Dear Gabby

How do you know if a date, a prospective partner, is supportable? *

Do you know if your help (your good ideas, your advice and suggestions) are going to be acted upon? Did your friend dump a problem in your space with zero intention of resolving it—do they still have the problem? Are you an...

Here's a test to support you in manifesting your stated intentions:

This test is referred to as discovery learning.

Premise : Inaccurate beliefs produce less than desirable results; your beliefs about lies produce the less-than-favorable results you've been producing, for yourself and all with...

That you were tempted to read this tip suggests a misunderstanding about relationships. *

One cannot not have a relationship. We are always having a relationship with everyone; with some we interact frequently and, there are millions and millions we have yet to meet, still, we are all related....

One often hears from a cancer survivor, Thanks to the grace of God my cancer is gone/in remission. Seldom, if ever, does one hear, I thank God for giving me cancer. Never have I heard a parent say, I thank God for giving my child COVID and for killing her.

Most believers have a unique definition...

Definition of Responsibility—a Test:

Ask all the teachers in any school to relate to you the definition of the word responsible and you'll get as many different answers as there are teachers. At first glance this seems to be Trump-like unbelievable, * however, it's supported by the facts—most...

If your child has a problem waking up, if you have to re-awake him/her several times, if he/she doesn't greet each day with excitement (assuming he/she used to get up full of energy) 1 — then, your child is non-verbally communicating that something is bothering him/her. it could be a...

Tip #1 : Do The Clearing Process for Professionals , then you can ask each job applicant to complete The Clearing Process . The process is about restoring and maintaining one's integrity. It's an excellent way of preventing poor performance and accidents that have as their source earlier...

One of the many benefits of having a teen is that you always have a clean car and clean house windows, chores that truly deserve an allowance. Aside from teaching your teen to do complete work The Clean Window Assignment is an excellent way of discovering withholds and upsets between you and your...

Generation after generation we high school graduates have been submitting our teachers to the humiliation of having to pathetically beg, or strike, for pay raises, supplies and maintenance funds. In communication coaching this behavior of ours is referred to as thwarting. Clearly we have not been...

Do you sometimes find yourself having thoughts about getting back together with your ex?

Following are some considerations—a bunch of thoughts—to support you in making a decision; if you read this tip you may have an aha, a realization or an experience, that will, at least temporarily, allow you...

Facts:
The majority of today's parents are withholding one or more significant thoughts from each other. 1

The majority of today's parents are teaching their child to deceive them and others. 2

All divorced couples withheld significant thoughts from each other on their first date. 3

The...

Premises :

1) All lies and all truths have an effect. For example: If, when you were ten-years-old, your mother asked if you had brushed your teeth and if you lied, and you have never verbally 1 acknowledged that specific lie to your mother, then that 2 lie is still affecting outcomes to this...

The obligatory Birds and Bees Talk usually triggers uncomfortableness and embarrassment for parents and their prepubescent 1 child —this because most parents are unaware that they are uncomfortable talking about sex and so they don't verbally acknowledge to each other, and to their child , their...

Here's what to look for if you want to have sex :

1) Look for a boy who trash-talks his teachers and parents or blames them for the rules and curfews.

For example: My stupid parents want me home by 11 pm —an irresponsible blaming badmouthing communication. In other words, if you are aware of a...

Child abuse is delivered four different ways; verbal 1 , non-verbal 2 , physical 3 , and psychic 4 .

The effects of all child abuse can be mitigated or disappeared through communication, either a written or a verbal acknowledgment ( communication is entirely different than talking ).
If an...

A caught cheater knows they have (premeditatively, disrespectfully) abused their partner and so they usually act or actually feel guilty/badly; they recite apologies and look appropriately contrite. Most then beg forgiveness and ask for another chance. Few ever use the incident to recall, and...

Sex tips for teenage boys

Here's what to look for if you want to have sex :

1) Look for a girl who trash-talks her parents or blames them for the rules and curfews (I.e. My stupid parents want me home by 11 pm. —an irresponsible blaming badmouthing communication). In other words, if you are...

Would you hire you?

Do you have thoughts you withhold from your supervisor(s) and the boss? Are you open and honest in your personal relationship, zero significant withholds . Have you experienced that your personal integrity affects all outcomes including the goals of your organization? Have you...

Here's an excellent, extremely accurate, test to see where your relationship is, or is heading, its potential. Is it still growing—still expanding or have you become stuck talking with your partner rather than experiencing the supportive love that's automatically generated via communication ? If...

When was the last time you experienced joyous love with your partner?

Perhaps you know you love your partner but it has been quite a while since you've experienced the unmistakable experience of joy, respect, appreciation, of teary-eyed ecstasy; if so, all it takes is a single sit-down...

This tip is primarily for teens.

This subject adds to your high school speech-communication curriculum—a direct experience of personal responsibility. Specifically, it's about your non-verbal communications and the effects they have on your class-mates/friends. It's one of those learning...

Weapons training—starting from mastery

Most people who have fired a weapon did not hit the bulls-eye the first time. For most, shooting or hunting never became a sport or an activity for self-improvement, self-defense, meditation, or mastery—in part, because they discovered that hitting the...

Here's an excellent tip for a parent :

Many parents and teachers use time-outs when a child is dramatizing an upset. *

For example :

Go to your room. Come out when you can tell me ... (insert your criteria). i.e. How you started the argument. or, What you did to cause me to send you to your...

The sounds, the vibrations, the non-verbal emanations, between parents, either feel good (normal) to the fetus or there is something unsettling, confusing, fearful, or incomplete about the experience, about the communications taking place .

For a child to be born whole and complete he/she must...

Thanksgiving—all day—everyday .

The Thank You Process — a.k.a. An Acknowledgment Process —it works and it's free.

So simple—so amazingly effective—immediate positive results . results meaning happiness, moving flowing emotions of appreciation, an experience of being.

All...

Definition of affirmation : 1 : the act of affirming 2 : something affirmed 3 : a positive assertion 4 : a solemn declaration made under the penalties of perjury by a person who conscientiously declines taking an oath. An affirmation can reinforce both desired and undesired behaviors.

An...

Given that almost 40% of married couples end up divorced it might work to be selective about whom to invite to your wedding—and, as a guest, which weddings to attend. 1

It's understood that most wedding guests do not accept responsibility for the success or failure of a friend's marriage. Most...

Was it good for you?

Women : If your partner has asked, Did you cum? or, Was it good for you? then you have non-verbally caused doubt. Put another way, you have not been in-communication with your partner —talking? Yes. In-communication? No. You have become stuck having rudimentary high school...

Must-read topics for engaged couples (free — no registration required)

Conversations to have with your intended : 1

The following tips support open, honest, spontaneous, and responsible communication between couples—zero significant 2 withholds —thoughts withheld for reasons.

Premise : If...

Do you find yourself having a knee-jerk reaction to someone with tattoos? Does your mind immediately self-correct as your memory automatically recalls what elders used to say and advise about tattoos?

If so, it could very well be that seeing someone with several tattoos unconsciously triggers...

The way to transform rudimentary (physical) high school sex into exquisite intercourse is to do frequent clearings with your partner using The Clearing Process ). Clearings (a.k.a. be-withs) lead to breathing together. Ironically, synchronous breathing with a partner is referred to as conspiring....

Must-read for Military Academy Cadets — Military Academy Scandals—a story

After reading the . . . story imagine if you will, trying to have a mutually satisfying conversation about it with an Academy Commandant. We just know you'd be on the receiving end of lots of justifications, excuses,...

This tip (pun intended) is primarily for engaged couples who will have to make a decision whether or not to circumcise their baby boy. It addresses a point of view not commonly discussed in the pro and con articles (traditions, medical, and religious) about circumcision. If your intended has a firm...

How do I know if it's love?

Short answer : If you have to ask, it ain't love. If there's doubt, it's not love. The experience of love is unmistakably unmistakable. And, the experience of love comes and goes throughout each day, (assuming that you are in-communication with each other). If you're...

What's the sound of one hand slapping? —Kerry's koan

Tip : If you think you know the answer, you don't; one knows or they don't.

A child who has been slapped knows. . . . it's what it sounds like when doves cry. —Prince

None of us rest peacefully knowing that we, using our...

Do you need to be cheated or deceived?

One way to tell if you're ripe for marital infidelity, a mark * for a scam, or a victim ** for abuse, is to look and see who in your life would say that they have been scammed, deceived, or abused by you.
It's not that you have committed such...

Are you training your daughter to attract an abusive controlling partner?

Note : Reading this through to the end (clicking on each hyperlink) is comparable to a weekend-long Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Workshop .

It's commonly thought that a woman seeks a man like her father....

A swift kick in the ass restores communication

Caesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, when walking a dog that is in their aggressive zone —dominant, leash-tugging, walking-ahead—will deliver a swift wake-up kick (foot bump) to the dog’s rear end. The dog is so preoccupied (zoned-out) with his/her...

How to tell if your child has a teacher or an education major; an education major is someone in the process of becoming a teacher.

Someone in the process of becoming a teacher has yet to demonstrate an ability to consistently—

—have all homework turned in neatly and on time. A teacher can be...

If you and your partner are thinking about adopting a child this 83-yr-old orphan recommends that you allow the following considerations to enter your minds. Not to worry, any BS can easily be composted.

Premise : If you are thinking about adopting and can't or won't read this entire tip (it...

Dating tips for lookers
 
These tips are for those looking for a full-time partner, perhaps even marriage.

If you have been dating one person and are considering marriage then these tips might be too late. For those still shopping here are some stimulating conversations to have with a date. If...

Dog Recreating Baby's Communication

This 90 second video titled Dog Babysitting Baby was submitted to YouTube by LordDavid6 from Argentina.

It's an amazing example of what happens when one (in this case a dog) recreates another's communication, in this instance, a baby's discomfiture and upset....

Scenario: Your partner committed a perpetration; they have broken a written, verbal, or an implied agreement. Let's assume it was a biggie such as physical abuse, a felony theft/illegal activity, an extramarital affair, on-line porn/gay chats, or that he/she has been using/selling drugs behind your...

Shall we spank our children? — conversation topic for engaged couples

To spank or not spank our children? Your answer now, your beliefs about spanking children, is a predictor of whether or not there will be abusive arguments between you and your spouse throughout your relationship.
 
This is an...

This tip (pun intended) is for men who have experienced erectile problems or perhaps are approaching dependency on a drug such as Viagra. It’s also for anyone wishing to accelerate the communication mastery process, making the transition from rudimentary high school sex to exquisite intercourse....

This can also be titled: Clues to knowing if you are supporting your spouse positively or negatively.

Bankruptcy: When one conducts business irresponsibly/unethically and can no longer pay their bills on time they file for bankruptcy; this procedure, though legal is unethical. It’s unethical...

A tip for parents about creating a safe space for certain truths to be told.

The majority of parents do not communicate openly, honestly, and spontaneously with each other. Between themselves they have accumulated dozens of significant thoughts they have hidden from each other—these thoughts are...

An alternative to pressing charges

Each day thousands of police nationwide respond to 911 domestic violence calls. Typically one partner (designated as the “victim”) goaded their partner (designated as the “abuser”) into hitting them. Still reacting from the violence the “victim” is guided by the...

This tip is primarily for parents of a teenager .

If, as the parent of a teen, you believe there is such a thing as an accidental pregnancy then you are ripe for your teen surprising you one day with an “accidental” pregnancy. In other words, given your present belief system, your child already...

Here are a couple things to consider when selecting a relationship partner:

Do you or your partner support deceit?

For example: If you conned your girlfriend into having sex without having verbal support from her parents, if she is programmed to deceive her parents by having sex behind their...

Can’t stop getting angry?

If you frequently find yourself getting angry at your spouse or children or your parents then this tip will be value.

For this tip we'll agree that there are two types of anger :

1) Anger that's what you say it's about. I.e. If burnt toast triggered the upset (and...