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Thinking of Adopting? . . . an
orphan's tips about adopting
What can an orphan see that most others can't?
The following conversation topics are for
couples considering adoption.
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An orphan becomes
supersensitive to non-verbal and psychic
communications between any adult couples or
new foster parents. In
other words, an orphan has experienced the
vibrations that his/her birth parents
generated during discussions (when thinking
or verbalizing such thoughts) about whether
to give their child up for adoption. The
parent's grief, anxiety, abusive loud
arguments, are all stored in an orphan's
mind; an orphan knows exactly what the
vibrations were during prenatal development,
when the adults were having
relationship-communication problems, when
the adults were in fact each unconsciously
masterminding a separation/divorce/adoption.
If a birth mother held/holds in her mind
that if things get bad I'll put the child up
for adoption (if a mother has a premeditated
Plan B as an option) then the
developing embryo is aware of the
possibility and lives life consistent with
that possibility. Some mothers never
ever have such a
thought and so their child lives secure in
that regard. Read:
What
to do when your baby won't stop crying.
A person who administers a polygraph machine
(a lie detector) first asks a series of
obviously true and obviously false
questions. This gives the operator a
baseline, a standard from which to compare
other truths and lies. So too it is with a
young child. A child
accumulates enough baseline measurements to
know when his/her parents are happy and
giggling and experiencing love. The
space is open; the vibrations feel good,
they are soothing. Conversely, when the
parents are experiencing upset or anger the
space is obviously shut down and heavy,
there is no space for communication to take
place, just talking (exchanged words). It
causes concern and fear. If the
anger is dramatized for hours or days it's
even more frightening, mostly
because the child thinks that he/she is
causing the friction between the parents (this,
no matter the words used to assure him/her
they are not responsible; at some level a
child intuitively knows more about responsibility than
the parents).Fish don't complain about water and orphans
don't complain about being an orphan. Why?
Because fish and most orphans don't know
anything else so they have nothing with
which to compare life.
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Giving a child up for adoption may be the
most responsible compassionate gift a parent
can give—saving the child from a life of
verbal abuse, from the karma of parents who
are out-integrity.
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A pre-puberty orphan's mind will tell itself
everything's fine because it doesn't yet
understand the multiple significances of
having been given up for adoption. However,
thoughts such as [Was it me, was it my
fault?] ring repeatedly in the mind. What
the mind knows is that it could happen
again, abandonment is real, it could be
abandoned again. The next time it want's to
be ready, and so, like a blind person who
develops super auditory and tactile senses
as well as extra-sensory perceptions, an
orphan develops an ability to sense when
something wrong, when something is
out-integrity, when a
communication-breakdown leading to
abandonment might happen again.
-
If a birth mother held/holds in her mind
that if things get bad I'll put the child up
for adoption (if a mother has a premeditated
Plan B as an option) then the
developing embryo is aware of the
possibility and lives life consistent with
that possibility. Some mothers never
ever have such a
thought and so their child lives secure in
that regard. Read: What
to do when your baby won't stop crying.
-
A person who administers a polygraph machine
(a lie detector) first asks a series of
obviously true and obviously false
questions. This gives the operator a
baseline, a standard from which to compare
other truths and lies. So too it is with a
young child. A child
accumulates enough baseline measurements to
know when his/her parents are happy and
giggling and experiencing love. The
space is open; the vibrations feel good,
they are soothing. Conversely, when the
parents are experiencing upset or anger the
space is obviously shut down and heavy,
there is no space for communication to take
place, just talking (exchanged words). It
causes concern and fear. If the
anger is dramatized for hours or days it's
even more frightening, mostly
because the child thinks that he/she is
causing the friction between the parents (this,
no matter the words used to assure him/her
they are not responsible; at some level a
child intuitively knows more about responsibility than
the parents).
-
The above is
what's so for a child who lives with his/her
birth parents.
What's so for most orphans is
that they are even more
sensitive. Because of an orphan's
memory, of having been cause for the first
abandonment, they are supersensitive to any
vibrations that portend another move,
another set of guardians. They can tell when
there's a breakdown
in communication between
the guardians; more specifically, they can
sense when there is a withhold, deceit, or
unacknowledged perpetration in the space
between them. It's a scary vibration, it's
the absence of harmony. Thoughts withheld
between partners serve as barriers to the
experience of communication and of love. This
heightened sensitivity to integrity can be
thought of as an orphan's learned survival
skill.
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Expressions of love to a child, when
delivered by a parent who is dramatizing an
upset with his/her partner, can't be gotten
as an experience, only as words. In other
words, if the parents aren't experiencing
love between them then love can't be turned
on for just a second, "Oh, child, I love
you." and in the next breath continue where
they left off in the argument. Thinks the
mind, how can you love me and be abusing
each other—especially knowing how it
affects me?
". . . officials
estimate 75 percent of youths in the state’s
criminal justice system were once in foster
care."
Last edited
6/8/21
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