There are undesirable consequences for lies and deceptions, even the unconscious, "white," and/or "accidental" ones.

Notice also that you didn't tell the truth about your brother Seth?

". . . was sentenced to prison on drug charges."

A responsible statement would be,

". . . in prison for doing/dealing drugs."

You imply that he's not guilty or at best, not responsible. If you spent time with a communication-skills coach you'd be able to recall the turning point, the specific verbal, non-verbal, physical, or psychic communication of yours, that was the turning point for Seth. Thousands of children courageously run away from abusive parents rather than submit themselves to more.

Picture if you will two rooms; in one is a Zen Master sitting with his hands folded peacefully already unconditionally loving whomever comes through the door. In the other room is you, standing with a club raised over your head. Now visualize how June would react upon entering each room. She has no choice other than to behave as she does with you because unbeknownst to you, you are a warrior; you communicate adversarially without opening your mouth (it's an aura thing). Long before June came into your life you had accumulated a lifetime of unresolved interactions and incompletes (communication breakdowns) having to do with blaming upsets and anger. If not June, you'd need to create someone else to trigger your anger.

My advice? Keep doing what you've been doing. Drive her and Pete further out of your life until you create another similar problem, possibly then you'll begin to get a sense that you are the generator of these kinds of feuds. Why you ask would I offer such ludicrous advice? It's because that's what you're programmed to do, it's what you can be trusted to do, even after reading this reply.

Most people who talk about relationship problems are unconsciously committed to failing and to taking as many down with them as possible, including their parents, and the people from whom they solicit advice.

For example: Seth has been unconsciously intent on making sure your parents fail as parents. Those in jail and in abusive relationships will unconsciously destroy their own lives rather than let their parents think they did a good job of raising them. Jail is an incredibly powerful communication to ones parents; most parents/family members go unconscious—rather than simultaneously undergo intensive rehabilitation.

You can make another kind of difference, a positive one, but you'll have to be willing to acknowledge your cause in these matters. You'd have to give up your "nice act" and tell the truth in the moment. You'd have to be willing to stop trying to hold the family together. In other words, to bring about a transformation in your life, you'd have to be willing to not have all of them in your life. Your leadership-communication support-skills breed the kinds of problems you say you don't want; it keeps everyone around you stuck in producing more of the same. It appears that things will have to get worse before you start to heal yourself.

You need 25-hours of counseling/therapy (by yourself) through which you will begin to get a handle on how to create the kinds of relationships you say you want. If you don't get counseling things will get worse. I recommend that you start the healing process today by doing The Clearing Process —it's free and it works. If not, a course such as Outward Bound or a tour in the military will wake you up (after which you will be generating more desirable problems).

To answer your question: No, you can't shun June without upsetting everyone. Why? Because they are all equally addicted to blaming abuse; just as you make June wrong for communicating as she does so too would they all make you wrong for shunning her. Each family member would resist acknowledging that they drove Seth away and supported you in shunning June. It is possible to shun another responsibly (see estrangement) but you can't be living with others addicted to abuse. Your entire family is addicted to abuse, this is what June has been trying (albeit ineffectively) to communicate. You may request how to estrange yourself from an abusive relationship in a reply to this letter on Ask Dear Gabby (free- registration required).

It's so great that you reached out. You have the power to effect a transformation, for yourself and those who wish to come along. Underneath it all I do get your love and concern.

Please show this post to all concerned.

Thank you, Gabby

P.S. You're fortunate that June doesn't behave like the rest of the family. At some level she sees how you folks are responsible for Seth's condition, what drove him to want to go unconscious with drugs; possibly it sickens her that she didn't see it before she married into the family. Even worse, she sees how Seth, you, and your family mirror her own need for therapy.*

You are correct. June needs as much therapy as you and the rest but you must do it first because you are the leader. June is addicted to abusing and to being abused else she never would have gone out on a date with your brother; his aura was such that if she had been conscious and operated from integrity (someone whole and complete) she would have sensed what was going on in the family.  She is also addicted to helping and to enabling.

BTW: It was unethical and irresponsible of Pete to have introduced her to your dysfunctional family (it wasn't a gift of love).

P.P.S. Experience tells me that recidivism is partly linked to the fact that most parolees return to their families and friends who are still using the same leadership-communication skills that supported the parolee in not going straight in the first place. A parolee leaves prison somewhat rehabilitated but within a few conversations (yes, just a few) with their family (who did not concurrently undergo rehabilitation) the parolee will undo the work they accomplished with the prison counselors, automatically reverting back to communicating as before. In other words, there's a 42% chance that your brother will return to prison unless you get help for yourself. No one in your family can heal as long as they continue to relate/interact with you. If Josh heard that you estranged yourself from the family and enrolled in therapy after reading this reply it would blow his mind. He'd get a sense of the futility of interacting with the family until they too had undergone rehabilitation.

* If June were to ask I'd advise her to estrange herself from the entire family, and her own family, the ones who trained her to create and put up with such abuse.