because it's being...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:35 pm
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Mixed emotions vs love?
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Gabby » Tue Sep 08, 2020 12:55 pm
How does one know if they are in love, if it's love? The asker of such a question reveals a misunderstanding about communication, about love; it also reveals that the asker is incomplete in his/her relationship with both parents. The word in implies that love is a permanent 24/7 condition. The...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Sep 08, 2020 12:55 pm
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Hydration and groggy baby
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Gabby » Sun Sep 06, 2020 2:19 pm
Three possible causes for a baby who appears to be drugged, who looks groggy, one who doesn't look happy and energetic, one who cries a lot.
— During pregnancy the mother didn't drink enough water * to flush out the toxins throughout each day.
— Instead of doing the recommended readings and...
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Sep 06, 2020 2:19 pm
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Cause for financial struggles in relationships?
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Gabby » Thu Aug 06, 2020 2:24 pm
If you presently have a belief that it's OK to declare bankruptcy if things go south, does such a belief cause financial failure? Assuming of course, you agree that it's abusive to break agreements with fellow merchants, and that there should be undesirable consequences for lying, for breaking...
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Last post by Gabby
Thu Aug 06, 2020 2:24 pm
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Parents, teens, and "A-Frame Hugs"
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Gabby » Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:38 pm
An A-Frame Hug is one in which both huggers non-verbally (often it's an unconscious psychically communicated agreement) agree to lean towards and hug only the top half of each other. Most always, A-Frame Hugs are respectfully appropriate, however, between family members it's usually because both...
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:38 pm
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Got a friend or relative in prison?
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Gabby » Mon Jul 27, 2020 1:12 pm
Approximately 42% percent of the nation's parolees return to prison, in part, * because upon parole they resume relating with parents, relatives, and friends whose leadership-communications skills did not inspire integrity throughout childhood.
In other words, how you, as a parent, relative, or...
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Jul 27, 2020 1:12 pm
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How to drive your child crazy
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Gabby » Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:24 pm
We forget how all-seeing/knowing we were when young. We could see and hear the inconsistencies, the mind-numbing hypocrisies, between all adults. *
Parents lie, deceive and abuse each other yet espouse niceness and truth-telling. Do as I say . . . Few parents share life's perpetrations (first...
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:24 pm
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Thinking thoughts during sex?
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Gabby » Sat Mar 28, 2020 11:16 am
All dissatisfactions with sex are a consequence of both partners withholding the same number of thoughts (yes, both and same ) from the other—fear, uncomfortableness, and embarrassment are the most common reasons.
Sex without conscious synchronous breathing is rudimentary high school sex; it's as...
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Mar 28, 2020 11:16 am
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Covid, communication, and our immune system
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Gabby » Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:57 pm
What's going on in our body and mind while we are raising our voice in anger, when we are lying or deceiving, or when we are being abusive to someone?
Has a lie, a deceit, or a blaming abusive communication that you have yet to acknowledge (to yourself or another), been affecting your health,...
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:57 pm
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Educators with a failing student
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Gabby » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:25 pm
There are teachers and there are educators.
All educators (those with teaching degrees) with one or more failing students have become stuck doing their imitation of communication ; they are somewhere en-route to becoming a teacher. None have discovered (at the level of knowingness) the correlation...
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- 35398 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:25 pm
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About your child's poor grades.
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Gabby » Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:23 pm
Whenever a child is misbehaving or performing poorly in school it reveals that there is a breakdown in communication (between the parents, and, between the parents and the teacher(s) and, between the parents, teachers and all the adults the child relates with).
Misbehaving and failing is how...
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- 36035 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:23 pm
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Tip for Catholics
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Gabby » Wed Jan 08, 2020 2:21 pm
If life and relationships aren't working as you'd like—if you and yours are not experiencing happiness and joyous love throughout each day, then your integrity is out.
If you are a practicing Catholic (regular or occasional confessions) and you're not experiencing happiness and joyous love...
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- 36259 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Jan 08, 2020 2:21 pm
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How to cause a potential spouse to deceive you.
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Gabby » Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:35 pm
The way to ensure that your date, a possible partner, deceives you, is to withhold a significant * thought from him/her on or before the very first date.
All divorced couples brought their addictions to withholding and blaming into the relationship; they magnetically, unconsciously, attracted...
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- 36223 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Wed Dec 18, 2019 1:35 pm
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Parent-child bedtime conversations
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Gabby » Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:08 pm
Bedtime conversations with youngsters
Add this exercise to your list of bedtime readings (perhaps one topic each night).
Parent to child : Tonight we're going to talk about the subject of responsibility—
You're walking home from school with your friend. You both are throwing rocks at signs...
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- 36864 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:08 pm
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Questioning love?
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Gabby » Sat Nov 02, 2019 3:24 pm
Do you find yourself questioning if it's love?
Often, minutes before the wedding ceremony, the bride/groom question whether it’s “really” love? “Am I doing the right thing? etc. If the couple is in-communication with each other, and their respective parents, they will verbally share such...
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- 36447 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Nov 02, 2019 3:24 pm
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Who causes a snake to bite?
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Gabby » Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:28 pm
Who causes a snake to bite?
If you, knowing most snakes bite, put your hand in a snake's den, you'll most likely cause it to bite you.
If you, knowing there are karmic consequences for each and every deceit and lie, 1 date someone who verbally/non-verbally supports you in deceiving your...
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- 36187 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:28 pm
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Verbally abusive parents affect child's stress hormones
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Gabby » Sat Oct 19, 2019 3:02 pm
Few parents are aware of the effects each of their verbally abusive frictions have on their child.
Most everyone knows that when they get angry their heart-rate and blood-pressure increases, as does their respiratory rate (they breath faster). And we know, from life's experiences, that we can...
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- 36436 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Oct 19, 2019 3:02 pm
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Go around your boss!
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Gabby » Tue Sep 10, 2019 2:27 pm
You might wonder why a website about integrity and telling the truth would advise going around your boss, behind his/her back, to resolve a persistent problem?
Premises :
A problem persists because it's not being defined accurately. 1
It works to talk with the person with whom you have an...
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- 36374 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Tue Sep 10, 2019 2:27 pm
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Awesome communications—teen, marijuana, with parents
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Gabby » Sat Aug 17, 2019 2:38 pm
If you're a teen, and you've been thinking of trying marijuana, the thought of sharing your very first joint with your parents is either:
1 ) Incredibly exciting!
2 ) Frightening, I'd be afraid to even talk about it with them; we don't communicate very well and I know they would blow-up; they'd...
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- 36609 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Aug 17, 2019 2:38 pm
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Therapy vs. communication-skills coaching?
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Gabby » Sun Jun 23, 2019 1:39 pm
One significant difference between therapy and communication-skills coaching is the fact that there is no stigma with coaching.
Questions on a Job Application Form : Have you ever engaged the services of a counselor, therapist or psychologist? Have you ever had counseling? Many employers consider...
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- 37197 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sun Jun 23, 2019 1:39 pm
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Missing drug conversation w/parents?
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Gabby » Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:04 pm
Given that most parents teach their teens to lie, evidenced by the fact that the majority of dating teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as have sex, it shouldn't come as a surprise to know that the same deceit usually exists about a teen's first drug experience.
Parents...
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- 36688 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat Jun 08, 2019 3:04 pm
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The Baby Shower Game
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Gabby » Mon May 20, 2019 4:03 pm
The Baby Shower Game is a long-lasting thoughtful gift to give the bride, yourself, and your friends—it's about tweaking/restoring/maintaining everyone's integrity in support of the bride; it's about expanding our ability to positively 1 support others. The Baby Shower Game acknowledges the...
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- 37446 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Mon May 20, 2019 4:03 pm
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The consequences of asking a “why?” question
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Gabby » Sat May 18, 2019 11:39 am
The consequences of asking a “why?” question—the negative effects of asking “why?”
When a parent asks their child why they spilled the milk the parent accidentally (unconsciously) sets up the child to lie; the lie (that specific lie) has undesirable consequences for both the child and the...
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- 36897 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat May 18, 2019 11:39 am
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How to keep a veteran stuck.
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Gabby » Sat May 04, 2019 4:40 pm
How to keep a veteran stuck.
It's all about intention. You and I have never formulated an intention for it to be any other way. If we keep communicating with vets the way we have been we have the formula for more of the same. * On the other hand, we can choose to be uncomfortable and ask a vet....
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- 36657 Views
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Last post by Gabby
Sat May 04, 2019 4:40 pm
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