How to tell if you have (unconsciously) been masterminding a divorce

 

Most divorcées can tell you the turning point after which their marriage was all over but the drama. It was an interaction from which a decision was made. This decision is seldom made consciously therefore it’s difficult to remember except with some clearing/coaching; the mind hides stuff that reveals its cause in such outcomes, it usually manufactures a blaming reality that justifies and explains everything. The story the mind keeps telling itself and others (about what happened) is rarely true. With coaching one is able to recall the incident, the conversation, from which a decision was made to end the relationship. It was an interaction that did not end mutually satisfyingly. Only now, at the end of the tunnel can one see the truth.

Few are unaware that if they keep lying about why they got divorced they will have to repeat the process until they learn how to tell the truth. What's worse is, they won't realize that they've trained their child to lie and blame others as well. Ask Gabby if what you believe to be why you divorced is the truth or simply a reason to cover up the truth.

How do you know if you’re unconsciously masterminding a divorce? Keep in mind, if you continue reading you won’t be able to say you didn’t know.

Here’s how to tell that you have been (up until now) intending a divorce. I say, “have been” because it’s possible to read this article and recommit yourself to open and honest communication.

If you have been withholding one or more thoughts from your spouse then you’ve been sabotaging your marriage. Your partner doesn't stand a chance of having things work and they don't know why. The deceit drives them crazy.

Thoughts withheld prove that you are no longer (perhaps never were) committed to open and honest communication. Only through communication can one create, sustain (or recreate at will) the experience joy and ecstasy. Furthermore, withholding proves that you are the source of, the cause of, the deceits perpetrated upon you by others. Your leadership-communication skills do not inspire integrity; your partner has no choice but to mirror your out-integrity. A relationship in which there is no mutual commitment to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously has plateaued. Such relationships are missing the experience of love. You may still love your spouse conceptually but you’ve lost the ability to create/recreate the experience of joyous love through a single sit-down conversation. It’s most likely that you’ve lost the ability to cause your partner to look you lovingly in the eyes for more than a few seconds.

It’s quite possible that you have withheld parts of your past all along. This alone contributes to all communication breakdowns, (broken agreements, prolonged anger, covert thwartings, etc..). The lesson then to be learned from this relationship is that withholding thoughts serve as a barrier to the experience of communication. All that has taken place between you and your spouse is but an imitation of communication. When communication takes place problems disappear, what’s left in their wake is the experience of satisfaction and of course, love.

What’s also true is that if you have been withholding one or more significant thoughts from your spouse you have caused them to withhold their thoughts of choice from you. There are no exceptions to this phenomenon. It’s virtually impossible to hang out with a truth-teller except that you’ll find yourself telling truths. Conversely, if you have been addicted to withholding then you will attract someone to mirror your deceit.

If you clean up (acknowledge all withholds, deceits, perpetrations to your self and your partner) then you can start anew (read Conversations to have at a reunion) and then use The Clearing Process. Telling the truth releases the negative consequences, it disappears the karma if you will. It’s called completing. Completing anything creates space for new creations.

Do print out this tip and share it with your partner.
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Last edited 12/17/20

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