|#45 Anonymous letter my husband
is having an affair / Am I unconsciously intending this drama?
Dear Prudence: I received
a letter informing me that my husband was having an affair. The letter
was unsigned and offered no proof. The letter did not mention a specific
woman by name but described someone who is involved in our life in a
business matter and whose husband plays with my husband on a sports
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Hi Sec: This is a wake up call; we don't know for what reason, just that something's out integrity-wise. People who are clear about their purpose in life, those who are operating from integrity, have no time, space, or need to create such drama. If something like this does come up they handle it within in a few conversations. They do what it takes (w/o fear) to get to the source of the problem.
i.e. Within minutes of receiving it one is on the phone. "Hi, Woman. I just received this letter that states . . . My paranoid mind is calling around trying to find someone who might have an idea who sent it?" [Her response would let you know if your suspicions are correct. i.e. Angry, defensive, sincerely helpful, etc.?] Your husband can ask the same to his friend.
A spouse who is on purpose with his/her marriage does not attract "interest." The love and commitment is so obvious it's ludicrous for another to even think those thoughts around such a spouse; such relationships are often looked upon with respect and admiration. An analogy might be the inappropriateness of flirting with the Pope.
BTW: A former "tease" or "flirt" requires an incredible number of conversations so as to be able to simply be without adding mixed messages. Such a person (once transformed) can become an excellent enroller for social change.
A person on the prowl can tell within a
seemingly innocent interaction whether someone is open to flirtatious dancing, to possibilities. Quite often an "innocent" fishes with
innuendos and double entendre humor i.e. "Nice bat." "You sure are a
good swinger." etc. A
wholesome person has uncanny senses and can intuit what's happening and
nip it in the bud. My point being, your husband sent or is sending some signals—the
communications may be
unconscious facial micro-muscle movements (a.k.a. as in a gambling
"tell"); however, with coaching, a person who has nothing to hide
can be supported in acknowledging having caused/supported the flirtatious communications.
"I didn't do anything" contradicts ones natural loving magnetic presence." The realization of unconscious
flirting can be a transformational experience; it always reveals
withholds. When younger,
someone pointed out that I winked at most
girls. I wasn't aware of doing it. Later, with one relationship, I was continually
accused of cheating but knew I hadn't; after we split I discovered that I had
unconsciously trolling for the next relationship, intuiting that the existing
relationship would fail, therefore being "nice" to all pretty women (i.e. psychic
cheating—which she had picked up on from my aura).
One clue as to your husband's veracity is if you are withholding one or more significant thoughts from him. If you have been withholding a thought from him that would upset him then he too is withholding a thought from you. There are no exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon. Use The [free] Clearing Process to discover the existing withholds between you and your husband.
Power is the rate at which you create, have, and complete a problem; a person committed to being complete, a person of integrity, would simply call immediately or at least invite the couple to have coffee. You'd show them the letter, ask for their help, and communicate your curiosity and concern for everyone in the community. Someone is reaching out for help. Four minds have a better chance of figuring out what's going on. That a "coffee" date solution hasn't already been implemented indicates that there's more in the space than you are willing to acknowledge. Of course you'd have to be willing to acknowledge your withholds and judgments about her to her. I assure you her husband knows, at some level, of her "interest" communications. The experience would validate his suspicions, and, give him an opportunity to acknowledge his intentions and his cause in the matter. —Thanks, Gabby
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Check back occasionally for minor edits (last edited 12/1/16)
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