Here are a
couple things to consider when selecting a relationship partner:
Do you or your partner support deceit?
For example:
If you conned your girlfriend into having sex without having
verbal support from her parents, if she is programmed to deceive
her parents by having sex behind their backs, then there will be
lots of
breakdowns in communications
in your relationship with her including withholds, sneaking, and
deceit. There are no exceptions to this phenomenon. Most boys,
who completely disrespected their date's father, later discover,
often when they are fathers, that complete respect and trust is
missing in their relationship with their daughter who is afraid
to share that she's been thinking about having sex with her
boyfriend.
The karma for thwarting the intentions of a
girl’s father will come back to haunt you when it’s least
expected (unless*).
A relationship with deception in it cannot expand and grow; the
deception serves as a barrier to the experience of love, to
re-creating, at will, the experience of love through a sit-down
conversation. The experience of love is generated through
genuine intercourse, it is grounded on integrity (all of life's
perpetrations have been acknowledged and cleaned up).
Another example: If you know your girlfriend lied, telling her
parents that she was going to the library, when in fact you went
somewhere else, and you know she has yet to come clean about the
incident with her parents and, most importantly, you have not
supported her in acknowledging the perpetration to her parents,
then there will definitely be deceit in your relationship with
her. Again, there are no exceptions to this phenomenon. The
consequences are compounded because you not only supported her
in deceiving her parents, you mislead her into believing you
were an honorable person, someone with her best interests at
heart.
Yet other examples: If you’re trying to con your
girlfriend into having sex and you haven’t said to her, “If I
get you pregnant you have my word that I’ll pay 50% of
everything until the child is 18-years-old” (total cost = approx
$200,000.00 not including approx $1000.00 for the birth hospital
fee) then you are deceitfully misleading her into believing that
you’re an honorable person. Worse, you have not responsibly
communicated to both sets of parents and your community's tax
payers, "I expect everyone to pay for my unplanned pregnancy."
This premeditated scam of yours will cost you mush more in terms
of your won prosperity. I say
premeditated because you can
no longer say you didn't know.
Conversely, if you con
your boyfriend into conning you into having sex and you haven’t
discussed the possibilities, as to who pays for what if we get
pregnant, then you are deceitfully setting yourself up to be
“accidentally” impregnated, mostly likely so that you don’t have
to study hard so as to go to college or so that you don’t have
to get a job right out of high school. Ruining a boy’s chances
of going to college just so you can play mother is unethical for
which there are undesirable consequences.
How does he/she
treat their parents?
For example: If your boyfriend is
rude to his parents, if he badmouths them, talks condescendingly
to them, or negatively about them behind their backs, then it’s
just a matter of time that there will be trash-talking in your
relationship with him. Put another way, if you silently support
him in speaking disparagingly about his parents, he will
eventually talk badly about you to others.
How you handle
the very first incident in which he speaks rudely to his parents
reveals whether he is supportable. I.e. Mom to son: “Where are
you going?” Son: “Christ mom, I told you yesterday, we’re just
going to the movies.” And you remain silent, non-verbally
condoning him speaking rudely to the parent, instead of saying
to him, “Ouch, that didn’t feel good.” If he acknowledges the
abuse then you’ve got yourself a winner. If he gets upset at you
[for taking his mother’s side] then the relationship is all over
but the drama; it will end unpleasantly.
Bottom line:
There are always undesirable consequences for deceit, often,
depending upon your arrogance, the consequences come when you
least want or expect.
*
Unless the perpetration has been acknowledged to all concerned.