Dear Gabby

Teen Dating Tip: Teen, the way to cause a date to deceive (abuse) you on your very first date is to deceive (abuse) a parent and not clean it up before the date.* Your pattern of deceit has already become an addiction, and, it's not your fault. Children have no choice other than to mirror the...

Has your partner/spouse dated someone who had mastered oral sex? Have you discussed it? Would you dare ask?

Premise : If you have dated someone who had mastered 1 intercourse, specifically, oral sex, then you have been spoiled--for life. Of all the reasons for remaining a virgin, this one is...

If, as a teen, you conned your date (now your living-together partner/spouse) into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs, (and you have yet to verbally acknowledge the deceit to all concerned) then you have been creating lots of breakdowns in communication in your...

It's most likely your parents didn't know how to disappear upsets (via communication) so as to be happy and so they couldn't teach you how to complete any upset through to mutual satisfaction (happiness) within a single sit-down. This is because their parents, teachers, and clergy unconsciously...

The pandemic presents home-schooling parents with the opportunity to formally (more effectively) introduce their children to the interpersonal, intrapersonal, and intercultural communication variables that affect outcomes. Along with the variables that affect outcomes is the subject of potential...

Premises :

abuse A communication is said to be abusive when all concerned don't feel good upon completion.

complete An interaction, a communication, is said to be complete when all concerned feel good upon completion.
Most parents unconsciously dump three damaging admonishments (make-wrongs)...

Beauty tip that works (it's free)

Throughout life we have lied, deceived, and abused others; mostly thousands of non-verbal invalidations, trashing, stink-eye/roll-eye disses, seemingly small white-lie stuff. I.e., Did you brush your teeth? * Did you do your homework? Who ate all the ice cream?...

Do you look loving and approachable, pleasant, and honest or does your face, your aura, reveal that you're dragging around dozens of incompletes ?

Would an FBI profiler classify you as trustworthy and honest-looking?

For what role would a film casting director choose you?

In gamboling a tell...

Some fun things to do on a date with a prospective partner (pre-engagement).

Ask them to show you what it sounds, looks, and feels like when they are angry. Full violent rage sounds frightening so, do consider who might overhear you. Virtually no couple when exchanging vows can imagine the violent...

Leadership-Relationship Communication Tip for Young People

Scenario : Your parents are fighting a lot; they argue and yell at each other with raised voices that are frightening. It doesn't feel good. There's not much hugging lately. And, you've never heard either of them later acknowledge to you...

A Black Hole is described as a dying star that is imploding; it sucks in all the energy around it. The hole is so dense that light can't escape from it.

This same energy-sucking phenomenon takes place with relationships.

Premise : Our integrity is such that we won't allow ourselves to achieve...

Many children upon encountering their first fearful experience—perhaps darkness or an insect, a height, or a scary movie—will say, I'm afraid.

Most parents reply with their knee-jerk reaction, Don't be afraid. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just ..., etc.

This well-meant advice...

If you are not experiencing the experience of love with someone close to you it reveals your addiction to deceit; specifically, there are thoughts you have consciously chosen to not share verbally with them and that they have an equal number (yes, the same number ) of thoughts they have not...

Conversation topics when considering adopting.

Shall we adopt a local child?

What can an orphan see that most others can't?

Considerations about adopting another's child.

Orphanages—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Same-sex adopters and the principles of yin-yang.

king, kerrith—a...

All dissatisfactions with sex reveal that both partners are deceiving each other, both are withholding one or more significant thoughts from the other. Stated responsibly —you are causing your partner to deceive you. With 44+ years of coaching 3-hour consultations I have not found any exceptions to...

Premise : Every truth and every lie has an effect, even unconscious lies.

All communications (verbal, non-verbal, physical and psychic) have an effect on you and all others; a lie believed to be true does not make it true.
For example : If you are divorced and your wedding vow included, . . ....

The media is introducing us to considerations about our D.N.A and what we bring health-wise to any intimate relationship.

We are being introduced to possibilities—such as requesting D.N.A. information upfront as a conversation topic during the dating-invitation-conversation; it appears that we...

At first glance the title of this tip can be a bit confusing. It alludes to the practice of mindful meditation, 1 however, it pertains to observing the thoughts you are thinking while performing sex. 2 Specifically, it's about doing what you call sex minus thinking thoughts .

Thoughts serve as...

Babies are integrity meters:

Whenever your baby cries enough that it begins to frustrate or worry you, to cause you upset, it's the baby's way of letting you know that something's wrong, between you and your baby and between your partner and the baby and between you and your partner— you've...

Sex tips:

All dissatisfactions with sex between couples reveal that both partners are withholding an equal number of significant thoughts from the other. There are no exceptions to this communication phenomenon. These withholds are being communicated non-verbally, they cause all...

Premises :
One is either willing or not willing to look at, to talk about, cancer from the point of view of cause.
To disappear any problem one must first intend it—one must choose, to not only have it, but to have intended it (albeit, unconsciously). *
A problem persists because it's being...

How does one know if they are in love, if it's love? The asker of such a question reveals a misunderstanding about communication, about love; it also reveals that the asker is incomplete in his/her relationship with both parents. The word in implies that love is a permanent 24/7 condition. The...

Three possible causes for a baby who appears to be drugged, who looks groggy, one who doesn't look happy and energetic, one who cries a lot.

— During pregnancy the mother didn't drink enough water * to flush out the toxins throughout each day.

— Instead of doing the recommended readings and...

If you presently have a belief that it's OK to declare bankruptcy if things go south, does such a belief cause financial failure? Assuming of course, you agree that it's abusive to break agreements with fellow merchants, and that there should be undesirable consequences for lying, for breaking...

An A-Frame Hug is one in which both huggers non-verbally (often it's an unconscious psychically communicated agreement) agree to lean towards and hug only the top half of each other. Most always, A-Frame Hugs are respectfully appropriate, however, between family members it's usually because both...

Approximately 42% percent of the nation's parolees return to prison, in part, * because upon parole they resume relating with parents, relatives, and friends whose leadership-communications skills did not inspire integrity throughout childhood.

In other words, how you, as a parent, relative, or...

We forget how all-seeing/knowing we were when young. We could see and hear the inconsistencies, the mind-numbing hypocrisies, between all adults. *

Parents lie, deceive and abuse each other yet espouse niceness and truth-telling. Do as I say . . . Few parents share life's perpetrations (first...

All dissatisfactions with sex are a consequence of both partners withholding the same number of thoughts (yes, both and same ) from the other—fear, uncomfortableness, and embarrassment are the most common reasons.

Sex without conscious synchronous breathing is rudimentary high school sex; it's as...

What's going on in our body and mind while we are raising our voice in anger, when we are lying or deceiving, or when we are being abusive to someone?

Has a lie, a deceit, or a blaming abusive communication that you have yet to acknowledge (to yourself or another), been affecting your health,...

There are teachers and there are educators.

All educators (those with teaching degrees) with one or more failing students have become stuck doing their imitation of communication ; they are somewhere en-route to becoming a teacher. None have discovered (at the level of knowingness) the correlation...

Whenever a child is misbehaving or performing poorly in school it reveals that there is a breakdown in communication (between the parents, and, between the parents and the teacher(s) and, between the parents, teachers and all the adults the child relates with).

Misbehaving and failing is how...

If life and relationships aren't working as you'd like—if you and yours are not experiencing happiness and joyous love throughout each day, then your integrity is out.

If you are a practicing Catholic (regular or occasional confessions) and you're not experiencing happiness and joyous love...

The way to ensure that your date, a possible partner, deceives you, is to withhold a significant * thought from him/her on or before the very first date.
All divorced couples brought their addictions to withholding and blaming into the relationship; they magnetically, unconsciously, attracted...

Bedtime conversations with youngsters

Add this exercise to your list of bedtime readings (perhaps one topic each night).

Parent to child : Tonight we're going to talk about the subject of responsibility—
You're walking home from school with your friend. You both are throwing rocks at signs...

Do you find yourself questioning if it's love?

Often, minutes before the wedding ceremony, the bride/groom question whether it’s “really” love? “Am I doing the right thing? etc. If the couple is in-communication with each other, and their respective parents, they will verbally share such...

Who causes a snake to bite?

If you, knowing most snakes bite, put your hand in a snake's den, you'll most likely cause it to bite you.

If you, knowing there are karmic consequences for each and every deceit and lie, 1 date someone who verbally/non-verbally supports you in deceiving your...

Few parents are aware of the effects each of their verbally abusive frictions have on their child.

Most everyone knows that when they get angry their heart-rate and blood-pressure increases, as does their respiratory rate (they breath faster). And we know, from life's experiences, that we can...

You might wonder why a website about integrity and telling the truth would advise going around your boss, behind his/her back, to resolve a persistent problem?

Premises :

A problem persists because it's not being defined accurately. 1

It works to talk with the person with whom you have an...

If you're a teen, and you've been thinking of trying marijuana, the thought of sharing your very first joint with your parents is either:

1 ) Incredibly exciting!
2 ) Frightening, I'd be afraid to even talk about it with them; we don't communicate very well and I know they would blow-up; they'd...

One significant difference between therapy and communication-skills coaching is the fact that there is no stigma with coaching.

Questions on a Job Application Form : Have you ever engaged the services of a counselor, therapist or psychologist? Have you ever had counseling? Many employers consider...

Given that most parents teach their teens to lie, evidenced by the fact that the majority of dating teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as have sex, it shouldn't come as a surprise to know that the same deceit usually exists about a teen's first drug experience.

Parents...

The Baby Shower Game is a long-lasting thoughtful gift to give the bride, yourself, and your friends—it's about tweaking/restoring/maintaining everyone's integrity in support of the bride; it's about expanding our ability to positively 1 support others. The Baby Shower Game acknowledges the...

The consequences of asking a “why?” question—the negative effects of asking “why?”

When a parent asks their child why they spilled the milk the parent accidentally (unconsciously) sets up the child to lie; the lie (that specific lie) has undesirable consequences for both the child and the...

How to keep a veteran stuck.

It's all about intention. You and I have never formulated an intention for it to be any other way. If we keep communicating with vets the way we have been we have the formula for more of the same. * On the other hand, we can choose to be uncomfortable and ask a vet....