I have a feeling you'll say to be ourselves and it will all work out, but thus far it has NOT worked out, and we're starting to worry. Personally, I think we'd be better off to take jobs as "administrators" in a large company somewhere and hope for the best.

Help, Abby! What's the answer for smart, fun women who have their acts together? How can we best poise ourselves to find true love while being true to ourselves? LOSING FAITH IN FINDING MR. RIGHT

DEAR LOSING FAITH: The truth is, there are no guarantees that ANYONE (male or female) will land a mate. It isn't easy these days because people are commitment-phobic. And this applies to individuals at all economic and educational levels, not just you at the top. Pairing off is often a matter of luck and timing-being in the right place at the right time.

Eligible members of both sexes can be found in places of common interest places that are intellectually rewarding, culturally stimulating, athletically challenging or financially advantageous. As to whether you should downgrade your job level in order to appear less "threatening," I guarantee that if you don't take financial care of yourselves while you can you will regret it later. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you could fool some of the bachelors some of the time, but you couldn't fool all of them all of the time.

Hi Faith: Your use of the word "losing" is an affirmation for more of the same results. It indicates that you are not in present-time; it's an "I am" statement as opposed to, I was and am not now nor do I plan to. You would not tell a client, "I’m losing faith that I will…."

Your use of the word "faith" indicates that you are at effect in your relationships. An actualized woman creates her own reality and communicates from that point of view. You communicate from blame and victim. You assign results you have produced with your leadership-communication skills to outside causes consequently no actualized man would hang around you for long.

If you could see you and your friends from across the room, bemoaning and complaining, you'd see in a nano-second why none of you are attracting that which you say you want. My sense is your laughter changes when you're together; it's hard to describe what that laugh sounds like but it's not attractive. It's much like the effect of the raucous laugh of a group of men pretending things to be funnier than they are, most often with an undertone of bawdiness. Yours carries with it elements of superiority and clique-like condescension—frequently an inside joke. I'm not saying to stop it, merely acknowledge that it has an effect.

None of the reasons you state have anything to do with the truth as to your marital status.

Your letter is rhetorical. "We'd all like to find," "But if we have to curtail," "how can a person...?" Instead of, "I would..." "If I have to..." "how can I...?" I don't get that you are ready for your Mr. Right. Generalizing and lumping all women (or you and your friends) into a "status" reveals that you have yet to complete your experience of bemoaning, blaming, and complaining. Have you considered that your "friends" reinforce your leadership-communication skills, your whole ground of being, the one that does not attract a wonderful partner. One way to tell if the communication model used within a support group (your group) works is to look and see if everyone is manifesting his/her desired outcomes. Given that you are the ringleader of the group have you noticed the effect you're having on the others?

Have you allowed the possibility that unbeknownst to you your inner self is supporting you in not having a primary relationship partner, instead, perhaps a life of service? Mastery begins by intending what's so to be so.

A problem persists because there is a lie somewhere. You've been living a lie. The results your leadership-communication skills have produced clearly indicate that up until this letter you have only wanted a partner.  A want is a thought being considered as an intention. A valid test of one's intentions are the results. You have yet to formulate an intention to have Mr. Wonderful.

BTW:  Preparing for Your Ideal Partner is quite the curriculum, it includes all sorts of awesome subjects such as intention, acknowledging, and support. It's about communication mastery. I suggest that you look at the possibility that there is an unconscious genius at work here. The fact that you have yet to materialize your ideal partner suggests that at some level you’ve known that you're not quite ready.

One way to create something is to complete something. It's much like what happens when you clean out your closet, donating all your old stuff to charity. Within months the closet is full once again only with clothes that more nearly reflect the you of today. The same can be done by completing relationships, specifically ones that are (or have been) less than mutually satisfying.

Your letter suggests that you don't have a mutually satisfying supportive relationship with your parents. My sense is that you also have one or more former boyfriends who are still healing from your communications. In other words, you have several incomplete relationships. One can't create a new relationship if they are dragging around incompletes (remnants) from previous relationships. Most people don't know how to complete a relationship so they dump their old ones and start another one. The newer one ends up being pretty much like all the others. In fact most people use the same communication model that doesn't work with their parents, and their old lovers, with their new relationship, the very model (a way of being, thinking, and relating) that most likely resulted in a less-than-mutually-satisfying supportive separation/estrangement.

I recommend that you do The Clearing Process for ten days in a row (it's free). You'll notice a remarkable difference in your clarity. That is to say, you are carrying around thousands of unacknowledged perpetrations, a lifetime of accumulated withholds, badmouthings, abuses, etc. What happens for everyone who does the clearing process is they empty their mind on the first day thinking they got most of it. On day-two they notice that the previous layer of thoughts was hiding dozens more that the mind had conveniently "forgotten." This continues each day until you get to the biggies and the firsts—the very first lie, theft, badmouthing, shunning, and deceit—these are the incompletes that serve as barriers to manifesting your stated intentions. Reading About Lies and Lying and Reunion Conversations will help trigger memories of incompletes,